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Book Reports

The Stories We Tell Ourselves

One of my favorite books is Crucial Accountability, by Kerry Patterson, Joseph Grenny, Ron McMillan, Al Switzler and David Maxwell. I read it after I heard one of the authors speak at a conference last year. What I liked best about the book was that it takes all of your good intentions and helps you put them into action. The whole premise is that we need to address the gap between our expectations and reality, though we seldom do. We’ll complain about where our colleagues fall short and we grumble about what our spouse forgot to do, but we rarely address these issues with the person involved. We’re happy to tell everyone else, but it’s too scary to talk about it with them directly. We’re nervous they won’t see it our way, we’re afraid they won’t like us, we don’t want to be seen as too demanding…the list goes on and on.

In talking about how to address these issues, the book suggests changing the stories we tell ourselves. When a colleague of mine totally blows off a meeting with me without any heads up, it’s easy for me to tell myself that she’s rude and doesn’t respect me. The suggestion made by authors, however, is to ask yourself why would a logical and rational person would behave this way. It’s perhaps another way of putting yourself in someone else’s shoes, but with a bit different angle. I’m not a particularly unlikable person, and we do have a culture of respect in my office, and really, if I’m honest, her blowing off the meeting probably has very little to do with me. If I ask why a logical and rational person would totally blow off my meeting, I come up with a whole list of other possibilities: she was running late and wasn’t in the building yet, she got caught up in something else and lost track of time, or – gasp – maybe I didn’t communicate how important it was for her to be there and she didn’t make it a priority. These are all things that I could see happening to me, who I consider a fairly logical and rational person.

Now sure, there are ways to avoid these things, but I think there are two important things to remember. One, we’re all doing the best we can. No one wakes up in the morning with the sole purpose of destroying my day – they’re doing the best they can and sometimes a priority for me isn’t the same priority for them. Two, shit happens. It just does. And the best we can do when it does happen is apologize and do what we can to make it right. And make sure we make it to the next meeting on time – maybe even a few minutes early.

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Book Reports Jams

10,000 Hours: Gladwell and Macklemore Style

Malcolm Gladwell brought us the concept of 10,000 hours, and while I’m about halfway through his book, Outliers, I find myself more inspired by Macklemore & Ryan Lewis’ take on Gladwell’s idea. Maybe the writing in the book is a little dry for me, or maybe I should listen to more books on tape because the spoken word resonates more with me. Either way, on the album The Heist, Macklemore introduces himself as “some Malcolm Gladwell, David Bowie meets Kayne shit,” and I find myself listening a little more closely. Macklemore was apparently so inspired by Gladwell that he devoted a whole track to it: 10,000 Hours. And in summarizing Gladwell’s take on where talent comes from, Macklemore gets it pretty succinctly: “The greats weren’t great because at birth they could paint. The greats were great because they paint a lot.”

It’s this notion of talent coming from a place of interest and then a whole lot of practice. Lots and lots of practice. 10,000 is the number of hours Gladwell suggests will make us an expert in something. For most of us, that means a minimum of five years of full time work, which assumes a 50-week work year at 40 hours per week.  If you happen to not be working in the field in which you’d like to be an expert, you’ve got to find that time in your nonworking hours. Assuming you were devoted and spent 2 hours every single day of every single week (in addition to all the things you need to be a responsible adult!), you’re looking at something just shy of 14 years.

It’s an impressive devotion to something, and I can really only think of a handful of things that I’ve ever spent 10,000 on. Swimming comes to mind, but having participated in exactly zero Olympics, I don’t know that I can quite claim expert status yet. When I look at my professional and personal lives, the theme of people seems to be my common thread, and I don’t have a hard time seeing myself as a people expert. Through all my years of volunteer management work, I’ve spent a long time listening to people, hearing what they really want and working to help make that happen. In my personal life, I take pride in being a friend to turn to for advice, comfort or a good laugh (all usually accompanied by a glass of wine). In both areas of my life, I want people to feel they are better off having spent time with me. That’s what drives me, and that’s what I continue to practice. 10,000 hours and counting. Where have you logged 10,000 hours?

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Book Reports

Mind Your Wake – Lessons from Uncontainable

I’m currently reading Uncontainable: How Passion, Commitment, and Conscious Capitalism Built a Business Where Everyone Thrives. Sure, it’s a long title, but I think it’s understandable, considering how much awesomeness comes out of The Container Store. (Seriously, that store is my happy place. It’s unreal how much joy those organizational opportunities bring to me!) Kip Tindell, Chairman and CEO, shares his philosophies on what’s made The Container Store so successful, as well as stories that make you think you’re reading about someone’s family rather than a large publicly traded company. While a little corny at times, there’s still a lot to be gained in what he has to say. Kip devotes most of the book to the Seven Foundation Principles, but what struck me most was the notion he shared about being mindful of our wake – what we leave behind us as we move forward.

Being mindful of our wake. It’s a powerful visual that reminds us we’re not here alone, and that like a boat, our presence and movements leave a trail behind us, whether we’re around to see it or not. It’s not uncommon to be reminded that our actions affect others, but this comparison to a boat specifically addresses what we leave behind us as we move on, which struck me as a profound reminder we perhaps need a little more often. Even once we’ve moved on – be it geography, career or relationships, or even just in our own thinking – we’ve created waves that still exist. But how big are those waves? When we’re out on the open water, we speed up, leaving great waves behind us, but as we get closer to land, we’re warned to slow down so our wake will not harm others. We don’t always have much control over reactions that happen after we’ve left, but there are certainly things we can do to affect how disruptive our presence is.

Clearly there are times in our lives when it’s acceptable and even fun to create a large wake behind us, while other times we need to move carefully, not damaging what’s around us. And it’s important to know the difference so we can be mindful of our wake. How are you mindful of what you leave behind?

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Book Reports

It Is What It Is…But It Doesn’t Have To Be

I finished John Kotter’s The Heart of Change, and one of the things I ended up enjoying most about it was the way real-life stories were used to drive home the theory of what he was saying. I suppose that’s not unexpected, coming from a book that encourages storytelling as one of the most powerful tools we have. One of the stories, however, stood out to me. The story centers around the manufacturing of airplanes – a large and complex task that involves many people. For years, the plane was assembled one station at the time, and if the parts weren’t at the appropriate station at the right time, they would be added at the end. This last step in the process would require the undoing and then redoing of anything that happened after the part was originally supposed to be added, which ended up costing time and money. The rationale was that delivery of the parts was out of the plant’s control, so there was nothing the manufacturer could do.

When a new CEO came on board, one of the first changes he made was to put an end to this process. He told the employees that the plane would not move down the assembly line until it was properly finished at each station. For so long, it had been deemed impossible for such a thing to happen and the inefficiency of the process had become accepted as the only way things could actually get done. However, the visual of the plane just sitting at one of the stations was a powerful motivator to change the way things were done. As people pushed suppliers and found different ways to work, a newer and more efficient way of assembling planes emerged.

I like this story because I think far too often we accept things the way they are and come to believe change isn’t possible. In this case, it was someone who questioned the process and used a powerful visual to make an impact. In my experience, I’ve found that sometimes simply asking the right question is enough to spark change. But most of all, we need to stop accepting frustration and inefficiency as the way things happen. Most people would prefer things were easier and less complicated to get done, so it’s not as hard a sell as we think it is. What’s getting in your way and keeping you from working more efficiently? What’s slowing you down and making life harder?

p.s. In addition to finishing The Heart of Change, I’ve also continued my Gillian Flynn kick and finished Dark Places. It’s a quick read if you’re looking for a dark story that keeps you guessing. Her Sharp Objects is up next for me, along with Uncontainable by Kip Tindell, Chairman & CEO of The Container Store. Will keep you posted!

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Book Reports

The Heart of Change

I’m in the process of working my way through John Kotter’s The Heart of Change as my school book of the moment. Kotter has studied large-scale change in organizations over several decades and he’s found the science to support what many of us have found in our daily experience: successful change doesn’t lie in impressively presented facts and figures, but rather in the ability to get people to change their behavior.

Not terribly shocking, but it does seem to go against everything we’re taught to do in our companies. Gather enough data, present compelling numbers and get the boss to approve it, and you’re good to go. That’s the typical approach to change. That’s probably also the reason our change efforts fail more often than they succeed. (Kotter’s research indicates that about 70% of large scale change efforts fail.) And despite what conventional wisdom may tell us about keeping our cool and keeping emotions out of it, Kotter’s research shows the exact opposite. Appealing to people’s hearts is the most effective way to get them to change their behavior. And changing individual behavior is the only real way to effect organizational change. He summarizes this method of change management to: “see, feel, change.” If you can present a compelling visual to people – either an actual visual representation of the challenge or a compelling story – you’ll get them to feel something about what they’ve experienced. And only through those feelings will the desire for change take root. Their feelings spur them to take action, and the desire for change comes from within them, rather than being pushed on them externally.

I’ve got about two-thirds of the book left to go, but much like Kotter’s research demands, he uses powerful stories to drive home his points, and I’m looking forward to experiencing the rest of them. In the meantime, what is your change story demanding to be told? And who needs to feel it with you?

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Book Reports

Yes Please!

Since I was just on vacation, I gave myself permission to stretch the rules on my school and non-school book rules (I know, I know…I just got started and I’m already bending the rules). For my non-school book, I just finished reading Gone Girl by Gillian Flynn (I think it’s possible I may have been the last person in the country to read it). Because I don’t have aspirations of being a murderer or framing anyone else for murder, I don’t know that I had a lot of personal takeaways from this story. I will say I liked that I wasn’t sure who to believe and the story kept me reading because I very much wanted to know what happened next. That, and I firmly believe in reading the book before seeing the movie (confession: I don’t actually see a lot of movies, so I guess I may just firmly believe in reading the book). But in case I find myself on a plane where they’re showing the movie or I decide to download it to take with me, I want to be prepared and have read the book so I know what’s going on in the movie.

My school book was Amy Poehler’s Yes Please. And before you chastise me and say this is a non-school book, hear me out. I love Amy Poehler and believe she has a lot to teach me. She is smart, funny, thoughtful and willing to share her true self with the world, and I admire all that. And obviously I can say these things because I know her – we totally hang out (confession: this is a lie, but maybe if I say it enough, it will become true). She has three parts to her book: Say Whatever You Want, Do Whatever You Like and Be Whoever You Are. And while some might argue that sounds selfish, it’s just not. Saying what you want, doing what you want and being who you are the only ways we can be our authentic selves. And our authentic selves are the only thing worth being and sharing with the world – anything else is just not worth the time and is too exhausting to keep up. I’ll probably have more to say about this book as we go on, but for now, I want to hear what you say and do that allows you to be whoever you are.

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Book Reports

Home and Away

I recently did a lot of traveling in a short time and realized I read a lot when I’m on the road. And I also realized I spend very little time reading when I’m at home. I’ve always liked reading, and it made me sad that I read less when I’m at home, so I’ve set out to change that. I’m committing to myself and you to always be reading at least two books at a time – one school book and one non-school book at a time (but not per week – let’s not go crazy. And a special shout if you now want to go watch Clueless.).

I want to share what I’m reading with you, not because I think I have amazing insights, but for two reasons. One, it will keep me honest and on top of things. It’s not going to be impressive when I’ve been reading the same book for 37 weeks. Two, I’m about as true an extrovert as you can get and I’m simply incapable of processing anything internally. So thanks for letting me process with you – my husband will appreciate a break from my stream of consciousness. [Note: Lest I cast him as a cartoon version of our relationship, with me constantly babbling and him sighing and rolling his eyes at me, he’s a VERY patient conversational partner and usually only rolls his eyes at me if I have it coming. I’m just saying.]