Tag: Career

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Ashley On the Job

Email Hell

You guys, I’ve had writer’s block. What makes it so awful is I’m not even a writer! How can this be?! I mean, I like to think I’m sort of an amateur writer with a few decent stories to tell, but this level of avoidance and frustration is out of hand. (Bless you, real writers.)

A few weeks ago I started a new gig. I’m going out on a limb here, but I’d say in the last three weeks, I’ve received double – maybe triple – the typical number of emails in my work inbox. (Eek!) I started thinking that maybe my desire to write is being hindered by the amount of work-related writing I’m currently on the hook for. Basically, work email is trumping my communication priorities. At this point, I’m so desperate to not email that I have tried to solve a good portion of the email questions/proposals I receive with a phone call or an in-person chat. (And “chat” should be used loosely…we all know those are turning into meetings.)

Luckily, I like to read and have a metro commute of decent length that allows for some quick wins in my day. (Flipboard has been super awesome for streamlining the content input in my life.) Last week, I ran across this FastCo article, “How Email Became the Most Reviled Communication Experience Ever.” Warning: they used an over-abundance of obnoxious GIFs in the article, so read with caution. And to save you from losing your lunch trying to read between those GIFs, I’ll boil it down to the bad news, folks: We tried to make email do everything and now it’s not exceptionally good at anything. To make matters worse, we’re pretty much neurochemically compelled to check our email…on the chance that there’s something critical this time.

The article was a timely read since I’m implementing new project management processes for a team in need of major process improvement as part of their product deliverables. The team is actually giving some of the tools highlighted in the article a shot and testing for comfort levels and usability. I’m hoping we can find just a few tools that can begin to replace the functions that people have turned to email for…and hopefully I can get back to writing about things I love and things that inspire me. In the meantime, if you need me, I’ll be digging out of email hell.

– Ashley Respecki

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Karen On the Job

Human Engagement is Good Business

Karen - EngagementI’m concerned.

I strongly believe businesses that provide any type of service need to be continually trained on how to interact with humans.

Providing extraordinary service and excellent human engagement is electric! It’s contagious. It’s vibrant. Why are companies compromising this business principle?

You don’t want people to respond negatively to your company. Trust me. That is baaaaaaad for biz’niz.

Do you know why companies are missing the mark? They don’t think Human Engagement is a topic that requires training throughout the entire organization.

I was fortunate to participate in a customer service training program from one of the world’s finest service industries: The Disney Institute. There’s a reason they’re larger than life. If your company is bringing in billions, well then, stop reading this post right now and go eat some pizza and have a latte.

The Disney Company is determined to exceed your expectations at all times. This is good. Very good. More than good. Outstanding. A non-negotiable and the only way to be. Adopt this approach and you will see growth.

Here’s the famous question that many companies are addressing: Why is revenue down?

  1. Check out the inner-workings of your company – not the peripheral! See it as a rock thrown into water. The place it lands has the greatest impact; from there the ripple effects extend. Start where the rock lands. How extraordinary is your internal infrastructure? Does it exceed the expectations of your employees? If not, then you have a problem.
  2. The problem is not ‘out there.’ We are too quick to critique our “field workers” – our lovely comrades who are interacting with the external realms that draw in new and fresh business. They are not the problem. I repeat: they are NOT the problem. If you start with the customer’s wallet, then you will not succeed. Whether the external customers choose your company or not is not the problem. That is merely the symptom. The root problem starts in the internal infrastructure. In other words, the problem begins with the DNA. Get the DNA back on track, and you’ll get the ripple effect you desire.
  3. Train how people serve within your company. How do you enhance human engagement? Train. Re-train. Train again. Train some more. Train, equip, and train, train, train. Where do you start? Ask for help!

The good news? It’s a small fixable problem that produces a big impact. Human Engagement rocks! (no pun intended.)

– Karen Thrall

*also published on www.karenthrall.com

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On the Job

Feedback: The Ultimate Gift

Last week, I had the chance to lead a session on feedback. I was particularly looking forward to this discussion because the team had selected feedback as one of four issues they wanted to cover during the year for their professional development together. I love that they opted to spend their time on the topic because it can be such a tricky subject and many people prefer to just shy away from it (or rely on the feedback sandwich. Don’t even get me started there…). But this team was willing – and excited! – to put their time and resources into learning more about giving and receiving feedback with the goal of strengthening their team.

We spent some time going over the basics, establishing common language and talking through a few tools that can be used in both giving and receiving feedback, but my favorite part was how engaged they were when it came time for questions and discussion. I was impressed with the level of candor and trust among the group. It was clear they had some shared experiences where honest feedback could be helpful, especially with their external clients, and they were willing to dig into those issues. This team had created an environment where it was okay to talk about the scary parts of feedback – when your emotions come out your eyeballs, for instance. And they not only asked for my advice and experience, but wanted to hear from their colleagues as well on what had worked for them, or how they might handle a particular situation.

At the end of the session, we practiced feedback in the form of session evaluations. 100% of the team said the session was worth their time, which was the best feedback I could have asked for. They were also generous with what they liked and what worked well for them as participants, as well as aspects that could be improved. Yes, I was there to help guide them through a conversation about feedback, but the feedback they provided to me in the form of their active participation and thoughtful evaluations is a gift for which I’m truly grateful. I can’t think of anything more valuable than someone making time to share their insights with you in the form of feedback. How cool is that?

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Inside My Head

What’s Your Main Goal?

When I first launched Good for the Soul, a very good friend asked me a question. She said, “What’s your main goal?” Her question took me a bit by surprise since I though the way I’d branding my type of consulting was pretty clear. The more I thought about it, however, the more her question was brilliant. Yes, I wanted to focus on areas most interesting to me. Sure, I’d like to make a living through that focus. And I really wanted to help people tackle problems, grow more confident and have fun along the way. But mostly, really and truly, I wanted to work with people I liked. I wanted to surround myself with people I enjoy most – people who are smart, creative, empathetic, driven, funny, introspective, positive and passionate. I wanted to pick the clients with whom I work and have the final say in who carries my brand. I wanted to work with people I liked.

We spend so much time with work and at work. We spend a good chunk of the hours we’re awake with these people. Why spend so much time working with people we don’t like? I’ve been fortunate enough to make good friends at every place I’ve worked. Sure, there are lots of people with whom I’m friendly, but I’m talking about the people you bring into your life outside of work – the people with whom you stay in touch long after neither one of you work at the organization where your paths crossed. These are the people I like and the people with whom I want to work on a regular basis.

Someone once told me you shouldn’t ever have a team member who you wouldn’t have over to your house for dinner. While perhaps somewhat difficult to describe in a job posting (“Must be willing to come over for dinner and not care that I’ve ordered in and not cooked – trust me, we’ll all be happier”), I think there’s something to this. And to be clear, this isn’t the the same as only having people on your team who think like you do. A good, spirited debate can be just as fun as banding together to slam the newest political foe. It’s not about whether or not we agree on everything – it’s about whether or not you have my back and I have yours. We trust each other, value similar things and are willing to work towards them together. Those are the people I want to have over for dinner. And the people I want to surround me at work, too. With an amazing group of people like that, we can figure out the rest together. That’s my main goal.

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Inside My Head Karen

What I’ve Learned From My Favorite Leaders

Karen LeadershipI found a journal entry I wrote in May, 2010 on the topic of leadership.

“One thing I really believe to be foundational…I believe the best leaders do not have an agenda for power; they have an agenda to believe in something greater than themselves. To me, for someone to lead in that way says they are a person of hope, of assurance, of purpose. They are living. Alive! They are inclusive. Because to believe in something greater than one’s self requires people. And people matter. And people’s contributions matter. And people’s voices and input and partnership and gifts..matter. Everyone matters. Everyone truly, truly matters.”

That was five years ago.

Here’s what I’ve learned from some of my favorite leaders. What I’ve admired about them, and therefore long to emulate:

  • The best leaders choose kindness first.
  • The best leaders remain a learner always.
  • The best leaders are devoted to seeing what can’t be seen.
  • The best leaders are incapable of quitting even if they really want to.
  • The best leaders will curiously listen and engage with all ages, all cultures, and all walks of life.
  • The best leaders practice the principle of the “good faith handshake” regardless if others do or not. They will do what they say.
  • The best leaders are honest and pursue character and good repute as a lifestyle.
  • The best leaders offer the gift of mutual respect and human dignity.
  • The best leaders would rather risk failing than to not try and be left always wondering.
  • The best leaders will take responsibility rather than project blame.
  • The best leaders carry an inner confidence and a quiet humility.
  • The best leaders are not afraid to express their vulnerability.
  • The best leaders display on-going gratitude because they know that some of their success is simply “luck” – being in the right place at the right time.

I closed my journal entry with this comment:

And… I’ve also observed that the best leaders can be some of the loneliest people on this planet. They’ve accepted this as part of their journey. Albert Einstein shares his vulnerability when he writes, “It is strange to be known so universally and yet to be so lonely.”

– Karen Thrall

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Awesomeness in the World Karen

I Need Your Help

We have the right to be nourished. It’s a phrase that is used in one of our seminars. It’s one of five developmental stages that shapes who we become as adults.

I was on a business trip in Boston, visiting the Fluevog team. It was during an autumn month. I flew in and went straight to the store, with my carry-on and computer bag.

Pete, one of the Fluevogologists, was outside sweeping the steps.

P: “Hey Karen! Welcome back!”

K: “Thanks Pete! It’s great to be back.”

P: “Can I help you with your suitcase?”

K: “No that’s ok. I can do it.”

Wait. Pause. Hold on a minute!

Why won’t I let him help me with my suitcase?

I’m in heels, the steps are steep, the suitcase is heavy – why the bleep would I not ask for help? Because I can manage this suitcase myself. I don’t need help. I’m self-made. I’m independent. I’ve come this far on my own, why would I need help now?

Oh my.

Reload, KT. Reload.

K: “Pete, yes I would love your help. Thanks.”

Pete grabs my suitcase and we walk down the steps together.

P: “Look who just showed up!”

And with that announcement, Fluevog’s finest welcome greeted me upon entering. Ahhhh, good to be back in Boston.

In our western culture, where independence and self-made principles are imbedded into our DNA, no wonder we have lost the art of asking for help.

When’s the last time you said, “I need your help”

It’s a constant reminder in my life. It’s easy to resist help. It’s easy to talk myself out of needing help. But I don’t want to be that kind of person. I want to be human. Humans need humans.

I took my bike to Performance Bicycle on Sorrento Valley Road (which was in pieces due to my road trip from Vancouver to San Diego). I own a Brodie Cuda 29er. Sweet front suspension mountain bike.

Karen bikeI walked in and said, “Hi. I need your help.”

Jason replies, “What can we do for you? We’re here to help.”

K: “My bike is in pieces. Can you reassemble it and air the tires so I can get it back in the trails?”

J: “We absolutely can do that for you.”

I could have reassembled it myself but it would have taken me far too long, in comparison to these pros that have all the gadgets and equipment and skill! And besides, they’d do a way better job than I would!

Asking for someone’s help is part of being human. It’s part of being in community. It’s part of belonging. It’s part of excellent camaraderie. It’s part of healthy relationships. From a professional point of view, it’s also good business.

Why have we stopped asking? What presuppositions have we distorted about the phrase, “I need your help.”

I have a request: I’d like you to ask for help once a day for the next fourteen days. Keep track of the responses. Let me know what happens: me[at]karenthrall.com I’d love to hear about it. If you’re the only one giving, it’s up to you to change that. How? You can start with, “I need your help.”

– Karen Thrall

 * also published on www.karenthrall.com

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Ashley Career

Fear and Desire

As a twenty something, I feel very safe about my life decisions so far. I went to college in my home state, and I applied to grad school and ended up staying at Ball State University after undergrad because it was “free” (tuition reimbursement and a stipend ﹘ can’t beat it). My husband was the one who encouraged me to apply for jobs in February of our final year of grad school, in the heart of thesis projects. It paid off and I found a dream job in a city I longed to live in; it was a package I couldn’t refuse. But truth be told, despite working my butt off these past four years, it’s all been pretty comfortable.

When things get a little too comfortable and/or boring, it’s probably a sign that you’ve been playing it safe for some time. This week, I begin a new job within the organization I currently work for. This will truly be a career shift and is an opportunity to grow skill sets in areas of business I’ve been drawn to since I began my career. I’m incredibly excited about what this new opportunity means for me personally, but I’m most looking forward to the impact I can make within the organization.

But, truth is, although I’m ready to shake things up, I haven’t been so confident about the new role until recently. When I was first approached about the opportunity, I was feeling inadequate and questioned how I could possibly be the right fit for this type of role. (And then Catherine plopped a great article in front of me about how women don’t express their value and exude confidence about their skill set the way men do… go figure.) Once things moved forward, I became pretty terrified by what this change would mean. It wasn’t a new sensation; I’ve been afraid of change for as long as I can remember, though as I age, the degree of fear has lessened substantially. Then I was reading an article where a young female entrepreneur was sharing career advice about how you should be more excited about a new opportunity than you fear it. At that moment I thought, “bingo!” – that’s exactly how I feel.

I’m so excited about this change that any nerves and fears associated with what’s to come have subsided dramatically. I’ve replaced insecurity with desire and determination to succeed. If you’re ever fearful of a new endeavor, I hope you will also take inventory of your emotions and see if excitement is ready to overtake any fear or anxiety clouding your visions of success.

– Ashley Respecki

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Career Libby

Innovation

I attended a program on innovation last week. The speaker was Frans Johannson; he was really compelling. He talked about how innovation is all about intersections – the places where diverse thoughts/industries/paradigms come together. He was able to show how insects can influence architecture and Martin Luther King Jr. has an influence on techno music. It is the surprise factor that makes an idea exciting, and it is diversity that drives innovation.

Now, I have a lot of work-related ideas, many of which are interesting and a few of which are innovative. On one hand we are encouraged to be creative and try new things; on the other, we are hog-tied by something ironically called our “innovation process” – it is a cumbersome methodology designed to ensure that ideas are carefully thought out, the ROI is quantified, the budget is laid out, staff hours are accounted for, etc. All of this sounds perfectly reasonable and logical, and it also effectively kills innovation. It’s a very frustrating place in which to live…I’d really like to innovate the New Product Development process into obsolescence. One of the other things Johannson shared with us is that if we want to innovate, we need to do something, do anything. We may fail, but at least we tried and now we know more than we did before. If the “process” for innovation is to stop failure before it’s tried, there’s no way to try. If you really want to innovate, you need to think in surprising ways, allowing room for trying and subsequently learning from mistakes – with truly unexpected ideas, you can’t possibly know in advance how it’s all going to turnout! Creativity is not a linear process, it is messy and dirty and accidental and fun. To me, rules and frameworks are akin to professional fear…maybe the whole thing will be found lacking and then what? You better innovate your resume…

– Libby Bingham

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Career Karen

Confrontation: Deal with it now or deal with it later

One of my favorite seminars to facilitate deals with the topic of confrontation. We begin with a few general characteristics that typically surface and the participants choose which they prefer: deal with it now or deal with it later. Now the dialogue begins!

In small groups they tackle seven questions, one at a time. The first question is “What do you value most about how you deal with confrontation and conflict?” When they’ve answered the first question, they share the bullet points in the larger forum. They continue on to the second question, “What don’t you like about how the other group deals with confrontation and conflict?” We continue with this format, each question propelling us forward, until we’ve completed the exercise.

We end with a debrief and open conversations. The atmosphere is vibrant! The honesty and transparency is electric! Why? Because the safety to process how we function in unexpected turbulence is valuable.

Many times confrontation and conflict take us by surprise and our emotions are not prepared for this kind of disruption. We need these training opportunities to develop the skill of conflict resolve. I sure do!

Conflict surrounds us on a daily basis. We deal with unsettling moments every day: spilling coffee on your shirt; a traffic jam; a curt email; a rushed meeting; a crowded street; a crying child; the dog made a mess in your kitchen; tripping on a step – you get the idea! And these are the easy ones. The hard ones are when our emotions are heightened and we need to communicate. Sometimes we avoid communicating, hoping it will go away. By avoiding the confrontation, we are left battling disappointment, frustration and anger internally. That takes up a lot of energy.

Learn to communicate well in confrontation. Become an expert. The outcome? You’ll sleep better at night.

Okay, your turn! How do you deal with confrontation?

NOW:  “Let’s deal with this now.”

  • Let’s get it all out on the table and we’ll work through it.
  • If we say anything wrong, we’ll apologize.
  • Let’s not have anything between us.
  • We need to resolve this and not let time lapse.

LATER: “Let’s deal with this later.”

  • Let me think through how I’m feeling before I tell you.
  • I don’t want to say anything that I’ll regret later.
  • My mind is blank and I don’t know what to say.
  • I want to resolve, but I need to figure out what to resolve first.

Emotions play a big part in how well we can resolve conflict. Knowing what works for you to get the Best You to show up is vital to conflict resolution. If you need time to think and formulate your thoughts, take the time. If you need to get it out of your system so it doesn’t fester, get it out. The tricky part is “How?”

Are you in any type of conflict now? Is there a situation with a colleague or a loved one that has unsettled you? First, choose either the stance of Deal With It Now or Deal With It Later. Which one best describes you (normally)? Now, state your value.

“I need to talk about this right away so it doesn’t build up. I want to resolve this. Silence doesn’t work well for me. When are you free to chat?” The hard part for Now People is waiting for the right time to talk. They speak too soon, thus, their energy gets misinterpreted as aggression.

“I need time to think. My thoughts are blank. I want to resolve this, but I need to figure out what to say first. How much time can I have before we chat?” The hard part for Later People is they let too much time lapse and end up never speaking up. Their lack of energy gets misinterpreted as passive aggression.

If you are in leadership, you are trained to deal with matters quickly and efficiently.  But which group is the real you? Pick one, and then become extraordinarily dazzling at it. Become an expert conflict resolver as a Now or as a Later. Develop your skill. And watch conflict diffuse effortlessly.

– Karen Thrall

*also published on www.karenthrall.com

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On the Job

On the Road: Is It Worth It?

When technology rules and there are seemingly endless ways to keep in touch (or distract ourselves!), is meeting face to face less important? As I write this, my bags are packed, and I’m en route to Atlanta, where nearly 20,000 professionals from the architectural, engineering and construction industries will come together for the next three to four days. There will be hundreds of education sessions, evening events and opportunities to informally connect while we take over the city of Coke, CNN and inspiring leadership lessons from Martin Luther King, Jr. and President Jimmy Carter.

But do we really need to be physically together in the same space? We’ve got email, conference calls, video chat, Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter, to keep us connected in our homes and offices. We’ve also got commitments like jobs, families, friends, and budgets that make travel more challenging and increase the appeal of those electronic connections even more. And while all of that is true, and it is easier to keep in touch than ever, I absolutely think there’s still value in being face to face, and in the case of a large convention like this, being part of something bigger than yourself.

We so easily get bogged down in the day to day and promise to catch up with friends and colleagues later. But later keeps getting pushed further and further away as the urgent drowns out the important. Sure, the education and keynote sessions at a conference like this are great (I sure hope so, since Karen and I are leading one!), but the real magic happens between the attendees. Sure, that can be during a session, but it’s also in the hallway, during lunch, over a cocktail or two or even bumping into someone from the same conference out and about enjoying the host city. There’s something incredibly powerful in getting out from behind your desk and daily routine, and taking a moment to connect with someone else who does what you do and giving yourself permission to focus on your own growth for a minute or two.

When is the last time you unplugged and met a friend, family member or colleague for some face time and did yourself a favor in the meantime?