Author: catherinewemette

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Inside My Head Melissa

Being Present

I wanted my first post to be good, honest, and something you’d like to read, but last week held a lot of events that even when written down and made flashy with em dashes and explanation points ended up being not very good at all. The phrase “Should I write about this?” has been said multiple times over the past week, but my mind has been elsewhere, too foggy to concentrate on that question. I’ve been constantly going over the to-do list in my head and adding new bullets and pushing other “to-dos” further into the future.

“Why don’t you write about that?” The “that” in that question is the list I made late last week, which was not a to-do list or not intended to be a to-do list, but a things-I-absolutely-need-to-be-happier list. This list included everything from “I need to be more self-confident” to “I need to buy a vacuum” (really opening up to myself on that last one, I know).

Perhaps it’s the endlessness of summer heat, but I am having a hard time staying present and it’s wearing on me. I am overwhelmed, I have a pinch of sadness, and I am desperately looking forward to October – a month that currently has few to-dos.

There’s something about the DC humidity that causes me, in very real and very inconvenient ways, to lose my mind. I find it hard to focus. I get easily upset about minor things. I cram too much into every day, or I do nothing at all. It’s a challenge to stay present – to hear stories, to remember conversations, to appreciate sensations: sights and touches, the heat of a September afternoon.

My roommate, Ben, came home last week to find me mid list making and close to tears. He had work to do and I had a to-do list that felt miles long, but instead, we went for a walk. We left the apartment with no destination and ended up getting ice cream.

“Can you believe,” I said “with everything we have to do tonight, we’re doing this?”

I took a spoonful. It was a flavor made with spices and the man behind the counter had informed me that despite being cold, it would taste scalded.

I ate for a moment, and thought. I closed my eyes. I lost myself in the act of tasting, which, for only a moment, seemed to require my full attention.

“Are you getting it?” Ben asked.

I looked up. Yes, I said, I was.

– Melissa Grant

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Awesomeness in the World Karen

What are Your Non-Negotiables?

I’ve been thinking about my line of work and what makes me so unbelievably passionate about what I do. As I reflect, there are four non-negotiables that are important to me when working with teams, leaders and organizations. I’d like to share them with you.

  1. PEOPLE: People Matter. Right now, right here, you and/or your team are all that matter to me. I listen: intently. I’m captivated by every word you say. Your words, how you think, how you process, how you strategize, how you lead – it all matters. And I have all the time in the world for you. When I went through therapy several years ago, we were limited on time. The last 10 minutes of the counseling session I’d begin to shut off. I was aware that we were coming to the end. People need time.
  2. HEART: The heart of your business/organization/leadership matters. It was passion that started you on your path. You were full of vision, enthusiasm, confidence, hope, determination, tenacity, and courage. It’s important that this never be compromised; that the richest qualities you and/or your team possess remain strong and unwavering. It is humans that are leading organizations. It is humans that are living their lives. It is humans to whom I am committed.
  3. UNDER-PROMISE: My on-going commitment is to under-promise. I often ask myself, “what would I want?” This is an important question because it keeps the focus on your success. By keeping this question in the forefront of my mind, my hope is that I will deliver outcomes that exceed your expectations.
  4. AVAILABLE: At any time, we’ll explore whatever potential worries, stresses and uncertainties that may arise that could thwart your progress. At any time, I will be your sounding board and help you process any hurdles you may come across so you can resolve issues and frustrations quickly. At any time, I will facilitate any brainstorming or strategic thinking that you require. At any time, I am available to help formulate tasks and timelines to make sure the ball keeps rolling. At any time, I will coach your processes so that they’re executed exactly the way you want it; the way you like it; and the way you need it. At any time, I will help resolve unsettledness, conflict or misunderstandings. At any time, I am here for you. Period. I will support you…. at any time.

What are your non-negotiables? What is the contribution you bring to your work that is vital to the team’s success? Where do you shine? What matters to you? Which or your skills have you invested in? What are your work principles? Why are you valuable?

– Karen Thrall

*also published on www.karenthrall.com

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Melissa New Friends

Introducing Melissa Grant

I’m so impressed by this woman. Melissa is the definition of wise beyond her years. Like most of us, she’s figuring out her way in the world, but is doing so in a way that makes me think there’s an amazing soundtrack playing in her head. She’s caring, positive and taking in everything around her. She has an amazing ability to prioritize the million things coming at her and get her business handled – and I mean handled. If you ask her to do it, it’s done, and that seems to be an increasingly rare quality these days. I met Melissa a little more than a year ago, and one of the things that first drew me to her was her desire to help people. She and I share a passion for outstanding customer service and delight in the ability to meet a need and go the extra mile. Whether it’s a design client or someone looking for that perfect outfit, Melissa will make sure you are well taken care of. I’m thrilled she’s open to sharing her musings with us here in our Creative Community, and I can’t wait for us to get a glimpse into her world.

Melissa_Grant_2
Melissa Grant (Malbec and ukulele not pictured)

Hi! I’m Melissa, nice to meet you. I am delighted to be here and to get a chance to share a few of things that cross my consciousness every week.

I’m a designer at The American Institute of Architects (where I met Catherine and Ashley!) and I’m a part-time sales associate at Anthropologie. Since moving to DC in 2013, I’ve found new homes and new friends, eaten my weight in happy hour appetizers, watched friends fall, (and have fallen myself). I’ve teetered and tottered, failed, and taken flight. I’ve learned (and am still learning) to embrace the discomfort and uncertainty of growing up. I’ve gotten better at learning my character flaws and not so much better at fixing them but I’m trying! Overall, it’s been an exciting, albeit-scary-but-mostly-happy journey.

I’m looking forward to telling stories here, posting a little about art and other curiosities, but mostly, I’m looking forward to being honest, to getting things out of my head, and to sharing.

On a personal note:

Star sign / Taurus

Personality characteristics / Optimistic, superstitious, silly

Current hobbies / Playing the ukulele and taking German I at George Washington University

Drink of choice / Malbec (in the evening of course)

I’m so glad I’m here. Thank you for reading.

– Melissa Grant

Categories
Awesomeness in the World

Workplace Unicorn Sighting!

We all know you’re not supposed to judge a book by its cover, but I’m not immune to judging an article or post by its title, and I was absolutely going to click on “11 Signs You’re the Workplace Unicorn.” Amazing. I love the thought of a workplace unicorn in the first place, but 11 signs that I could actually be one? Magical!

When I was talking about this with my husband, he questioned the unicorn. “So you’d be a mythical creature who doesn’t actually exist?” he asked. I chose to go with a loser, less strict interpretation of unicorn – a rare and amazing creature, sought be everyone. And if you look long enough and believe hard enough, you might just find it.

With that in mind, I’ll admit to feeling a little sad that the behaviors and actions listed here are associated with rare (okay, okay…mythical) creatures. Things like sharing credit and making others look good should be what we all strive to do. And anticipating needs of your boss and colleagues? That just makes my life easier, too! While some may argue that a few of these 11 signs (suggestions?) are too touchy-feely and don’t belong in the workplace, I beg to differ. I firmly believe that the more we care about each other at work, the more successful our companies and organizations will be. The more invested I am in my colleagues, the more invested I am in coming to work and enjoying my time here. And the more I enjoy my time at work, the more productive I’ll be and you’ll hear me at those networking events talking about how much I love my job.

So go on…be rare and amazing. Prove the haters wrong and show them that workplace unicorns are totally a real thing.

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Career Libby

Be a Rockstar

As I write this, I sit in the common area of my son’s music school, the School of Rock. There’s a video of various student performances playing, a private lesson or two going on in the rooms behind me, teens plucking away on their guitars while they hang out eating snacks and my son’s “band” doing their best to rock Seven Nation Army – cacophony! But amazing – how many of you are brave enough to get in front of an audience – even a small one – and do something that you’re not 100% sure that you’re terrific at? And you’re only seven, or eleven or fourteen? It’s pretty impressive, isn’t it? I’m inspired to think about how we can all be rockstars at work:

  1. Try. As we get older, we sometimes forget to try something new – it’s too embarrassing to take a crack at a presentation or the creation of a program description without being sure that we’ll succeed. You know what? It’s still okay to try. What’s the worst that can happen? You’ll still have your day job!
  2. Take a back seat. This is a strange one if I’m telling you how to be a rockstar, but letting other people shine is what makes a really good band. By allowing your own talents to support someone else’s makes everyone better – just as Jon Bon Jovi would be nothing without Richie Sambora or Steven Tyler just odd looking without Joe Perry, your CSE or boss is nothing without your kicka** talents and efforts at budgeting, marketing or meeting planning. Own your place in the band.
  3. Rock your solo. When it actually becomes time for you to take your solo, go for it – Angus Young it on the floor, freak out like Flea, channel Neal Pert – and give it your all. Don’t phone it in, really make it count: prepare, practice and crush it.
  4. Practice. Despite various mythologies and seven year old fantasies, no real rockstar ever made it by just picking up a guitar and starting to play – it takes years of practice, hours of repetitive exercises and the like. If you’re new to the game, respect your elders – they’ve been doing scales and chord work for a long time…you can learn something from them. And you who have been at it a while – doing the road tours and setting up your own gigs – don’t forget what it’s like to have a fire in your belly; give them some space to try (see numbers 1 and 2).
  5. Have fun. Some of us have Very Important Jobs. Some have less cachet. But we all have people depending on us to perform some duty and we’ll all do better if we’re having fun while we’re doing it. You know those bands that totally gel? The ones who have been together forever? It’s mostly because they’re having fun. You should too – the band will be stronger for it!

– Libby Bingham

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Career Karen

Frustration is the Opportunity to Reinvent

Frustration is an indicator that what is going on in your life or at work is simply not “good enough.” It’s the opportunity to re-think and re-invent how you do what you do, why you do what you do, how you think, how you perceive and how you will move forward.

A phrase I say often in coaching is, “What are you going to do about it?”

Frustration is an indicator that something indeed needs to be done. Whether it’s a conversation, a plan of action, a new goal or a different perspective, something needs to be done.

Frustration = Opportunity.

Frustration = Something more and something better.

Frustration = Change, adjustment

Frustration = A sign that it’s time to reinvent!

Note the word “reinvent.” Not all change is dramatic or drastic. Not all change is cut and dry. And not all change requires you to choose between options. Often, change is as simple as a reinvention of your life.

For example, a New Year’s Resolution is not about dramatic change; it’s usually associated with incremental change; an adjustment to how we live or view our lives.

In the business world, frustration is good news! It is a barometer on how a company moves forward. When frustration hits, stop! Evaluate. Assess. Analyze. Examine. Explore. Get feedback. Research. Find out more information. In other words, do something about it!

Create a think tank or have a group of friends over and begin to address the area of frustration you and/or your organization is experiencing.

We are to move through frustration, not settle for it.

– Karen Thrall

*also published on www.karenthrall.com

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Libby On the Job

There’s No Place Like Home!

Earlier this week, I arrived home after almost one month away from home.* I’ve lived overseas before and I’m not afraid of a road trip or extended vacation, but this time, coming home was even sweeter than it usually is. I’ve been thinking all day about what the difference is and I’ve come up with this:

  1. Routine. As an adult with a family, routine is the thing that makes it all work (relatively) smoothly – without routine, things are a lot more difficult! I loved the variety of family cultures we experienced on our trip, but I missed mine. At work, routine is the thing that can help keep the train from going off the track – if you have a routine, getting thrown that last minute project won’t generate as much angst.
  2. Familiar responses. While I know all the folks we stayed with, there were still times I was unsure of the best way to approach a subject or answer a question about politics or other delicate topics. It’s nice to be at home where I can speak my mind and not worry about whether or not my husband is going to have an adverse reaction to some statement I make. At work, it’s nice to know who your go-to co-workers are, that you have to give the marketing team chocolate if you want something done faster, that the facilities folks love your jokes or that a burger and beer can move your IT project to the top of the list!
  3. Showering is better at home. Actually, there were some places that had much nicer showers, and some that did not. It wasn’t the actual shower, but it was nice to be able to take it whenever I want without worrying about interfering with someone else’s routine or using up the hot water or not having access to all my lotions and potions. At work, it’s nice to have your own space where you know where everything is and you know how everything works – even with a wonky computer or printer, you know how to make it work like the Fonz, and that makes you a hero.
  4. My stuff. Oh, I brought plenty with me (too much, my husband would say) and I didn’t really miss anything I left home, but when I got back, I was just happy to see my stuff. My son spent several hours getting reacquainted with his stuff, checking out books, baseball equipment, rocks and Pokemon cards. He is delighted to just see his stuff again. At work, your “stuff” are all your projects – papers you have written, documents you’ve created, clients you’ve helped – it’s nice to reminisce a little bit and get reacquainted with your past accomplishments. They’ve helped you get where you are; they may also inspire a fresh perspective or creative idea.
  5. Sleeping is important. I had some VERY comfortable sleeping arrangements on this trip, but I was awoken more than I am at home. My son was often in another room with other kids and in the middle of the night, he’d get freaked out or have a little asthma attack or just miss me, so he’d come to visit. Vacationing and working at the same time is hard to do, but doing it with interrupted sleep was extra tough. There were many nights when I was going to come back to hang out with the adults after bedtime but I usually ended up falling asleep. At work, it is important to get rest – don’t be a martyr! If you’re tired from being the first one in and the last one out, you’re probably not doing your best work. Be kind to yourself – take a break, get some good sleep, live your life. It’ll all be there tomorrow after you’ve gotten some quality shut-eye.

*Thanks to all my family and friends (who are like family) who hosted me and Joey – we loved seeing you and spending time together…it was a terrific experience for both of us. You’re welcome here any time!

– Libby Bingham

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Awesomeness in the World

The Thing That Only You Can Do

I was having lunch with a friend recently and she was telling me about a new coach she was using – for her dating life. I admit, this was the first time I’d heard of a dating coach, but the more I think about it, the more I love the concept. I fully believe in career coaching and personal training, and that doesn’t even get into the other areas of expertise I need in my life. I find value in doctors, attorneys, plumbers, landscapers, movers, designers…why would a dating coach be any different? We can all learn something from someone who has devoted their life to a specialty that’s different than ours.

I had a boss in my past who used to say “do the thing that only you can do,” and it’s a piece of advice that’s stuck with me. While I would like to think I’m well-rounded, I can’t possibly be good at everything. Or even most things. Realistically, I can discover and select a few things and do them exceptionally well and leave the rest to other folks. It relates back to the concept of spending 10,000 hours on something before we can be considered an expert at it. We can’t possibly spend 10,000 on very many things, so it only makes sense to look to the people who have spent 10,000 hours in an area where we need help.

Even if we don’t have 10,000 hours logged yet, we can still be on the lookout for the things that only we can do. At work, there may be a meeting that only I can lead. That means someone else can wrap up the report. Maybe only I can sort through and organize my closet, but maybe someone else can make the donation run afterwards. And perhaps I’m the only one who can be that shoulder to cry on and we’ll let someone else take care of dinner tonight.

What’s your thing that only you can do?

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Career

Starting Over

A friend of mine recently shared a LinkedIn post with me, “Competition can copy everything but not your culture.” While there are definitely some good reminders about creating and strengthening your culture in here, both of us were intrigued by one specific suggestion:

Keep disrupting your own organisation structure. An interesting exercise which we do is assume all of us got fired one day, and someone with no emotion of the past was re-building our team based on where we are today. It is amazing how many insights come out of this exercise, and while no one actually gets fired, many of the organisation’s priorities evolve in a refreshing way.

What a fascinating idea. If we could detach ourselves from the knowledge of how things came to be, would we make the same decisions? So often we get attached to structure and roles because that’s just how things are. We end up with workarounds or solutions that are almost right because we’re too focused on keeping things the way they are because that’s the way we do things.

While I think we might lose a lot if we regularly fired everyone and started from scratch, the idea itself of staring over can be very freeing. Not only can organizations get stale, but we can get stale. Does there continue to be a need for the service or product we provide in the way we provide it? What needs might we anticipate now that we couldn’t have dreamed up five or ten years ago? Is there a way I could better be utilizing my skills? How has our organization grown since we last evaluated? How have I grown? What could I share that maybe I couldn’t have a few years ago? What if our organizational politics didn’t exist?

Whether it’s your work structure or the way you’ve structured your personal life, what would you do if you were starting from the beginning?

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Inside My Head Karen

Three Ways to Find Peace Before Your Day Begins

Karen Peace
Photo by Demi DeHerrera

Although there are many methods, I want to touch on three practical and effective ways to invite a peaceful environment into your life before your day begins.

With these three steps, you will start your day peacefully and keep that need to hurry to a minimal.

  1. Be aware of how you wake up. Stay clear of the need to rush-out-of-bed. Why do you need to rush out of bed? Don’t do that. Get out of bed slowly, which confirms a relaxed state. Enjoy the feeling of waking up slowly.
  1. Be aware of how fast you walk. From the moment you wake up to the moment you arrive at work, or getting your kids to school, slow down your pace. Walk slower and let all and any of your movements be at a slower pace.
  1. Be aware of your breathing and the speed of your voice. In your mornings, keep track of when you’re holding your breath while thinking or doing something; and talk slowly and quietly. Imagine speaking in an art gallery or watching a sunset.

Guaranteed, these three simple tips will create a bigger space in your morning for peace.

– Karen Thrall

*also published on www.karenthrall.com