Tag: Motivation

Categories
Jams

Sit Still, Look Pretty

It’s been a while since I’ve written about my jams, which is probably because it’s been a while since one has taken hold in my head. At a recent third birthday party, the guest of honor’s mother asked if I’d heard Sit Still, Look Pretty and played it for me. I’d heard it once, but hadn’t paid much attention it. She asked because it seemed her two kids – 9 and 3 – and I seemed to typically like the same music and this was their latest fav (we’ll just leave that comment about the comparison of my musical taste alone…).

It’s got such a catchy whistle intro that you can’t help but get hooked. And the chorus is almost enough to unseat my tried and true at-bat song. I’ve been struggling a bit with motivation recently and there’s nothing quite like a good pick-me-up jam to remind me of my plans for world domination. Thanks, Daya!

Oh I don’t know what you’ve been told
But this gal right here’s gonna rule the world
Yeah that is where I’m gonna be, because I wanna be
No I don’t wanna sit still, look pretty

 

Categories
Inside My Head

August?!?

Every summer, I look forward to the slower pace, a little more time on my hands and the opportunity to catch up. And every summer, I am sorely disappointed. The time flies by – at a seemingly faster pace than the year before, if that’s even possible. Things are more hectic with travel, visitors and unexpected projects. Don’t get me wrong – I enjoy the varied routine, and I especially love the travel and visitors, but I am always taken by surprise at how fast the time goes and how quickly the routine of fall is looming over us.

This summer has been no exception (thus, the reasons we were quite last week on the blog), so you think I’d learn my lesson by now. In anticipation of a little more time, I took on a couple extra projects in the spring for the summer. However, my extra time never quite materialized and now I’m packing just a little more in to an already full schedule. And somehow, it’s already the second week of August. How on earth did that happen?!?

This fast travel through time has me thinking about a recent article I saw about vacation planning. The author was encouraging readers to schedule vacation time before anything else, and I think I may try the approach next year. I think we often figure we’ll find a week or two once the calendar is set and go from there. But as I discover (over and over again), those quiet weeks never come unless we make them a priority.

So as the last few weeks of summer get away from me, I’ve looked towards the fall and already have a long weekend or two set aside to make sure I’ve got some time for me. Here’s hoping it’s a skill I will have mastered by the time the summer of 2017 rolls around.

Categories
On the Job

Stars, Snacks and Naps

A client I’ve been working with has been encouraging attendance at their monthly lunch and learns with some name plate swag afterwards. It’s nothing fancy – they started with putting gold stars on everyone’s name plate after the first lunch and learn. Then it was a smiley face ticket, a flower and so on. It’s been fun to watch the office fill up with bright colors and a little bit of fun as the year progresses.

It’s also been really fun to watch everyone get excited to receive their swag stickers after each event. As the swag is distributed after each lunch and learn, people are eager to see what they get this time. They love their owls, their festive fireworks and flags and it’s a reminder to me that we don’t change much from our early school days. We still love gold stars and stickers, and it’s nice to be recognized with a little fun.  It’s the same reason I never have a training session without snacks. Now if I could just figure out a way to work naps into the regular work routine, we’d complete the trifecta and I’d be a happy camper. Just one more way it seems we really did learn everything we need to know in kindergarten.

Categories
Inside My Head

High Expectations

Someone recently asked me if I considered myself high maintenance. Before you’re offended on my behalf because we share an assumption that being high maintenance is a bad thing, let me say she’s a wonderful young women and I respect her a lot. I think she’s working on finding her place in this world and is interested in how others see themselves as she’s working on her own self-view. Her question really caught me off guard, however, because I do start with the assumption that being high maintenance isn’t a desirable trait. To me, it conjures up images of demanding whatever is best of you whenever it suits you. It’s complaining about not getting the perfect table. It’s whining about things not going exactly your way. It’s all about you all the time. Quite frankly, the thought of it being about me all the time is exhausting.

I thought about it and told her I didn’t consider myself high maintenance, but rather, I knew what I wanted and wasn’t afraid to go after it or ask for it. Perhaps that does make me high maintenance. When I’m excited, I want you to get excited to. When I work hard, I want you to work just as hard. When I prioritize something, I want you to do the same. And maybe that’s another definition of high maintenance. I think of it as wanting to share what I find interesting with someone else. And the people I keep closest to me do often share those same values, which makes it fun.

When relaying this conversation to another friend, he had a good laugh (clearly, I’m a little higher maintenance on his scale than my own). But he did think about it for a minute and reframed it this way – he said he believed I had high expectations. And unlike the label of high maintenance, having high expectations resonated immediately. Yes, I absolutely have high expectations of those around me. I expect you’ll be excited because I’m excited. I expect we’ll work hard together. I expect we’ll share similar priorities. I expect these things because we’ve chosen to come together in life – as friends, colleagues, or partners. We share a common purpose on some level, and that drives our expectations. I hold myself to those same expectations when it comes to you because you matter to me. Your excitement, work ethic and priorities matter to me. And I am more than okay with those expectations of me.

And sure, your high expectations may let you down from time to time. And that’s okay. But it doesn’t mean I’m going to stop expecting the best from people. I will proudly wear the label of high expectations, and I can’t wait for you to surpass them.

Categories
Awesomeness in the World

Passionate People are Contagious

It’s been a busy week for me with projects, training and introductory meetings. And now that Friday has arrived, I’m feeling the downside of being so productive – I’m pooped. But there’s still a whole day left to go until I can call it a day and begin the weekend (which isn’t shaping up to be less hectic, but that’s another story). As I started my Friday, I had an introductory meeting with a new potential partner for a project. We had been in touch via email, but this was the first we’d spoken on the phone. And despite how tired I am from the craziness of this week, her positive energy was contagious and the thirty minutes we spent on the phone was just the boost I needed. My contact was passionate about her business and couldn’t wait to share it with me. The more she talked and the more we engaged the better I felt.

I’m drawn to the energy of people who are passionate about what they do, whether it’s their profession or in their personal life. I guess that’s where my true extrovert comes out – getting my energy from being around others. There’s just something contagious about that spark in their eyes or the joy in their voice when they’re talking about what makes them tick – you can’t help but be drawn in and get excited yourself. For me, that sharing of passionate energy is better than any caffeine boost, adrenaline rush or runner’s high. It’s a unique energy you can only get from a connection with someone else, and it’s truly special.

What are you passionate about?

 

 

Categories
Awesomeness in the World Libby

Cleaning

I’m on a mild hiatus from full-time work this summer (I’m still doing some work to help pay the mortgage, but I don’t have to go to the office every day), so I’ve been trying to take advantage of my time and clean the house. Not the standard cleaning (I actually get some help with that), but the deep cleaning – the cleaning of drawers, closets, nooks and crannies.

It’s harder to do than I thought – I really thought that I’d grown less attached to stuff, especially that which I don’t see very often. But not so. I think because I haven’t seen it in a while, when I pull it out, it’s a flood of memories – anything from my grandmother to my childhood to a fun time with friends. And it’s hard to throw out memories.

Recently, there was an episode of Real Housewives of NYC (part of my hiatus, don’t judge) and Sonja was trying to clean out her basement. She had to enlist friends to come help her get rid of stuff because everything she pulled out reminded her of when her children were little and she was married and they were a happy family. I get that, and even if your life is totally different now, getting rid of stuff from back in the day can make it feel like you’re giving away bits of yourself.

Of course, this isn’t true – your memories are in your brain, not your basement. I tell myself that all the time. And, for me, I’m done growing my family – why am I holding on to random baby stuff? Or furniture that literally does not fit in my house? It’s time to move on. But how?

I think books have been written about this, but here are some tactics that work for me:

  1. Reminisce: As you clean, tell the stories that go along with the items. Share how your grandmother used to take you out for fancy tea when you were six and also bought you your own tea set. Go ahead and remember where in the house that table used to be when you were in 7th grade and you spilled paint on it. Send an email to your brother of you wearing that t-shirt he made for your 16th birthday.
  2. Find new homes: Some things are hard to let go of from a sentimental perspective and some are just in good enough shape that you might just still use them. I might start juicing/espresso making/pasta making one day.  If you’re holding on to some girl-baby things and your uterus is closed for business, think about passing them on to a friend, cousin or good friend. You may know yourself well-enough to know you won’t use a Depression Era punch bowl, but by golly, your neighbor down the street is crazy for the stuff. And when you give it to the designated receiver, share your stories with them – it gives the gift more meaning and life.
  3. Need: There are a lot of people in need of lots of things. Even if it can’t go to a hand-picked home, there are still lots of folks who will use and appreciate what you can offer through a donation organization. It’s not a bad way to go.
  4. A picture is worth 1,000 words: I’ve been taking pictures of some stuff before I toss, donate or give it away. This way, I can still have that same feeling of remembering something when I come across the picture instead of the item. It’s also a great way to get back in touch with family and friends – chances are they remember that lamp/glass/shirt/toy with fondness, too.

I’m not claiming victory over marginal hoarding, but I’m making incremental progress. I figure that what I’m really doing is making room for new memories. And then I’ll just give all my stuff to my son when (and if) he moves into his own home…along with a copy of my blog. Good luck with your cleaning and enjoy your memories!

– Libby Bingham

Categories
On the Job

The Battle Royale: Negative vs. Positive Comments

Ah, the good ol’ evaluation. It inspires excitement, fear and usually a little anxiety. In high school, my best friend and I were Red Cross HIV/AIDS Peer Educators and supplemented sex ed curriculum for junior high and high school students across the suburbs of St. Paul. It was a great experience and we loved every second of it. But our absolute favorite part was reading the evaluations. We would thank everyone for their time, collect the evaluations and patiently wait for everyone to clear the room. The second that happened, we were tearing through the evaluations. Fortunately (and perhaps surprisingly), the 14-18 year-olds were typically kind to us and provided us with both useful and feel-good feedback. But with each class, there were usually one or two negative comments, and of course, those were the ones we were drawn to and they were the comments that stuck with us.
What is it about the negative comments that so thoroughly stick with us? Out of a group of 30 people, we can get 28 positive comments, but the 2 comments that aren’t good are the two that stick out. The New York Times published an article about this several years ago, Praise is Fleeting, but Brickbats We Recall. According to Clifford Nass, a professor of communication at Stanford University, it’s a tendency we all have.

Negative emotions generally involve more thinking, and the information is processed more thoroughly than positive ones. Thus, we tend to ruminate more about unpleasant events — and use stronger words to describe them — than happy ones.

– Clifford Nass

I just got my latest round of evaluations from a recent event and they were overwhelmingly positive. In fact, they’re some of the highest scores across the board I’ve received. Yet (and you knew this was coming), one of the open comments said that I told too many stories at the end. This overshadowed the comments about how engaging the session was, how they wished it was longer and how much they loved the energy and specific examples. My brain went right to that comment and stayed there.

But here’s the thing about the negative comments I didn’t fully understand back in high school – they’re still just comments. It’s what you decide to do with them that counts. I DO tell a lot of stories – it’s how I make sense of the world. It’s how I relate to people and show empathy. And I think it’s also what makes my a good teacher – I consider it one of my strengths. So it was too much for one person at the end. I’m okay with that. This same person also left some comments about the insightful and helpful tools, so I’m going to chose to focus on that and tell my brain it can move on from the negative.

What are you going to tell your brain to move on from?

Categories
Awesomeness in the World Libby

Family Beach Vacation

We just got back from a family vacation at the beach…it was so nice and relaxing:

  1. No cooking: So we stayed in a hotel which meant that we had to eat all our meals out – so nice not to have to shop and cook…or clean up!
  2. No rules:  Being on a break from our regular routine means we don’t have to adhere to our standard rules and regulations – late bedtimes, more sweets, wearing whatever we want, more sweets…
  3. Togetherness: During the school year, I often feel like relaxing means being alone (or at least away from my family), but this vacation we were all about togetherness and it was nice to truly enjoy each other’s company.
  4. Fun: Rather than parsing out our fun having, we just let it all rip and had extra fun stuff every day: beach, roller coasters, arcades, unhealthy food, boardwalk games, movies – why wait until Friday?!
  5. Friendly: We were all so relaxed, we were so much more friendly to each other – less parental nagging, less spousal snapping and many more fart jokes.

What is it about being away that makes all these things possible? Why can’t we be as easy and breezy with each other when we’re at home? I’m pretty sure we can be, but I can’t say I’ve mastered the art of getting anywhere close to replicating the feelings of lightness that I have when I’m “away from it all.” I think that’s something to strive for throughout the year, keeping the spirit of vacation in my heart all year ‘round. I’ll probably fail, but I can get closer; if we all make an effort and collectively make headway, I think out time together will be special no matter where and when we are…that’s some memory-making!

– Libby Bingham

Categories
Inside My Head

Someone

I’m looking for Someone. Someone has been taking on a lot these days. Someone is very busy, yet not really seeming to get much done. And I’ll be honest – I’m a little frustrated.

Someone seems to get in our way with way too much regularity. Much too often, we look to Someone. Someone should do something about our rowdy neighbor. Someone should tell the boss she’s micromanaging us. Someone should take on that project we’ve been talking about for so long. Someone should organize that trip we keep meaning to take. Someone should do something. And yet, despite everything we keep assigning to Someone, nothing seems to actually get done. Huh.

In defense of Someone, he’s really gotten the short end of the stick. We’re quick to assign tasks to Someone because it’s easier than doing it ourselves. We may not take action for a variety of reasons. We’re scared, we don’t know how to fix it, we don’t have the time, we’re know if will be hard, we might hurt feelings…the reasons are endless. But we know there’s a problem and we want to get credit for pointing it out and then delegating to Someone. As long as we verbalize it and get Someone on it, our hands are clean.

Spoiler alert: Someone doesn’t actually exist, and you don’t actually get anything done by assigning anything to him. It’s up to each of us to pick up the slack that Someone has created by letting things slide. We certainly can’t pick up all the things Someone was supposed to do, but if each one of us can tackle one thing Someone was supposed to do, imagine how much we might actually accomplish. So let’s make an agreement to help Someone out and quit delegating things to him. I’m in!

Categories
On the Job

Our Future Leaders: Girl Power

Earlier this month, I spoke about feedback at the American Association of University Women’s National Conference for College Women Student Leaders. Admittedly, that’s a whole lot of words and a long acronym (AAUW’s NCCWSL!), but to be fair, sometimes you need a lot of words to convey the power of what’s happening. The collection of young women at this conference was truly extraordinary. They were student leaders from all over the country who were making time for themselves and investing in their future. The conference had sessions focused on all aspects of life after college – professional advancement, relationships, wellness, empowerment and equity. The leadership had done a terrific job of putting together a well-rounded mix of topics to reflect what these young women were after.

And while the speakers and sessions were terrific, they were nothing compared to the energy these young women brought with them. One thing in particular stood out to me. As the attendees were trickling into our session room, I was so impressed with how quickly they greeted each other and got into conversation. It’s a stark contrast to what I typically see at professional conferences – most people are on their phones and leaving plenty of seats between them and their fellow attendees. These women recognized the opportunity they had in front of them and seized it. And their excitement didn’t end there. We had a wonderfully engaging discussion as opposed to just a presentation, which is way more fun for me and the attendees.

I left our session feeling energized and hopeful for our future. If these women are an indication of what’s coming, we’re in good shape. Though we can’t just sit back and watch their success – it’s up to us to help, encourage and support them in whatever way we can. Sharing our knowledge, answering questions and being open to what they have to share will help us all ensure we’re headed down a brighter path together.