Author: catherinewemette

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Book Reports

Lean In

I’ve gotten sloppy again in my reading. I’ve been spending this summer focusing on working out, taking care of myself and keeping more connected with those people who inspire me and feed my soul. And while I certainly don’t regret any of those choices, it does mean I’ve spent less time reading. But like so many patterns in my life, travel means reading and a recent trip back home to Minnesota was no exception. I had a chance to catch up on some books I’ve been excited about (and purchasing a few more to add to my ever-growing pile. I better get on that!).

As I mentioned in a previous post, one of those books was Sheryl Sandberg’s Lean In. I know I’m a little late to the party (I usually am when it comes to books – and new technologies if we’re being honest), but I had also put this one off for a bit after reading about the passing of Sandberg’s husband, Dave Goldberg. I knew one of the chapters of her book outlined the importance of having an equal partner, and the cruelty of her partner being taken away from her in such an unexpected way after preparing for a lifetime together seemed like it might be more than I could handle. It’s always hard to hear about the passing of another’s loved one, but his passing in what seemed to be the prime of their lives together seems incredibly unfair (I know, I know…life is never fair. But sometimes it seems exceptionally unfair.).

That said, I’m glad I decided to read the book anyway. Obviously I don’t know her at all, but after reading her book, I’m interested in learning more about her. I want to listen to her TEDTalks and read more interviews with her. The titles of her chapters reflect the sort of advice I’ve found helpful in my life and can always use more of. What’s interesting about Sandberg is that she weaves together her own experiences with countless studies and mountains of research. Early on in her writing, she admits to being most comfortable with science and less comfortable sharing her own experiences, but I think we can all relate to that. Science is facts, and you can’t argue with facts, while our opinions and our experience leave us vulnerable to others’ judgments. And while the facts certainly help strengthen her case, it’s Sandberg’s willingness to share of herself through her stories that makes this book so readable. She comes across as the smart, funny and honest big sister, cousin or friend we’d all like to have in our corner. And we know we’d be fiercely loyal to her in return. Her words are simple, though powerful reminders of what we need to do for ourselves and others to lift us all up. We need to sit at the table, seek and speak our truth, and most importantly, talk about it.

I’m already making a mental list of the people to whom I need to recommend or buy this book for – assuming they’re a little behind the times like I am. That to me is always the most powerful indicator of a good story – one I can’t wait to share with others. And assuming you’re more on top of it than I am, I’d love to hear your take on her story as well!

Categories
Awesomeness in the World Karen

The Quiet Journey Of Transformation

Karen AcornAn acorn falls from the tree. The rains come and it begins to sink into the ground.

Below the surface in the quietness of earth, the roots push and break through its shell. The acorn grows; diving to deeper depths of soil. In this dark place where no sunlight exists, no one can see the purity of its transformation. In the dark, cold earth a seed is morphing, in small, gradual steps.

Seasons come and go; and one day, on a very special day, for the first time, the roots of this acorn surface. It enters sunlight as a fragile stem. Bruisable. Breakable. Vulnerable. In its appearance there is weakness; yet concealed is an unshakeable foundation. A fortified strength.

The investment that takes place in secrecy, births life to what will be a magnificent oak tree.

What once was merely one in a million is now one of a kind.

– Karen Thrall

* also published on www.karenthrall.com

Categories
Career

The Good About Pain Points

Pain points – we all have them. We have them in our personal and professional lives, and our companies and organizations have them, too. In the past week, I’ve come across two unique takes on addressing company pain points. The first was this Forbes article on pain letters. Don’t worry – they’re much less scary than they sound (and they’re very smart!).

The basic premise is that rather than telling a prospective employer about yourself through your resume and traditional cover letter, you flip the focus to one of their pain points and then share how you can help. Not only does it provide a nice introduction to yourself, but more than that, it tells your potential employer that you do your research and understand where they’re coming from. Who doesn’t like to be presented with a solution rather than a sales pitch? This was the first time I’ve heard about this particular form of cover letter and it certainly makes a lot of sense to me

So with that rattling around in my head, I’m also reading Sheryl Sandberg’s Lean In. I’m really enjoying it, and will share more in a future book report post, but I was struck by a story she told that reminded me of the pain letter. Shortly after she started her job as Facebook’s COO, Sandberg talks about an acquaintance, Lori Goler, who called her and said she wanted to work with her. Rather than go through her own skills and ask Sandberg what openings may be a good fit, Goler asked Sandberg what her biggest business problem was at the moment and whether or not she thought Goler could help fix it. The way that Sandberg tells the story, the approach was so novel and so helpful, her “jaw hit the floor.” She needed help with recruiting new talent and while Goler didn’t necessarily have that exact background, she had skills that were transferable enough that they thought it could work. And it did – exceptionally well. I’ll let you read the book to learn more.

I can’t stop thinking about the notion of pain points as a starting place. What would happen if we stopped selling ourselves first and started with understanding someone else’s pain points? How much further could we go, and how much faster? What untapped capacity could we find within ourselves that we didn’t know existed? Rather than thinking of ourselves as one particular skill set, what if we identified problems and then were able to figure out how we could help? What teams could we build and what amazing things could we accomplish? These are the things that will continue to rattle around in my head for quite some time, and I can’t wait for the next opportunity to help someone with their pain point.

Categories
Book Reports Libby

The Year of Magical Thinking

Last week I received a call from a friend, the mother of my son’s friend. Her son, who had just turned seven years old, died. He got sick, was hospitalized and while in the care of doctors, had a brain hemorrhage and died.

On so many levels, for so many reasons, I am heartbroken.

I am doing my best to navigate the murky waters of being a friend and, at the same time, a reminder of what she and her husband have lost. I am trying not to be sad all the time. I’m talking to people in order to process it while trying hard not to make this about me.

A friend of mine – who lost her mother to a long bout with brain cancer – recommended to me that I read Joan Didion’s The Year of Magical Thinking, a book looked upon as a classic take on mourning.

The book was hard to read; Didion lays all her emotions bare. And while it does not specifically address the death of a child, many of the things she goes through are universal. One thing stuck out to me: it was just an ordinary day.

That phrase is terrifying – there is no advance notice of death. Even if someone is sick for a long time, the actual passing is still difficult; without time to process, it’s devastating. You cannot prepare.

It can also be a comforting phrase – this means that every day is a special day when you spend it with people you care about. It’s an opportunity to make a memory, build a relationship, or share an experience. And in mourning, the most ordinary of things are the things you remember – and miss – the most.

I will continue to be sad, but I will also stop lamenting that every day is not a rainbow of fun, sunshine and candy. I will embrace the ordinariness of the everyday, because I have commonplace, I have mundane, I have one more day.

– Libby Bingham

Categories
Awesomeness in the World Karen

Be Present with Confidence

Karen Confidence
Photo credit: Maja Petrih

My good friend of 12 years, Nathan Rooke, is an innovator, businessman, family man, humanitarian, philanthropist, and dreamer. Once a year, we would meet for lunch and catch up on our lives and our news. It was effortless to spend time with him. He’s a soaker of information. He listens with curiosity. He’s kind and encouraging. He’s also a thinker and a strategist and whatever he sets his mind to, he will only pursue it one way: with excellence. We would share both business and personal stories. We would talk about our dreams and aspirations. We would speak openly of our challenges. And with each visit, I would walk away inspired and grateful for his friendship. It’s not quantity that grows friendships; it’s quality. One of my favorite things about Nathan is how wonderfully present and engaging he is.

What happens when we are present? We are confident. We speak with confidence. We walk with confidence. We engage with confidence. When you are present, you carry a presence about you. This presence is what draws people to you.

Everyone has a presence. Yes, everyone. How do you present yourself, right now, today? Choose your presence. And stay true to it.  (“How do I do that, KT?”)

Well, you can start your day like this “Today I choose to be present with everyone I come into contact with. Everyone matters today. I will show humans that I am present. They will see it in the way I look into their eyes. They will feel it in the warmth of my kind smile. They will know it through my kind words. They will experience me simply being the best me. All I know is, when I am present, I exude a presence that positively impacts others.”

Please don’t ask me to contextualize this for you. You decide. You choose. What are your favorite yous? Live you – today.

How well do you engage in the moment, with the people standing in front of you? How easily distracted are you from what is presently happening in your current environment?

As a business leader, there are added benefits to being present with your presence. To list a few off the top of my head: camaraderie with your colleagues; happy staff who feel valued; heightened productivity; and teamwork in daily operations. When we are not vying for position, and we are content with our present place, our authority increases. Authority is the permission to ‘be’ who we are in the position we are entrusted with.

When we are engaging, we activate our inner-confidence. With inner-confidence is the contentment that, who we are, right now, is perfectly perfect. With this peaceful assurance, we can humbly walk in authority. What do I mean by authority, since there are many definitions? The one I am referring to is the power to influence others, especially because of one’s commanding presence.

Who would have thought that the simplicity of being present can magnify our confidence; our confidence enlarges our presence; our presence expands our authority; our authority heightens our influence; and our influence increases our impact.

The times I am most inspired by people are in conversations that emerge because we are effortlessly present. In these moments, gold nuggets transpire and my day is doused with inspiration.

To those I have been in contact with either serendipitously, momentarily, seasonally, or lifelong journeyers: thank you for being present with me. You have no idea the type of impact you have when you share your presence with me. Thank you for choosing to be present with your presence. Don’t stop. It created a magic between us that can only be manifested through your inner-confidence. To the ones I have not yet met or not yet come into contact with: I look forward to encountering your presence.

World renown author, Wayne Dyer, writes, “Stop acting as if life is a rehearsal. Live this day as if it were your last. The past is over and gone. The future is not guaranteed.”

– Karen Thrall

*also published on www.karenthrall.com

Categories
Career Inside My Head

Choices

I’ve been thinking about choices a lot lately.

Scratch that. I’ve always thought a lot about choices. Probably because I’ve never been very good at making decisions, since ultimately, choosing one thing means not choosing another. That’s the part I have a hard time with. I’m pretty good about knowing what I don‘t want, but there are so many interesting possibilities out there that it’s really hard to narrow down what I do want.

In high school, I ran myself into the ground because I couldn’t choose – I was one of a handful of kids who got permission to be on the swim team and participate in the fall musical. I juggled track practice and the spring play. But let’s be clear, here – I was fine at all these things. Not great, but fine. It wasn’t like I was a huge talent and the show wouldn’t go on without me (was Villager #2 really critical to the plot?). But as fine as I was, I really liked all these things. I wanted to be a part of them and enjoyed having these experiences in my life.

I don’t have trouble letting go of things I’ve tried that have no interest for me (softball, the flute, Girl Scouts). I enjoyed all these things just fine, but they didn’t hold my interest long-term. In college, I knew I wasn’t going to be an engineer or a math professor, so I dutifully completed my math and science requirements and moved on. But I couldn’t narrow down my interest in the liberal arts, so I double majored in communications and political science and minored in business administration. And now as an adult professional, I’ve finally settled on consulting as my career so I can work with lots of different people and organizations.

Clearly, I have trouble choosing.

A friend recently shared this blog post, Work-Life Balance is Absolutely Bogus by Deirde Maloney. And while I don’t necessarily think I have trouble with work-life balance specifically, the first truth she asserts is that there’s no such thing as having it all. Maloney writes:

The idea that we can “have it all” if we just get better at time-management or set some boundaries is a fallacy. When we try to squeeze our never-ending list of activities (and relationships) into a given day, our time and energy run out. We wind up doing a bunch of things partway. Which means we do some things well and some things … not-so-well.

I’d like to think I’ve gotten a little better about life balance since running myself into the ground in my high school days, but Maloney’s words ring true to me – trying to squeeze it all in means that quality of work and the quality of the time spent suffer. We have to make choices about what we want to do well and there’s just no way to get around that. And that’s just the reminder I need when I start to think about all the things I might be missing out on. It’s probably not a coincidence that the one sport in which I excelled was skiing and I devoted myself fully to that sport for the entire season. So as I think through the choices I make, I need to stop thinking about what I might be missing and start thinking about what I want to do well and let that guide me.

What do you want to do well?

Categories
Career Karen

Receive the Truth About Your Business

So, you’re in leadership. You have weighty responsibilities. People look to you for solutions and successful outcomes. Currently, you’re somewhat concerned. You’re looking at the outgoing and incoming dollars, and you’re not sure about the best plan to execute. What’s next? How do you make sure this next phase is more successful than the previous two years?

Before making any more decisions, receive the truth about your business.

Galileo once said, “All truths are easy to understand once they are discovered; the point is to discover them.”

Stick to what you know is true. Don’t waiver. If your business is going through some challenges, it might be time for you to rediscover the truth about your business.

I remember a story that John Fluevog shared with me.  It was in the late 90’s and he was in the throws of big business changes. One day the light went on: “Focus on what I know to be true. I know how to design great shoes.”  By focusing on the facts and truth of his business, he then exploded into big success. At that point, he went from a small local business to an internationally known luxury footwear company. What is the truth about your business? Put your energy there.

John Fluevog also shared with me, “I picked the one thing I knew how to do and let all else go, especially the things I could not change. I focused on the one thing that made the business stand out. I did not follow a trend. I opened myself up and had the boldness to do the things that came to me or, another way to put it, I followed my heart. I lost the fear of following trends and trusted my heart. The product I did then, 15 years ago, saved my company. It was way out of step with the current trends but it gave the company a strong identity and it is still selling today. It has to be said that the style was also not accepted by mainstream fashion and remained a cult item. Which was and still is perfect for my company.  By letting go of what the rest of the fashion industry did, I saved my company.  I let go of fear and followed my inward voice.” 

Discovering the truth of your organization will make it easier for you, your team and your customers to understand why they want to sign up! What do I mean by receive the truth? First, by receiving the truth for yourself, you’ll be able to effortlessly give the truth away. For example, I can only exhale breath if I first inhale it. I can only give an apple, if I have one in my hand. I can only sell a great product, if I unwaveringly know I have a great product. I can only share the truth of my extraordinary business, by first confidently believing it is truly extraordinary. Do you know why you’re extraordinary? What do you know to be true? Receive the truth first, and then share it.

By the way, Galileo is esteemed as one of the greatest scientists of all time.  Might be a good idea if we pay attention to what he said.

– Karen Thrall

*also posted on www.karenthrall.com

Categories
Awesomeness in the World Libby

Rumer Has It

I recently was gifted a Glamour magazine (July 2015) – not my usual fare, but I found some real value in it: negotiation tactics, pastels are in this summer, and Rumer Willis is kind of awesome. I missed the season of Dancing With the Stars (DWTS) where Rumer won the coveted disco ball, but I wish I hadn’t – her article (Dancing Queen) hit on some things that I’m still trying to learn a whole quarter of a century after she’s gained the insight:

  1. “Comparison is the thief of joy.” This Teddy Roosevelt gem is something that Rumer’s mom, megastar, Demi Moore, told her when she was growing up. It’s a good one – there’s always someone smarter/richer/prettier/funnier/more successful than you are; if you spend all your time lamenting whatever you are not, you’re wasting a lot of time being unhappy. Find your awesome and embrace it!
  2. “Fear is a really debilitating emotion.” Being scared of failing, looking the fool or not being “enough” can keep you from enjoying your life and trying new things. Rumer overcame her fear enough to go on national TV to do something she’d never tried, she of no dance or athletic background (“…or even worked out much…”). Oh, and she won.
  3. Inspiration can be found lots of places. Scout and Tallulah, her little sisters, both inspire her to turn down the negative noise – their bravery has helped her ignore a constant barrage of nasty comments on the Internet. I don’t know Scout and Tallulah, but I have found a little inspiration in Glamour magazine!
  4. Beauty is in accomplishment. Rumer talked about how beautiful she felt after having completed her first competition dance – not because of the pretty costume or having her hair and make-up done, but because of how hard she’d worked and having overcome her fears. This has led to a stronger sense of believing in herself.
  5. Stop being mean. This is something that almost every child has heard, but as adults, we sometimes forget. In the age of Internet anonymity, cruelty has become easier, but it hurts just as much. Think of what we could all accomplish if we stopped being mean and started being supportive. If you can’t think of something nice to say, don’t say anything at all!

– Libby Bingham

Categories
Book Reports

Summer Reading Lists

For many of us, the summer reading list goes back to the days of elementary school. Whether the books were assigned by next year’s teacher, your library had a program or you were motivated by personal pan pizzas (thanks, BOOK IT!), summer is synonymous with getting lost in a good book. As an adult, summer vacations aren’t necessarily the two or three months they used to be, but beaches and planes also present some good reading opportunities.

The Washington Post recently published “A summer reading list that will help you professionally,” which got me feeling guilty about my own pile of books waiting to be read. I’m currently about halfway through Selfish, Shallow, and Self-Absorbed: Sixteen Writers on the Decision Not to Have Kids, a collection of essays pulled together by Meghan Daum. It’s an incredibly thoughtful look at the decisions we make around children – not just about not having them, but also about why people choose to have kids. It’s a deeply personal conversation and I think it’s impossible to explore one side of the coin without looking at the other. I’m enjoying the different perspectives and the conversations it brings up among my friends.

My other books waiting patiently to be read this summer…

What’s on your summer reading list this year?

Categories
Awesomeness in the World Karen

How Bad Is It, Really, When We Fail?

Karen Fail
Photo by Daniela Cuevas

There is nothing idealistic or romantic about failing. It is part of life. It is humbling. It is discouraging. It depletes us (for a moment), yet reminds us (if we so choose) to remain relentless.

How bad is it, really, when we fail? Is it really that awful?

Hurts our pride, sure. Creates embarrassment, yes, okay. Reminds us we’re at least giving it our best shot, absolutely!

Failure is the omission in our performance; the state of inability; a giving way under stress; a lack of success; a falling short. (gee, thanks, Mirriam-Webster, rub it in a little more…)

We can view our shortcomings as opportunists or with defeatism. Listen carefully to what I’m about to write – I need your full attention!

DO NOT QUIT! DO NOT GIVE UP! You’ve come this far. You are so close. To what? To progress, to the outcome you desire, to fulfilling what you believe you are to do. Remain steadfast. Persevere. Hang in there. Surround yourself with cheerleaders.

If you focus on a plant and cultivate it, water it, weed it and nurture it – it will grow. To what extent? We’re never quite certain. But we are certain it will grow. Ask yourself, “Instead of quitting, is there opportunity for just a little more room for growth?” If there is room, even an inkling of forward progress, then do it!

Your character is not in question. This has nothing to do with character. Failure is not associated with our character. Failure is associated with our attempt to try. This is solely about performance (an action), and performance lends itself to immeasurable opportunities.

Look back on your timeline. How far have you come? Has there been progress? Then, I petition you, keep going!

You don’t know yet what that missing piece is. But you will find it. It may take some time, and that’s okay. It might come about through a big “aha” light bulb moment beaming from your brain! It may come through a passing comment you overheard. Maybe you’ll figure it out through reading, writing, learning, analytics or research. You may find that “clue” in the quietness of contemplation, through nature or outdoor activities. You get the gist! There is a missing piece. Pioneer that you are, you will figure it out.

Which club do I want to belong to? The club that has paved the way for us newbie ‘failurites’ to believe it’s possible. Check out what these greats have to say about failure!

*****

Winston Churchill said “Success is going from failure to failure without a loss of enthusiasm.”

Michael Jordan said, “I’ve missed more than 9000 shots in my career. I’ve lost almost 300 games. 26 times, I’ve been trusted to take the game winning shot and missed. I’ve failed over and over and over again in my life. And that is why I succeed.”

James Cameron said, “There is room for failure; there is no room for fear.”

Thomas Edison said, “I have not failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work.”

J.K. Rowling said, “Failure is so important. We speak about success all the time. It is the ability to resist failure or use failure that often leads to greater success. I’ve met people who don’t want to try for fear of failing.” 

*****

Don’t be afraid to fail. Chances are, there will be moments it happens. And that’s okay. Note: I said “moments” not a “lifetime.” Failure is temporary.

A perfect path has already been trodden upon. A new path requires the forerunner to carve the clearing. C’mon forerunner, carve away!

– Karen Thrall

* also published on www.karenthrall.com