Category: Karen

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Awesomeness in the World Karen

Reciprocity

When strolling on the beach, it’s not uncommon to greet someone with a smile and be greeted in return with a smile. A word describing this kind of interaction is reciprocity.

Last week, I needed to focus and get some work done efficiently. Sometimes I get a bit of cabin fever because my office is in my home. I love working from home but, by the afternoon, I sometimes need to relocate to get those last few hours of work completed.

So I took my computer to a great local restaurant, Rimel’s Bar and Grill DelMar, which is walking distance from my home. I ordered a glass of wine paired with delicious calamari and ahi poke. I sat in the corner of their bar area and set up camp: laptop, notebook, pencil and… eraser (have to write in pencil. KT does a loooot of erasing…).

It was my first time visiting this restaurant. I’d been wanting to check it out. (I’ve only lived in the area for 6 months)

As I looked around, I see that I’m the only one working. Every guest was socializing and enjoying vibrant conversations. Great vibe. I was happy I chose this place.

In the mix of head down and fingers on the keyboard, I’d glance up on occasion to enjoy some people watching.

The server, at first, didn’t know what to think of me. She was polite and not accustomed to having someone with their laptop working in this fabulous dining facility.

I smiled. She half-way smiled. I asked her a few questions about her menu. She answered politely.

As the time went by, she’d check on me, ask me how the food was or if I needed anything else. Each time I warmly smiled, engaged her with friendly light-heartedness, and let her know I was appreciative of her service.

By the time I paid my bill, she had warmed up to me. Her smile matched mine. Her friendliness matched mine. Her comfortableness matched mine.

Reciprocity is a wonderful gift we can freely share with every human on this planet. It supersedes all language barriers, all cultures, all lifestyles; igniting environments of human-kindness.

What is your favorite way of expressing reciprocity? We will each have our own unique expression. Live yours every day.

– Karen Thrall

*also published on www.karenthrall.com

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Karen On the Job

Market Research Gets a Rebirth Over and Over and Over…Again

How’s your company doing? Still doing the same advertising, marketing and promotional routines? How long has it been the same? What if you’re in a rut? And how do you know if you are in a rut?

Simple. Are numbers increasing, stagnant or decreasing?

Increasing? Then, you’re not in a rut.

Stagnant or decreasing? You’re in a rut.

It might be time for some market research again. A rebirth. I believe we should continually evaluate/assess our marketing strategies. Sometimes what used to work may no longer be as effective. That doesn’t mean the business is over, just means we look at it from a different angle.

(1)  Word of mouth is contagious and it’s your free advertising. Definitely do not compromise this one!! It’s a good idea for organizations to invest heavily in their customers. Your customers are your best sales people because they love what you offer and provide. Bottom line: they love you! They’re a fan! Are your customers spreading the love? Is their enthusiasm about your services and product infectious? Ask yourself, “What is missing in our organization that is keeping our customers from bragging about us?” Find out. Don’t dismiss any notion or stream of thought. Explore the wonderful possibilities that will emerge from your analyses. And remember, your employees are also your customers.

(2)  What is the goal you want? Be specific. Write it out. Share your goal EVERYWHERE!  And stay true to it. Dream about it. Think, strategize, brainstorm, analyze, plan, build – do whatever it takes (well, almost whatever!)! This business you launched was birthed from your incredible and extraordinary creativity. That very same creative resource will continue to grow your business. Your creativity is a key component to your success! Stick to one goal and stay tenacious until you’ve accomplished it. Your confidence is also fundamental.

I believe every organization needs to reinvent their public persona every 3-5 years. Keep it fresh! I learned this personal life principle from one of my best friends, Graham. It’s effective and provides a freshness to help you keep growing. Think about all the investment you’ve made to get you this far – it’s worth the time to look over your organizational map and see where you can explore a new way of thinking.

– Karen Thrall

* also published on www.karenthrall.com

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Awesomeness in the World Karen

It Was Luck!

When I read Good To Great, it really resonated with me when Jim Collins wrote about great leaders believing in luck – they believe in good fortune.

“Later, when asked to discuss the factors behind the enduring nature of the transformation, he said, ‘The first thing that comes to mind is luck…I was lucky to find the right successor’.” – Jim Collins, Good To Great

Sometimes the answer to our success is “we were fortunate.”

I wish for you a waterfall of good fortune in your professional lives and aspirations; that you will be in the right place at the right time.

Keep chasing your longing. You just never know what’s around the corner. None of us ever really know.

And with regards to your vision – anything is possible. Surround yourself with great people. Look to those around you as invaluable contributors and positive influencers.

All the great leaders – and there are many – give “luck” or “good fortune” a lot of credit for their success.

Based on the insights these influential leaders offer, the beautiful part of good fortune means nothing is impossible. It’s truly possible for you to encounter good fortune.

We only know what life offers us right now, right here, in this moment. We don’t know what tomorrow holds. We don’t even know what will occur an hour from now.

When you happen upon good fortune, remind yourself how lucky you are. It doesn’t mean you are better than someone else, nor does it mean you’re more qualified or more experienced or more impressive. It means you were chosen in that moment, and that’s something quite wonderful to be thankful for.

Feeling lucky is not the same as being lucky. We can have a good feeling about something, but that doesn’t necessarily mean it will translate to good fortune.

When we happen upon good fortune, it’s the realness that favor knocked on our door unannounced, we answered the door and welcomed it in.

On a side note: to only carry wishful thinking is a deterrent to your good fortune.

“Diligence is the mother of good luck.” – Benjamin Franklin

Denzel Washington (I’m a fan!) also made this statement that I respect, “I say luck is when an opportunity comes along and you’re prepared for it.”

Continue being diligent, and keep yourself in a posture of preparation, and let’s see what unfolds for you. You just never know…..

– Karen Thrall

*also published on www.karenthrall.com

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Inside My Head Karen

Where is Your Heart?

Where is your heart? As in, that on which your life centers?

Have you ever said the phrase, “My heart says one thing, but my mind thinks differently.” This is a common paradox for individuals wrestling with life.

How do you get your heart and your mind on the same page?

Time.

Allow room for time.

Always let your heart lead the way. But allow a timeline for your mind to get on board. Your mind needs time to wrap itself around your longings. It wants to be in agreement with you, but doesn’t know how and needs to find the answers to the what, why, when, and where. Your mind wants to cooperate. Your mind wants to ask questions. And your mind wants to argue with you – not to hold you back – but rather to help you come up with a game plan.

“You make it sound so simple Karen.”

It is simple. We over complicate things.

Take a sheet of paper and draw a line down the middle. On one side, write the words “What my hearts says,” and on the other “What my mind says.”

Compare notes, and then start making a plan. A compromise. A negotiation. A meet-half-way. A big picture. A timeline. Set goals. And accomplish each goal, one step at a time. When the mind and heart unite and cooperate, the adventure begins.

And guess what that adventure is? You begin to believe and trust with forward steps.

Where is your heart?

– Karen Thrall

*also published on www.karenthrall.com

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Inside My Head Karen

4 Reasons We Get Upset

I was recently asked, “When we’re upset with someone, is it because we see our reflection in their behavior?” Sometimes, yes, but not every time.

There are four reasons we get upset with people.

  1. They mirror us.
  2. They hurt us.
  3. They harm us.
  4. They offend us.

THEY MIRROR US

This one’s a tricky one because it takes swallowing your pride to admit you see yourself in their behavior. How do you know if the annoyance, the nuisance, the irritation is a reflection of you? Ask yourself, “Have I ever acted this way?” Although you may have answered with a small, whispering “yes,” a yes is still a yes (sorry to break it to you). If you can identify ever so slightly with the negative behavior, find a position of understanding before resolving. If someone is reacting emotionally to you, and you have in the past reacted emotionally to someone else, how did you get over it? What did you need to help you resolve? Then offer that same helpful resource in resolving this conflict.

THEY HURT US

Hurt is a normal part of relationships. Your feelings can get hurt. You may feel misunderstood, rejected, overlooked, ignored, dismissed, patronized, insulted, provoked, challenged, the list goes on. This is normal. Being hurt is the lowest form of offense. We get upset if the car in front of us slams on their breaks, or we spill coffee on our shirt or the dirty dishes are still in the sink. If you experience hurt – good news! – it’s fixable and resolvable. Stay in it and figure out how to amend the situation. Avoid phrases like “You are” and “You never” etc. If someone hurts you, share the specific story of what hurt you. The story, not how it made you feel, is key to the resolve. If you only share how you feel it comes across as accusatory.

THEY HARM US

If a human being speaks threateningly to you, is physically aggressive, verbally aggressive, demoralizing, bullying you, demands submission, dominates you with fear, calls you names, and so on, you are in harm’s reach. And you need to seek help and you need to be rescued. Here’s the good news: you can stand up with confidence against aggression of all forms. You are a delightful human being worthy of love, respect and honor. You have one life to live, and your life is not at the mercy of a mean oppressor. Aggressive behavior is very intimidating and can quickly paralyze our thoughts and our ability to express our thoughts. You have a voice and your voice matters. Even the slightest verbal statement will liberate you. You can start with a simple phrase such as, “This is not okay with me.” Please seek out help.

THEY OFFEND US

When you feel a human offends you, find out why their behavior is offensive. For example, if they are making racial discriminatory comments, then yes, that makes sense that you’re offended. If it’s not that blatant, then perhaps they are offending your personal core values. For example, if your core value is that your words and actions match and people can count on you, but you have a friend that is unreliable and not following through on their commitments, then your values are offended. To resolve core value offenses, share your experience or story and share what is important to you and what you value. Find that shared value and try again.

– Karen Thrall

*also published on www.karenthrall.com

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Awesomeness in the World Karen

Leaving An Impression

It was early in the morning. I decided to take the train to work. I wasn’t doing very well. I felt sad and chose to sit in the back corner of the car so I could stare out the window while wearing my invisible-you-can’t-see-me cloak.

The doors open and I watched her push his wheelchair onto the train. They must have been in their late 70’s, possibly early 80’s. An elderly Chinese couple. A bald man whose face was round and jolly. His eyes were content. His countenance peaceful. Her hair was white and coiffed in a classic 60’s rolled voluminous style.   She was wearing a tweed, three-quarter length coat with white gloves and her satchel rested on her wrist. Her lips painted red and her eyebrows lined perfectly.

I felt love. Love for these two. I watched them from a distance. They caught my attention. I was instantly smitten.

And something interesting happened. My spirits lifted.

Somehow, these two strangers, who not once glanced my way nor had any idea I was there, brightened my day.

My grey cloud vanished. My perspective cleared up. I smiled warmly. I was given a second chance to a new day.

They brightened my world. Not with anything they said or did – just their presence captivated me.

Quite amazing the power we have, and we rarely are aware of it.

You leave an impression – whether positive or negative – you leave an impression. And you influence your environment.

Never underestimate that you’re capable of brightening the day of those you come into contact with.

Every day matters. Anytime, anywhere, anyone. Someone will be influenced by you. You matter.

You matter to people like me.

To the strangers in this world, thank you for being you.

 

– Karen Thrall

*also published on www.karenthrall.com

 

 

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Inside My Head Karen

Your One Sentence Summary

If you could take 6 months off with unlimited resources, what is the first thing that comes to your mind?

1. _____ Rest and relax and enjoy not having any pressing responsibilities
2. _____ Plan an outdoor excursion: _____________________________________
3. _____ Enjoy your community with a ‘staycation’
4. _____ Invest in your hobby: _____________________________________
5. _____ Work on house projects or renovations: _________________________________
6. _____ Spend more time gardening and being in your backyard
7. _____ Visit family and relatives
8. _____ Travel the world: ______________________________________
9. _____ Try something new: ________________________________________
10. _____ Volunteer for a humanitarian cause: _______________________________________

Place this list in your order of preference.

Did you do it? Pause. Don’t read anymore until you’ve filled it out.

Ready?

What are your top 4? What are you bottom 4?

Question: What is this saying about you? Write down 5 things.

This says/shows that I….
1. _________________________________________________________________________________
2. _________________________________________________________________________________
3. _________________________________________________________________________________
4. _________________________________________________________________________________
5. _________________________________________________________________________________

There are core values we live by that are so woven into the deepest parts of our being that they never slumber and never go away. They are so part of us that sometimes we need to be reminded that they want to live on the outside, not just as a dreamer on the inside.

If you could sum up your five statements and turn it into one phrase about yourself, explaining why these phrases are so important to you, what would you write?
_______________________________________________________________________________________
_______________________________________________________________________________________

Okay, one last question.

How will you live the one-sentence summary today? This week? This month?

Don’t lose site of how you’re designed. It is a living spring bursting inside you, the fountain of your youth.

You don’t need six months off to live out what lives inside you. You can do that anywhere, anytime with anyone.

When I did this exercise, I resolved once again something that I’ve always known. I reflected on my ‘summary’ sentence and made a fresh commitment to myself to keep it alive, not only on the inside, but in who I am in this world. It is a gift to me and a gift to others; that’s the beauty of core values – they create wonderful energy in our environment, culture and community.

– Karen Thrall

*also published on www.karenthrall.com

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Inside My Head Karen

Asking Why?

I want to expand my knowledge, so I added a trivia APP on my phone. The app is Quizoid, “Get smart with your phone.” I like it. I’m actually learning tidbits of information that I hadn’t known previously, and I’m enjoying it.

I’ve never considered myself an intellect – still don’t. Yet, I long to know more. I crave it. My curiosity is one of the highest values I uphold. I don’t ever want to lose sight of the “why.”

As little children, we start life asking “why?”

There is something so pure in wanting to know more.

When I ask “why?” I start exploring. I listen differently. I observe differently. I engage my curiosity. I engage that childlike wonder.

I think sometimes we ask “why” as a cynic or critic rather than with sincerity. What would happen if we let down our guard and asked “why?” from a place of openness instead of defensiveness? Curious, childlike wonder may just surprise us.

– Karen Thrall

*also published on www.karenthrall.com

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Awesomeness in the World Karen

Diversity

karen applesDifferent cultures and different points of view are woven into the fabric of this world. Thanks to the world wide web, globalization is now part of our daily routine. The world is getting smaller.

I’d like to share some initial thoughts about diversity. There’s a difference between embracing diversity and being in agreement. Diversity doesn’t mean we’ll agree. Diversity is the acceptance of a range of different people/things. Diversity is quite simple: it means variety. Being in agreement does not equate diversity. We can embrace diversity, yet disagree.

Let’s using apples as an example. They’re diverse: Granny Smith, Delicious, McIntosh, Gala, Fuji – yet, they’re all apples. They grow healthily in orchards of sameness. Your culture, your community and your world is like an apple orchard. You are valuable. Your beliefs, your convictions, your lifestyle, your principles, your opinions and your feedback are all valuable.

If you’re a Gala, you’ll never be a Granny Smith, and that’s okay. Granny Smiths and Red Delicious, although both apples, are diverse. If apples can thrive in diversity, how much more can we humans?

You know what confuses things? The word “or”. That’s what messes everything up. We like the word “and”. Think about it.

  1. A happy partnership works best as you and I; not you or I.
  2. Running works best with the right and left leg alternating in motion; not the right or left leg.
  3. Rocking a chair works best with front and back motion; not front or back motion.

Diversity challenges us to rethink things. Diversity is the invitation that starts us with “or” and unites us to “and”.

Invisible Cyber Voice: Karen, do you like surf and turf?

KT: Why, yes I do, CV.

CV: Which one? Do you like surf or turf?

KT: Umm… well, I like them both.

CV: You can’t. You have to pick your favorite.

KT: But they’re so different. One is seafood and one is beef. I like them both. Why can’t I like them both?

CV: It doesn’t work that way. Pick one. Pick a side.

KT: Okay…. I like surf. I choose surf.

CV: So you don’t like beef?!

KT: I do like beef!

The word “or” provokes us to choose this rather than that or that rather this this. (note the or I snuck in there).

I remember learning about dualism for the first time by Jim McNeish. In our world we are quick to choose sides, one or the other, either/or, this or that. And he challenged us to think more about “yes and.” (Do you like surf or turf? I like surf and turf.)

Think beyond the word“or.” It will help immensely in learning what it means to be part of this big, beautiful, blue planet full of diversity.

How does diversity grow healthy orchards? What does it look like when we embrace diversity and uphold ‘variety’ as a core value? Let’s start with 10 simple principles on how we conduct ourselves amongst diversity.

  1. We refrain from derogatory or condescending language about another human being.
  2. We may not always agree, but we are not aggressive.
  3. We do not disqualify a person’s beliefs, values and principles to help prove we are right.
  4. We recognize that mankind is made up of various cultures and practices. Ours is not the best one.
  5. We will debate and disagree without loss of respect, kindness and honor towards one another.
  6. We engage with interest in conversations to help gain understanding and appreciation of others.
  7. We embrace each human as a valuable contribution to this world and we’re thankful.
  8. We may have convictions on certain topics, but never at the cost of defaming or degrading another.
  9. We ask questions.
  10. We do not uphold discrimination and prejudice.

May we please place, as our highest priority, the embracing of diversity, regardless of which apple we are. Let’s simplify diversity and not over-complicate it. Yes, disagree all you want. Yes, have convictions. Yes, have points of view. Enjoy your community. Enjoy your culture.

It would be unrealistic for McIntosh and Fuji to think they are exactly the same in appearance, taste, smell and texture. Along the same lines, we can start at the simplest base root – we all belong to the same planet. Can we start there and work our way to the core? (yes, pun intended)

p.s. The apple core are where seeds are nestled, ready to be planted so they too can be an apple tree.

– Karen Thrall

*also published on www.karenthrall.com

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Awesomeness in the World Karen

What are Your Non-Negotiables?

I’ve been thinking about my line of work and what makes me so unbelievably passionate about what I do. As I reflect, there are four non-negotiables that are important to me when working with teams, leaders and organizations. I’d like to share them with you.

  1. PEOPLE: People Matter. Right now, right here, you and/or your team are all that matter to me. I listen: intently. I’m captivated by every word you say. Your words, how you think, how you process, how you strategize, how you lead – it all matters. And I have all the time in the world for you. When I went through therapy several years ago, we were limited on time. The last 10 minutes of the counseling session I’d begin to shut off. I was aware that we were coming to the end. People need time.
  2. HEART: The heart of your business/organization/leadership matters. It was passion that started you on your path. You were full of vision, enthusiasm, confidence, hope, determination, tenacity, and courage. It’s important that this never be compromised; that the richest qualities you and/or your team possess remain strong and unwavering. It is humans that are leading organizations. It is humans that are living their lives. It is humans to whom I am committed.
  3. UNDER-PROMISE: My on-going commitment is to under-promise. I often ask myself, “what would I want?” This is an important question because it keeps the focus on your success. By keeping this question in the forefront of my mind, my hope is that I will deliver outcomes that exceed your expectations.
  4. AVAILABLE: At any time, we’ll explore whatever potential worries, stresses and uncertainties that may arise that could thwart your progress. At any time, I will be your sounding board and help you process any hurdles you may come across so you can resolve issues and frustrations quickly. At any time, I will facilitate any brainstorming or strategic thinking that you require. At any time, I am available to help formulate tasks and timelines to make sure the ball keeps rolling. At any time, I will coach your processes so that they’re executed exactly the way you want it; the way you like it; and the way you need it. At any time, I will help resolve unsettledness, conflict or misunderstandings. At any time, I am here for you. Period. I will support you…. at any time.

What are your non-negotiables? What is the contribution you bring to your work that is vital to the team’s success? Where do you shine? What matters to you? Which or your skills have you invested in? What are your work principles? Why are you valuable?

– Karen Thrall

*also published on www.karenthrall.com