Tag: Motivation

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Inside My Head Karen

Carefree or Careless?

I have a memory. I was a little girl and my mom was going to the grocery store. I asked her if my friend and I could go to the park and play in the wading pool while she went to get groceries. She agreed and dropped us off.

When we arrived, the park attendant told us we couldn’t play in the water with regular clothing. We needed a bathing suit.

My mom had already left so now what are we going to do?

I had a great idea and thought we could walk over to my neighbor’s house and swim in her pool. My plan was to call my mom at the grocery store and ask them to page her and I’d let her know where we were – once we arrived at my neighbor’s.

Off we go, walking. We walked and walked. At last, arrived. I called to leave a message at the grocery store, as planned, but they couldn’t locate my mom. This didn’t faze me. And we continued with our plan to swim.

Yep, that’s my story.

Imagine my mom’s rendition! The panic. The fear. Is her little girl safe? She’s responsible for my friend, too! She doesn’t know where I am. She couldn’t find me. What thoughts were racing through her head?

My perception of who I was as a child is a bit of a footloose kid. I didn’t think through my decisions fully. I would go with the flow. Adjust. Adapt. Roll with the punches. To not be fazed was normal. My lens was full of adventure and wonder. I was the “okay, sure” tag-along. I wasn’t the leader; I was definitely the follower. I would get lost in my imaginary world and create worlds that didn’t exist. I created pretend stories. And ever since I can remember, life was good and I was blessed with a carefree nature. However, I wasn’t passive and docile. I had lots of energy. A tomboy. A handful, sometimes…

Thinking on this memory, was I carefree or careless?

I’ve been thinking about the paradox of these words. And my answer is, “Yes, both.”

I would imagine from my mom’s perspective, I was completely careless. But from my perspective I was carefree.

My mom’s lens might be: “Karen was not thoughtful of how her behavior affected others.”

My lens is: “We’ll figure it out. All will be well.”

My mom’s lens might be: “If Karen would have taken a bit more time to think through her options, we wouldn’t have experienced this gut-wrenching fear.”

There is a price to being carefree. The reality is, it’s a paradox. With my carefree nature, I also have a careless nature.

For example, I’ve had to replace my mobile phone three times in one year. My phone drops from my hand and falls out of my bag because I won’t take the time to care for it properly.  In the last 3 years I’ve broken 7 phones. That’s a 7:1 ratio compared to my friends.

Carelessness vs. Carefreeness. They co-exist in my world.

I don’t want to forfeit my carefree spirit for the sake of over-thinking. But I do want to be carefree with more thoughtfulness.

– Karen Thrall

*also published on www.karenthrall.com

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Career Libby

Weakness?

My friend recently went on a job interview. It was a group interview, just her and five staff people sitting around a table…gulp! That’s fairly intimidating, but she said it all went well…until the last question:

“If you were interviewing you for this position, what would be your biggest concern about your taking the job?”

That’s basically code for what is your biggest weakness. How do you respond to that? She said she came up with something clever and somehow turned it into a positive (lots of bobbing and weaving!). And that’s exactly what you have to do, right? In life – especially at work – you constantly have to turn a negative into a positive, continually finding ways to overcome areas in which you do not excel.

But you can’t let your weakness define you – if you do that, you’ll never move forward. If you can’t answer that question by spinning it into a positive, game over. Maybe it’s a little cheesy, but a “weakness” is simply an opportunity to learn new things and build your skills. If you look at it as a flaw, you’ll never stretch and grow. Yes, it’s true that introspection is difficult, but the rewards of overcoming your weak spots are what will propel you into awesomeness. And get you the job.

– Libby Bingham

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Inside My Head Melissa

“The mind that is not baffled is not employed.”

I took a bath last week (let me add that the bath was in addition to multiple showers). It was therapeutic in an unconventional way. I was feeling a little down and felt like I deserved an answer from the world on what’s next, and I thought a bath would help me sort things out. I try to remind myself that I don’t “deserve” things, that I need to work for them and I get that, but I think it would be nice if while I was driving down the proverbial highway of my life a sign said “Get off here.” I don’t need to know exactly what I’m doing off that exit – just that I got off at the right exit.

So back to the bath. I’m sitting there with my face inches from the water so that my hair is gently swaying below the surface. All the delicate strands crisscrossed. They made, dismantled, and remade shapes (there was a real fractal-like quality about it) and I wanted this beautiful moment–where I was so focused on the gentle movement of my hair–to reveal something about what I should do next. Spoiler alert: it did not. Looking back, it would have been bizarre if my hair spelled “humble” like Charlotte’s web…that would have been life changing because it would mean that I have lost my marbles completely and I’m not ready to deal with that kind of change.

I wonder why at times when we feel lost, we also feel a little hopeless. I don’t have the answer to that and I don’t have the answer on what my next life move should be, but I reminded myself that it’s okay – that while I’m lost, I’m not hopeless. In a few weeks or months or maybe even next year (please, world – don’t make me exercise patience for that long) I won’t feel lost, but in the meantime, I keep coming back to these words and they are very comforting:

“The mind that is not baffled is not employed. The impeded stream is the one that sings.”

– Wendell Berry

– Melissa Grant

Categories
Career Karen

Make an 80% Decision

The difference between a great decision and a mediocre one is one word: doubt.

I’d rather make a great decision and be 80% successful with 20% room for error, than to second-guess my decision, doubt it and then do 100% n.o.t.h.i.n.g!

I’m someone who will default to performing at 80%. The advantage? Things get done. Not perfectly, but they get done.

In school, when children bring home a straight A’s report card they sometimes are rewarded with gifts and money and other fun things. However, when you come home with a straight B (minuses!) report card, I’m pretty sure there’s no bicycle in the driveway waiting for you.

But here’s the thing: I’d rather perform with B’s and get things done. The bicycle can wait.

Why? Because there’s no such thing as perfect. If I adopt that mindset, my stress levels will be through the roof.

I’m comfortable with an ‘almost perfect’ outcome.

For example, my company is being built on 80%. If I didn’t have this philosophy, I’d still be in Vancouver in a senior leadership role for a luxury footwear company working a 9-5 job. Well, actually, more like a 60-hour a week job.

Taking a leap of faith is like committing to doing something at 80%. The remaining 20% is the cushion, the room for error, the room for growth and, best of all, room for the “aha!” moments which arrive at my doorstep unannounced. The 20% buffer rocks!

My mistakes don’t define my success. However, they absolutely contribute to my success. My shortcomings, those moments where I find myself thinking “I have no idea what to do” turn into amazing lessons for my personal development.

Yes, in the moment or errors, I’m being stretched wayyyy out of my comfort zone. It’s like I’ve been thrown into a stormy ocean of “what to do ” waves! But I don’t drown. I’ve never drowned. Each time I’m in that “I don’t know what to do” predicament, a life vest of new thinking is thrown my way.

Those 20% flawed moments provoke me to ask this question: “What am I going to do about it?” and “How do I get through this?” They force me to look beyond my limited understanding, to seek out help and ask for insights. I read more, explore more and research more. That 20% flaws create an “uh oh” in me that forces me to think. And when I take time to think, I’m welcoming life to teach me. I am a student. I open myself to knowledge and understanding that far surpasses my limitations.

My 20% mistakes keep me motivated and, in turn, I remain true to my original commitment: “Get it done.”

If one of the principles enveloping my business is, “Karen, you’ll figure it out. You’re 80% ready, go for it. Get it done.” then the 20% room for error plays an essential part and empowers me all the more.

Why are we worried about doing something at 80%? Our reputation? Our ego? Why do we put so much pressure on ourselves to function at 100% in our decision-making and in our execution?

Quite frankly, the only way you can do anything at 100% is within a team context. When I was fortunate to lead an incredible team of managers at John Fluevog Shoes, I felt like we were unstoppable energy with limitless possibilities. My 80% contributed to someone else’s 80% and so on and so on. A team of 22 people performing at 80%, well, do the math. The beauty of teamwork and leaning on each other, knowing that I can only get straight A’s if I do it with y.o.u. is unbelievably empowering, life-giving and successful. Together we join our flawed performances, we weave a tapestry of unique fabric and create a masterpiece.

Embrace your 80%. Embrace his 80%. Embrace her 80%. And let’s fill in each other’s gaps.

Don’t be afraid of the 20% errors. It’s only 20%. Life’s too short to be uncertain. Be a great decision maker. Stay the course. Get it done. Learn. Grow. #pressrepeat

– Karen Thrall

*also published on www.karenthrall.com

 

Categories
Awesomeness in the World

Fourth Place

I was meeting a friend for lunch last week and my walk there took me through a park. It was a warm enough day in January that there were a lot of people out and about (or maybe it wasn’t that warm and people were just thrilled to be out of their homes after our big snow storm. Either way…). There was a group of 7 people who caught my attention – presumably two mothers and their five kids. (Okay, after considering this last sentence, maybe it wasn’t that warm out. If I had multiple children at home during a snow storm, I’d be out whenever I could, regardless of the temperature!) One child was being carried and the other four girls were running around while their caretakers kept close watch.

In their playing, the four girls were racing to an imaginary finish. The first one crossed and yelled out, “I’m first!” She was followed by the second and third girls who also eagerly claimed their places with shouts of glee. Finally, the fourth – and seemingly youngest – caught up and triumphantly shouted “I’m fourth!” with as much pride as the first three. In that instant, she made my heart happy with the way she viewed the world. She wasn’t sad about being the smallest or coming in last. Instead, she was delighted with her finish – she placed FOURTH, after all! And what struck me as equally impressive was that her fellow racers didn’t tell her she lost or correct her fourth place finish to a last place finish – they all continued on to whatever adventure was next, happy to have completed the race.

This whole exchange happened in the span of less than a minute, but stuck with me for the rest of the day (and into this week, clearly). I was delighted by the joyous statement of fact, free from any judgement along with it. It made me wonder when we lose that – when do we stop seeing fourth place and start seeing last place? Others may be quick to point out our shortcomings, but I so much prefer this girl’s way of seeing the world and her place in it. I think we could all stand to be a little kinder to ourselves. Focus a bit more on the facts and a bit less on the judgement. See a few more fourth place finishes and a few less last place finishes. This was a wonderful reminder to me and I hope sticks with me until I get the next reminder.

Here’s to all our fourth place finishes!

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Awesomeness in the World Karen

We Are Not Immune to Hope

We must accept finite disappointment, but never lose infinite hope

– Martin Luther King, Jr.

We are not immune to hope.

Regardless of your circumstances, you will find a whisper of hope. We must find this hope in every aspect of our lives.

Never dismiss hope.

If there’s any topic I want to petition, it would be in contending for the richness of living a hope-filled life. Hope is what takes us out of muck and chaos. Hope is what drives us to rise above our challenges.

Disappointment can dry up our optimism. What does disappointment sound like? Here are a few examples:

  1.  “It’s not fair.”
  2. “Why am I the only one who…”
  3. “I knew it was too good to be true.”
  4. “I can’t believe…”
  5. “I doubt it’ll happen.”
  6. “I’m worried…”
  7. “I expect.”
  8. “I regret.”
  9. “I don’t trust…”
  10. “I am discouraged.”

How many of these phrases have you thought or said over the course of your life? Take inventory.

If your hope has waned, reclaim it today. Why? Because hope is a cup of cold water quenching your thirst. Ensure hope is in the rhythm of your daily life. It is a gift for you.

Here are few examples of what hope offers.

  1. Gratitude: Find what you’re grateful for.
  2. Encouragement: Ask someone for encouraging words.
  3. Community: Lean on others and they will prop you up.
  4. Love: Love conquers all doubt. Receive love from loving people.
  5. Acceptance: Let go of needing to know the outcome. Ride the wave.
  6. Expectancy: Open yourself up to what might be possible.
  7. Clarity: Find what you truly value and what you deeply desire.
  8. Vision: Illuminate your eyes to see something bigger than yourself.
  9. Trust: Know that something good is waiting for you.
  10. Wonder: Believe like a child. Learn like a child. Trust like a child.

This all belongs to you. Every day.

And one more thing, when you surround yourself with hope-filled people, they are contagious.

– Karen Thrall

*also published on www.karenthrall.com

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Inside My Head Melissa

It’s Okay!

I often look at the New Year as a fresh start. A time to make resolutions, and, quite frankly, get my shit together, but this year I didn’t write a single resolution down. I didn’t want to beat myself up if I didn’t work out three times a week. I didn’t want to feel like a failure if I stress cried. And I certainly didn’t want to have a piece of paper floating around reminding me that I had accomplished exactly zero things. Not this year. I cruised into the New Year with a drink in my hand and zero resolutions in my planner. And I was only momentarily bummed when I realized we were an hour behind in Chicago and people there don’t watch the ball drop in Times Square. Not going to be bummed out this year by things out of my control! Instead, I watched a deep-dish pizza be dropped out of a window and hoped it wouldn’t be a euphemism for my year.

Well, it’s mid-January and I. am. bummed. I think a more accurate description is feeling unmotivated. Can I blame it on the cold? Or perhaps the recent disappointments that seem to be hiding around every corner at a certain location in the NW corner of DC? I can definitely blame a percentage of it on my American Airlines refund being pending for the last few weeks.

Okay, so back to the resolutions…I’m not writing them down, but they swim around in my head because the New Year is as good a time as any for setting good intentions. Instead of disappointing myself, I am keeping things a little more realistic this year. I’m going to try and be more on top of my commitments, be a better friend, and have a little more self love. And if I slip on one of these, then I’m okay with that. It’s okay! This year my resolutions are to do the best I can, to ask for help, and to be okay when things go awry.

I can have all of the best intentions in the world and goals galore, but I probably will not achieve them all and I’m fine with that.

To 2016 – I hope it’s a year where we all continuously get back on the horse, even if that metaphorical horse hides all winter and is replaced by Malbec and nap time.

– Melissa Grant

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Career Libby

What’s Next?

It’s a new year, and with that comes all kinds of interesting newness: new resolutions, new sweaters, new opportunities. But with newness also comes change, and change is scary. Yes, it’s exciting; yes, I should embrace it, but man, it’s scary.

It is possible that within the next month or so, my life will be very different than it is now. I’m not sure how I feel about that. Part of me is dreading it – I have routines and things that I do and don’t do – I like it. But I’m also ready for more – changes at work, changes of those routines that I love, changes in my family dynamic.

But what if it all goes south? What if the changes are “worse” and my new routines are rote rather than reassuring? What is my obligation to this change? Do I have to like it? How long do I have to adjust to the change?

So, here’s the thing…I’m not sure I have a choice: I am not affecting change in my life, change is happening to me. So what’s the difference?

The difference is that I have to step up – I have to meet the change head on and make it work for me the best I can. It means more work on my end and it also means more unforeseen factors for which I can’t prepare. It also means that it is extra exciting – nerve-wracking, in fact – and that the rewards may be even greater than they would be if I had chosen a path myself.

As I tell my son, the only thing you can control is your attitude: you need to make the best of whatever situation you find yourself in or all you’ll have is a bad experience. So I’m embracing this change. I will race towards it hoping to catch it off-balance and have it fall into my arms, out-of-breath and grateful. I will make it work for me.

Wish me luck.

– Libby Bingham

 

 

 

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Awesomeness in the World Karen

The Theme for Your Year: What is it?

Every year, I present myself a theme. I reflect in December, in preparation for the year to come, and ponder the resource and gift I want the new year to bring me.

I’ve been doing this for approximately 10 years, and I have yet to be disappointed.

When a theme is in the forefront of my mind, I remain incredibly aware of the world around me. It creates a childlike wonder and an anticipation. It gives me permission to ask the dreamy question, “what if?”

My yearly themes break down my guardedness and stretches me out of my comfort zone. My themes create adventures I would never experience if it wasn’t for my intention to stay true to my objective.

It’s not too late to ask yourself, “what is my theme for 2016?”

Reflect on what you want your theme to be. Then say yes to it.

Here’s an important tip: Don’t sit around and expect the experiences to fall from the sky. Once you know your theme, what will you do about it?

One year, my theme was “say yes.” Oh my, sometimes it got me into trouble, “hmmm…maybe I shouldn’t have said yes to that.” But my commitment was to “say yes” so, I said “yes.” For every great moment and opportunity that arose, there was only a smidgen of “shouldn’t have said yes” moments. The “say yes” experiences far outweighed the not-so-great ones. I would say only 2% of my “say yes” moments embarrassed me. But embarrassment doesn’t kill me, and actually make for great stories in the aftermath! Therefore, all my “yes” moments were a great experience and I don’t regret any of them.

Another year, my theme was “Let go.” Wowzers. This theme confronted my need to control (control is based from fear). So ultimately, it also confronted my fear. It was a liberating year of “letting go.” I was challenging myself continually and often re-visiting conversations, eating humble pie, and choosing to relinquish control. Each time I “let go” I was one step closer to being my care-free self. How rewarding!

What is your theme? Find it. Chase it. Embrace it.

– Karen Thrall

*also published on www.karenthrall.com

 

Categories
Awesomeness in the World

The Power of the Powerball

As the Powerball lottery jackpot climbs to an estimated $1.3 billion dollars and lottery frenzy takes over small talk (would you take the lump sum or amortized payout? What would you buy first? Who would you tell?), I can’t help but think about the collective power we have when we come together.

The basic premise of the lottery is simple – many people pay a small amount, the money pools together, and someone (or someones, as can be the case), gets lucky and wins a pile of cash. And millions of people do this, despite the fact that you have a better chance of getting hit by lightning or getting bit by a shark than willing the big prize, USA Today reports. But it’s that chance – however small it might be – that keeps people coming back and dreaming big.

That’s a whole lot of dreaming and and a whole lot of hope in the face of overwhelming odds, not to mention a whole whackton of cash (I’m pretty sure whackton in the technical definition when we’re talking about a jackpot this large). And that’s what got me thinking – is it possible to harness this power of collective hope towards something else other than our own personal gain? Maybe it’s cynical, but I don’t know that we can. I want to believe it’s possible, but I just don’t know. We complain about the taxes we pay, and if we don’t complain about the amount or the concept, we complain about the things “our” money is spent on. And given the choice, I don’t know how many of us would willingly turn our money over, even for the things we know we use everyday like roads and sidewalks, or the things we hope we don’t have to use, but are glad exist, like police and fire departments.

So if that’s the case, what’s the lesson in all this? We’re all greedy, sad souls who only care about ourselves? Well, I’m not that cynical. I think charities and service-based nonprofits are wonderful examples of people coming together to have an impact (and can restore my faith in humanity). My $50 alone can’t make a dent in helping those living with HIV and AIDS, but when I donate my money to organizations committed to providing food, services and education to those affected by HIV and AIDS, the impact of all our $50 donations can be awesome. And that has a positive impact on my community and I believe a community of healthy and happy people certainly benefits me.

And there are practical lessons for us as we look at our organizations. Sure, research tells us that involving people in the process creates better buy-in and success, and that’s true at every step of the way, from conceptualization to execution to post-evaluation. But the study of human nature that is the Powerball tells us that if people have even the slightest hope that their lives can be made better, they’re willing to part with some of their cash, and I think the same argument can be made for their time. I’m seeing that right now in a group I’m working with. They’re volunteering their time at work, above and beyond their normal day jobs, to improve the quality of life at work. And they’re accomplishing great things that no one person could do, even if it was their full-time job. It’s the power of the collective.

So with that, the idealist in me encourages you to spend that $20 on Powerball tickets and dream the hell out of the possibilities. But then, find another way to pool an additional $20 to help your community and be guaranteed a return on your investment (way better than being bitten by a shark!). And if you’re feeling especially motivated, take a look around you and find a place where harnessing the power of those around you can have an impact. You may not raise $1.3 billion, but the good news is that there’s a whole that can be accomplished on the way there.