Tag: Motivation

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Inside My Head Karen

I Cannot See Ahead of Me

Karen sightIt is a scary moment when you open a door and enter a room where all you see is darkness, and you know you have to maneuver through its corridors without a glimpse of light.

Which is scarier, not seeing or the unknown?

“You must do the things you think you cannot do.” – Eleanor Roosevelt

We like the comfort of seeing. We do what we do amidst light.

I see, therefore, I know.

I see, therefore, I can.

I see, therefore, I will.

But what if you can’t see?

I don’t see, therefore, I don’t know.

I don’t see, therefore, I can’t.

I don’t see, therefore, I won’t.

What if you have to proceed even though you can’t see or can only see dimly?

I cannot see, then I will learn.

I cannot see, then I will trust.

I cannot see, yet I will endeavor.

Sometimes we have to make decisions on what we can’t see and on the unknown. When these moments enter our lives, (and believe me they will enter your life) we need to change our posture from illuminated decision making to unknown decision making. No human is void of the unknown. Each individual story will have at least one chapter where they cannot see ahead.

There are no absolutes in the unknown.

Think about entering a dark room and trying to get to the other side. With careful steps and hands extended, we cautiously and nervously proceed. Some will enter the room and will turn right back around; the unknown is too frightening and they will opt out. Those that choose to attempt this challenge can only do it one way: one step at a time and with a tremendous amount of trust. And as each step moves you forward, you learn. Learning comes from what you just did, not what you are about to do.

Learn from your previous steps, trust the forward steps and choose to endeavor.

– Karen Thrall

*also published on www.karenthrall.com

Categories
Career Libby

Time to Move On

My brother is a commercial diver by trade (helmets not tanks). He has been diving for almost twenty years and working for the same company for the past seven. Last week he just up and quit. He was reluctant to tell my parents and me and my husband about it, feeling it was an irresponsible move, but he did finally tell us. Here’s our collective take on things:

  1. Always do your best. This is something instilled in both my brother and me from birth and the message is usually delivered as, “Don’t do a half-assed job.” When whatever your co-workers or company is doing impedes your ability to do your best, it’s time to move on.
  2. You can’t change other people. You can only change yourself and how you receive other people’s interactions with you. If you’ve done all you can to adapt to the inane behavior of others and they continue to encroach on your sanity, it’s time to move on.
  3. Safety is no accident. This is true no matter what, but when you’re on a boat in the middle of the ocean responsible for the lives of a five man crew, it transforms from catch phrase to survival tactic. My brother would never be considered lackadaisical, whimsical or frivolous. If he asks you to do something on his boat, you do it or risk an injury to yourself or others. If you’re working with people who do not value your health and well-being, it’s time to move on.
  4. Loyalty is a tricky thing. Loyalty is something you want in a business environment – some level of trust and comfort allows people to settle in and do their best work. It is helpful when building a team and growing an enterprise. But it must also be paired with buckling down, looking out for the company interests and a subordinated ego. If your boss chooses a slacker crony over your hard work and productivity, it’s time to move on.
  5. Your reputation will proceed you. If you work hard, do your best, act in the best interests of the company, and behave like a brand ambassador at all times, people notice you. And if you’re one of the few people behaving this way in your organization, they will notice you even more. If your principles are being compromised, it’s time to move on.

When you have a tried and true work ethic, when you have spent years gaining experience and expertise, when you have treated all your co-workers – those both above and below you in the organization chart – with respect, you can move on. Something else will come along. It would be ideal to have something planned before making a move, but life doesn’t always work like that. Though if you behave in such a way that people want to be associated with you, you won’t have any worries when you finally say, “Enough is enough. It’s time to move on.”

(P.S. Within a week of quitting his job, my brother got a new full-time job, a part-time job AND an offer for a seasonal job. He’s fine and we’re all very proud.)

– Libby Bingham

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Awesomeness in the World Karen

The Quiet Journey Of Transformation

Karen AcornAn acorn falls from the tree. The rains come and it begins to sink into the ground.

Below the surface in the quietness of earth, the roots push and break through its shell. The acorn grows; diving to deeper depths of soil. In this dark place where no sunlight exists, no one can see the purity of its transformation. In the dark, cold earth a seed is morphing, in small, gradual steps.

Seasons come and go; and one day, on a very special day, for the first time, the roots of this acorn surface. It enters sunlight as a fragile stem. Bruisable. Breakable. Vulnerable. In its appearance there is weakness; yet concealed is an unshakeable foundation. A fortified strength.

The investment that takes place in secrecy, births life to what will be a magnificent oak tree.

What once was merely one in a million is now one of a kind.

– Karen Thrall

* also published on www.karenthrall.com

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Awesomeness in the World Karen

Be Present with Confidence

Karen Confidence
Photo credit: Maja Petrih

My good friend of 12 years, Nathan Rooke, is an innovator, businessman, family man, humanitarian, philanthropist, and dreamer. Once a year, we would meet for lunch and catch up on our lives and our news. It was effortless to spend time with him. He’s a soaker of information. He listens with curiosity. He’s kind and encouraging. He’s also a thinker and a strategist and whatever he sets his mind to, he will only pursue it one way: with excellence. We would share both business and personal stories. We would talk about our dreams and aspirations. We would speak openly of our challenges. And with each visit, I would walk away inspired and grateful for his friendship. It’s not quantity that grows friendships; it’s quality. One of my favorite things about Nathan is how wonderfully present and engaging he is.

What happens when we are present? We are confident. We speak with confidence. We walk with confidence. We engage with confidence. When you are present, you carry a presence about you. This presence is what draws people to you.

Everyone has a presence. Yes, everyone. How do you present yourself, right now, today? Choose your presence. And stay true to it.  (“How do I do that, KT?”)

Well, you can start your day like this “Today I choose to be present with everyone I come into contact with. Everyone matters today. I will show humans that I am present. They will see it in the way I look into their eyes. They will feel it in the warmth of my kind smile. They will know it through my kind words. They will experience me simply being the best me. All I know is, when I am present, I exude a presence that positively impacts others.”

Please don’t ask me to contextualize this for you. You decide. You choose. What are your favorite yous? Live you – today.

How well do you engage in the moment, with the people standing in front of you? How easily distracted are you from what is presently happening in your current environment?

As a business leader, there are added benefits to being present with your presence. To list a few off the top of my head: camaraderie with your colleagues; happy staff who feel valued; heightened productivity; and teamwork in daily operations. When we are not vying for position, and we are content with our present place, our authority increases. Authority is the permission to ‘be’ who we are in the position we are entrusted with.

When we are engaging, we activate our inner-confidence. With inner-confidence is the contentment that, who we are, right now, is perfectly perfect. With this peaceful assurance, we can humbly walk in authority. What do I mean by authority, since there are many definitions? The one I am referring to is the power to influence others, especially because of one’s commanding presence.

Who would have thought that the simplicity of being present can magnify our confidence; our confidence enlarges our presence; our presence expands our authority; our authority heightens our influence; and our influence increases our impact.

The times I am most inspired by people are in conversations that emerge because we are effortlessly present. In these moments, gold nuggets transpire and my day is doused with inspiration.

To those I have been in contact with either serendipitously, momentarily, seasonally, or lifelong journeyers: thank you for being present with me. You have no idea the type of impact you have when you share your presence with me. Thank you for choosing to be present with your presence. Don’t stop. It created a magic between us that can only be manifested through your inner-confidence. To the ones I have not yet met or not yet come into contact with: I look forward to encountering your presence.

World renown author, Wayne Dyer, writes, “Stop acting as if life is a rehearsal. Live this day as if it were your last. The past is over and gone. The future is not guaranteed.”

– Karen Thrall

*also published on www.karenthrall.com

Categories
Career Inside My Head

Choices

I’ve been thinking about choices a lot lately.

Scratch that. I’ve always thought a lot about choices. Probably because I’ve never been very good at making decisions, since ultimately, choosing one thing means not choosing another. That’s the part I have a hard time with. I’m pretty good about knowing what I don‘t want, but there are so many interesting possibilities out there that it’s really hard to narrow down what I do want.

In high school, I ran myself into the ground because I couldn’t choose – I was one of a handful of kids who got permission to be on the swim team and participate in the fall musical. I juggled track practice and the spring play. But let’s be clear, here – I was fine at all these things. Not great, but fine. It wasn’t like I was a huge talent and the show wouldn’t go on without me (was Villager #2 really critical to the plot?). But as fine as I was, I really liked all these things. I wanted to be a part of them and enjoyed having these experiences in my life.

I don’t have trouble letting go of things I’ve tried that have no interest for me (softball, the flute, Girl Scouts). I enjoyed all these things just fine, but they didn’t hold my interest long-term. In college, I knew I wasn’t going to be an engineer or a math professor, so I dutifully completed my math and science requirements and moved on. But I couldn’t narrow down my interest in the liberal arts, so I double majored in communications and political science and minored in business administration. And now as an adult professional, I’ve finally settled on consulting as my career so I can work with lots of different people and organizations.

Clearly, I have trouble choosing.

A friend recently shared this blog post, Work-Life Balance is Absolutely Bogus by Deirde Maloney. And while I don’t necessarily think I have trouble with work-life balance specifically, the first truth she asserts is that there’s no such thing as having it all. Maloney writes:

The idea that we can “have it all” if we just get better at time-management or set some boundaries is a fallacy. When we try to squeeze our never-ending list of activities (and relationships) into a given day, our time and energy run out. We wind up doing a bunch of things partway. Which means we do some things well and some things … not-so-well.

I’d like to think I’ve gotten a little better about life balance since running myself into the ground in my high school days, but Maloney’s words ring true to me – trying to squeeze it all in means that quality of work and the quality of the time spent suffer. We have to make choices about what we want to do well and there’s just no way to get around that. And that’s just the reminder I need when I start to think about all the things I might be missing out on. It’s probably not a coincidence that the one sport in which I excelled was skiing and I devoted myself fully to that sport for the entire season. So as I think through the choices I make, I need to stop thinking about what I might be missing and start thinking about what I want to do well and let that guide me.

What do you want to do well?

Categories
Awesomeness in the World Libby

Rumer Has It

I recently was gifted a Glamour magazine (July 2015) – not my usual fare, but I found some real value in it: negotiation tactics, pastels are in this summer, and Rumer Willis is kind of awesome. I missed the season of Dancing With the Stars (DWTS) where Rumer won the coveted disco ball, but I wish I hadn’t – her article (Dancing Queen) hit on some things that I’m still trying to learn a whole quarter of a century after she’s gained the insight:

  1. “Comparison is the thief of joy.” This Teddy Roosevelt gem is something that Rumer’s mom, megastar, Demi Moore, told her when she was growing up. It’s a good one – there’s always someone smarter/richer/prettier/funnier/more successful than you are; if you spend all your time lamenting whatever you are not, you’re wasting a lot of time being unhappy. Find your awesome and embrace it!
  2. “Fear is a really debilitating emotion.” Being scared of failing, looking the fool or not being “enough” can keep you from enjoying your life and trying new things. Rumer overcame her fear enough to go on national TV to do something she’d never tried, she of no dance or athletic background (“…or even worked out much…”). Oh, and she won.
  3. Inspiration can be found lots of places. Scout and Tallulah, her little sisters, both inspire her to turn down the negative noise – their bravery has helped her ignore a constant barrage of nasty comments on the Internet. I don’t know Scout and Tallulah, but I have found a little inspiration in Glamour magazine!
  4. Beauty is in accomplishment. Rumer talked about how beautiful she felt after having completed her first competition dance – not because of the pretty costume or having her hair and make-up done, but because of how hard she’d worked and having overcome her fears. This has led to a stronger sense of believing in herself.
  5. Stop being mean. This is something that almost every child has heard, but as adults, we sometimes forget. In the age of Internet anonymity, cruelty has become easier, but it hurts just as much. Think of what we could all accomplish if we stopped being mean and started being supportive. If you can’t think of something nice to say, don’t say anything at all!

– Libby Bingham

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Awesomeness in the World Karen

How Bad Is It, Really, When We Fail?

Karen Fail
Photo by Daniela Cuevas

There is nothing idealistic or romantic about failing. It is part of life. It is humbling. It is discouraging. It depletes us (for a moment), yet reminds us (if we so choose) to remain relentless.

How bad is it, really, when we fail? Is it really that awful?

Hurts our pride, sure. Creates embarrassment, yes, okay. Reminds us we’re at least giving it our best shot, absolutely!

Failure is the omission in our performance; the state of inability; a giving way under stress; a lack of success; a falling short. (gee, thanks, Mirriam-Webster, rub it in a little more…)

We can view our shortcomings as opportunists or with defeatism. Listen carefully to what I’m about to write – I need your full attention!

DO NOT QUIT! DO NOT GIVE UP! You’ve come this far. You are so close. To what? To progress, to the outcome you desire, to fulfilling what you believe you are to do. Remain steadfast. Persevere. Hang in there. Surround yourself with cheerleaders.

If you focus on a plant and cultivate it, water it, weed it and nurture it – it will grow. To what extent? We’re never quite certain. But we are certain it will grow. Ask yourself, “Instead of quitting, is there opportunity for just a little more room for growth?” If there is room, even an inkling of forward progress, then do it!

Your character is not in question. This has nothing to do with character. Failure is not associated with our character. Failure is associated with our attempt to try. This is solely about performance (an action), and performance lends itself to immeasurable opportunities.

Look back on your timeline. How far have you come? Has there been progress? Then, I petition you, keep going!

You don’t know yet what that missing piece is. But you will find it. It may take some time, and that’s okay. It might come about through a big “aha” light bulb moment beaming from your brain! It may come through a passing comment you overheard. Maybe you’ll figure it out through reading, writing, learning, analytics or research. You may find that “clue” in the quietness of contemplation, through nature or outdoor activities. You get the gist! There is a missing piece. Pioneer that you are, you will figure it out.

Which club do I want to belong to? The club that has paved the way for us newbie ‘failurites’ to believe it’s possible. Check out what these greats have to say about failure!

*****

Winston Churchill said “Success is going from failure to failure without a loss of enthusiasm.”

Michael Jordan said, “I’ve missed more than 9000 shots in my career. I’ve lost almost 300 games. 26 times, I’ve been trusted to take the game winning shot and missed. I’ve failed over and over and over again in my life. And that is why I succeed.”

James Cameron said, “There is room for failure; there is no room for fear.”

Thomas Edison said, “I have not failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work.”

J.K. Rowling said, “Failure is so important. We speak about success all the time. It is the ability to resist failure or use failure that often leads to greater success. I’ve met people who don’t want to try for fear of failing.” 

*****

Don’t be afraid to fail. Chances are, there will be moments it happens. And that’s okay. Note: I said “moments” not a “lifetime.” Failure is temporary.

A perfect path has already been trodden upon. A new path requires the forerunner to carve the clearing. C’mon forerunner, carve away!

– Karen Thrall

* also published on www.karenthrall.com

Categories
On the Job

Celebrating: It’s Serious Work

Last Friday, I was fortunate enough to be part of an amazing team celebration. This is a group I’ve been facilitating and they’ve accomplished some amazing work over the past year. It’s a smallish team of a dozen or so folks who have worked closely together on beginning to shift their organizational culture. And I say beginning not because they weren’t effective or didn’t finish what they started, but because culture work is a long, long, long road (did I mention it’s a long process?). It was a great group, though that’s not to say we didn’t have our bumps and bruises along the way. Culture gets to the very thing we all hold near and dear – our values. And conversations about our values and what we value in the world are incredibly personal. They can’t be anything else, especially if they’re honest. But through those bumps and bruises, this team got to know one another in a way that they hadn’t had the chance to before. The result was incredible – a high-performing team who worked made significant progress and genuinely enjoyed each other.

When it came time for us to wrap up our work together, we had a couple things we needed to do. One, we wanted to review our work from the past year and make sure we’re setting up the next iteration of the team for success. Two, we wanted to take stock of exactly what we had accomplished and the impact it had. Often times, you can’t see the progress you’ve made while you’re in the middle of it, but once you stop to look back as see how far you’ve come, it’s incredible. And finally, in the middle of sharing advice and taking a look at what we’d done, we really needed to celebrate. I believe celebrating is both the most important component to a team’s progress and the most often overlooked step. And with this team, it was simple. The team really valued each other, which made planning the celebration easy.

We had a more formal wrap-up meeting the office, but then we got off campus for a good ol’ fashioned happy hour celebration. While happy hour is usually fun, this one was special. This was a group of people who were not just willing, but excited, to spend their Friday night together. After a long week in the office, this team valued each other so much that once the work week was officially done, they still chose to spend their time together.And that’s amazing to me. I feel honored to have been a part of this team and they’ll always have a special place in my heart for that very reason.

Celebrations don’t have to be big and elaborate to be meaningful. Celebrating can be a hand-written note, a cup of coffee, a small gathering of friends or an end of the week happy hour. What’s most important is that you make the time for that celebration, whatever it may be. What do you need to celebrate today?

Categories
On the Job

The Power of One Word

Earlier this week, Libby and I taught a course on facilitation for the American Society of Association Executives (ASAE). It was a great group of engaged and thoughtful participants. If you’ve read any of my posts, you know my favorite part of all the sessions I do are the gems from the attendees – the power that comes from a group of people willing to share their thoughts and experience is truly amazing. And this session was no exception. While we were sharing tips and tricks, one of the attendees shared her one word exercise. It’s simple and can be used at any point during a meeting: each attendee shares one word to sum up their thoughts. It can be a feeling about where the project is, an item to suggest for the next agenda, a thought on the how the meeting went…you get the idea.

I love this tool. I used to volunteer for a suicide hotline and in the training of new listeners (that’s what the hotline volunteers were called), we focused heavily on empathy and feelings, and this was one of the tools we used. At the end of each training session (and some of them were pretty intense, as you can imagine), each listener had to share one feeling word to sum up where they were in the process. We heard a lot of nervous, anxious, apprehensive, excited, overwhelmed and so on. It helped us as trainers get a sense of where the trainees were in their journey, and it also helped us all practice using feeling words. Having to select only one word really made us all focus. We all had a lot of reactions, thoughts and feelings during a session, but being forced to narrow it down to one word really made you think. Very often, I was energized by the team in the room and the commitment they’d made to be there. I was hopeful for our community, given the number of people who chose to spend their time this way. And I was grateful to be a part of it all.

Bring reminded of that exercise earlier this week has reinvigorated me and put me into a different head space. What’s the one word I want to describe my day today? This meeting? This interaction? How do I want to feel about where I’m at? How I’ve spent my time? And what can I do to influence the one word people would say about their interaction with me? These are powerful questions and I encourage you to take the one word challenge. What do you want your one word to be?

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Awesomeness in the World Karen

Faith Can Be Painful

Karen FaithI’ve been thinking about the phrase, “Don’t lose faith”. In the Disney movie, Pocahontas sings “Just around the Riverbend”, and asks the following question: “Do you still wait for me, dream giver? Just around the river bend?”

In the New Oxford American Dictionary, faith is defined as “complete trust in someone or something.” Words affiliated with faith are: trust, belief, confidence, conviction, optimism, hopefulness and hope.

My close and dear friend, Heidi Cave, exudes the most faith of any person I know.  One thing she taught me – that I will never forget – is how painful believing can be; yet no matter how painful, one must never stop believing.

Heidi survived a devastating car accident that took the life of her friend and left her severely burned, costing her the loss of both legs from the knees down. She went through months of recovery at the Vancouver Burn Unit. She was fighting for her life on a daily basis. Her memoirs can be read here: Fancy Feet. Now an author and key note speaker, Heidi tells her story of overcoming tragedy and clinging to hope. I am so proud of who she is and the inspiration she is to countless people.

Being part of her journey, I was privy to the hardships she would face. When we’d hang out or when we’d talk on the phone, she would express her frustrations. She would vent; cry; process. She would let me see her discouragement and her vulnerability.

Believing, hoping and not losing faith was a daily battle.  It was hard work for Heidi to survive; to try and walk again. It wasn’t easy to come to terms that, in a blink of an eye, her life was dramatically changed.

But here’s the part that, to this day, impacted me. The most amazing thing would happen! She’d put her prosthetic legs back on, stand back up, and try again. She taught me that emotions are temporal. They are real, yes. But they are fleeting. Yet, she never dismissed the emotional impact of her trauma. She taught me that what we feel in the moment is not what defines us. Sure, go ahead, feel every ounce of it. And when you’re finished, remember that it’s the heart and character of what we do next that is foundational to faith.

What did Heidi do next? Every time, Heidi stood back up. With passion in her eyes, she would show us again and again that her faith never lost any ground whatsoever. Yes, there were moments of discouragement, but her fighting faith superseded all emotions.

Faith is intense determination. Faith can be painful. It is ugly sometimes. However, faith – true faith – is relentless. Faith is the conviction to keep your eyes on the mark and keep pressing forward. Faith provokes in us a tenacious spirit. Heidi is my role model in witnessing what faith truly looks like. Heidi believed she would walk again. Heidi believed that a brighter life awaited her. Heidi believed what was just around the river bend.

It is with great love and admiration and loyalty that I write about my extraordinary comrade, Heidi Cave. Thank you for showing me what “Don’t lose faith” really looks like.

– Karen Thrall

also published on www.karenthrall.com