Tag: Personal Development

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Inside My Head

10 Year Reunion

Over the weekend, I attended a retreat focused on our holistic lives as women – the connection between career, love and wellness. It was a valuable and restorative weekend and a chance to meet some fascinating women. One of the first exercises we did to kick off the weekend was to envision our ten year reunion as a group. We were to meet three new people, but rather than talk about where we are now in our lives, we were to tell them what we’d been up to since we last saw each other in 2015. It was an interesting twist on an introduction activity and got us started on what we were there to do.

I realize that for many people, I may have just described your worst nightmare. Not only an ice-breaker, but the same ice-breaker done three times. And while I do tend to enjoy a good ice-breaker more than the average person, I especially loved the opportunity to do this three times. We were encouraged to use this chance to go dream shopping. You could use the same update three times and fine-tune a dream you’d already done some thinking about, or you could start over from scratch each time and tell and completely different story about where your life had gone. I moved to Vancouver, northern California and then was bi-coastal. I continued my consulting business, started a new business and then combined them both by the third time. As for my colleagues, there were lots of trips, new babies, new business ventures and some exotic new home bases.

Future visioning is certainly nothing new and you may not have a group of new people to meet, but there’s something incredibly powerful about saying these words out loud. A trusted colleague, a friend, partner or parent can be a great sounding board to try out your own future update. What would you dream? What’s been rattling around in your head that deserves to be heard? Or is there a decision you’ve been on the fence about? Giving voice to both side of the decision can be helpful. Where could you be in ten years?

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Libby On the Job

Planning

At my office, we are in the midst of our annual planning. This may be annoying to some, but I find this exercise kind of fun! Here are my top five reasons I love planning:

  1. It’s an opportunity to review what’s been accomplished both individually and collectively. This is an important exercise as it reminds you of what you’re capable of on your own and as a team – some back-patting is something we all can benefit from now and again!
  2. It’s paid time to dream about fun things that you might be able to do in the future.
  3. Having a plan at work can allow you to plan in your personal life, too – now that you have an idea of what you’ll be doing when, you have a general idea of how much time each project will take and when your busy times in the office will be. This allows you to figure out when the best time to take vacation, go on that professional development retreat or volunteer at your child’s school. You can keep the stress level on an even keel all year long!
  4. Planning is a chance to evaluate your resources and articulate reasons for why you’re doing what you’re doing…and what you’re NOT doing. A blueprint is a great thing to go back to at review time, too!
  5. You get a year-long worthy to-do list…check, check, check!!

So, what’s your plan??

– Libby Bingham

Categories
Inside My Head Karen

Your One Sentence Summary

If you could take 6 months off with unlimited resources, what is the first thing that comes to your mind?

1. _____ Rest and relax and enjoy not having any pressing responsibilities
2. _____ Plan an outdoor excursion: _____________________________________
3. _____ Enjoy your community with a ‘staycation’
4. _____ Invest in your hobby: _____________________________________
5. _____ Work on house projects or renovations: _________________________________
6. _____ Spend more time gardening and being in your backyard
7. _____ Visit family and relatives
8. _____ Travel the world: ______________________________________
9. _____ Try something new: ________________________________________
10. _____ Volunteer for a humanitarian cause: _______________________________________

Place this list in your order of preference.

Did you do it? Pause. Don’t read anymore until you’ve filled it out.

Ready?

What are your top 4? What are you bottom 4?

Question: What is this saying about you? Write down 5 things.

This says/shows that I….
1. _________________________________________________________________________________
2. _________________________________________________________________________________
3. _________________________________________________________________________________
4. _________________________________________________________________________________
5. _________________________________________________________________________________

There are core values we live by that are so woven into the deepest parts of our being that they never slumber and never go away. They are so part of us that sometimes we need to be reminded that they want to live on the outside, not just as a dreamer on the inside.

If you could sum up your five statements and turn it into one phrase about yourself, explaining why these phrases are so important to you, what would you write?
_______________________________________________________________________________________
_______________________________________________________________________________________

Okay, one last question.

How will you live the one-sentence summary today? This week? This month?

Don’t lose site of how you’re designed. It is a living spring bursting inside you, the fountain of your youth.

You don’t need six months off to live out what lives inside you. You can do that anywhere, anytime with anyone.

When I did this exercise, I resolved once again something that I’ve always known. I reflected on my ‘summary’ sentence and made a fresh commitment to myself to keep it alive, not only on the inside, but in who I am in this world. It is a gift to me and a gift to others; that’s the beauty of core values – they create wonderful energy in our environment, culture and community.

– Karen Thrall

*also published on www.karenthrall.com

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Awesomeness in the World Melissa

Are You Having a Good Time?

From a New York Times essay titled “The Myth of Quality Time” by Frank Bruni:

“People tend not to operate on cue,” Bruni writes. “At least our moods and emotions don’t. We reach out for help at odd points; we bloom at unpredictable ones.”

This line was referenced on the NYTimes homepage as a lead to the greater essay. It resonated with me instantly. I get along wonderfully with my parents and siblings. I’m always a little shocked when I find out friends don’t communicate with a sibling who is only a few years older or younger. However, when scheduled family times approach on the calendar for upcoming weekends, or worse, holidays, I find myself dreading this time. I panic a little. I wonder where we are going to eat, will the restaurant have food my mother likes (she’s vegan), will they have beer that my stepdad likes (only stouts these days), what will I put on the itinerary (what if they hate it), and how many times will we be insincere. We’re tough on each other, but we all bruise easily. The phrase “you can dish it, but you can’t take it” should be our family motto. I certainly heard it enough growing up.

I love the suggestion that “…our moods and emotions [don’t work on cue].” I’m persistently anxious when my parents are in town. I ask them if they are having a good time upwards of 5 times a day. And I know that must be obnoxious, but I just want to make sure they are happy, when, in reality, I’m making everyone stand on their tiptoes to force a good time.

I need to think of ways that are more spontaneous to show them how much I love them – more than mundane texts, and more than the weekly phone call. I need to ask them about their days, their passions, and what they want to accomplish in the next year. I need to surprise visit them on a weekend that is very much unplanned. I need to finally ask my sister why her nickname for me is Regina.

Back to Bruni. I wrote the above paragraphs before reading the essay. Now, having read it, I encourage you to read it as well but if you’re short on time below is my favorite excerpt:

“With a more expansive stretch, there’s a better chance that I’ll be around at the precise, random moment when one of my nephews drops his guard and solicits my advice about something private. Or when one of my nieces will need someone other than her parents to tell her that she’s smart and beautiful. Or when one of my siblings will flash back on an incident from our childhood that makes us laugh uncontrollably, and suddenly the cozy, happy chain of our love is cinched that much tighter.”

– Melissa Grant

Categories
Career Libby

Back to School

As of this week, summer is officially over. My son has been in school since August 31, but we went on a family trip to the beach last week and now it really feels like the end. It makes me feel a little sad, but I also embrace the seasonal transitions, both personally and professionally.

Personally, I’m getting back into my routine: less cocktailing and more working out, along with less staying up late and more getting up early. Professionally, I need to do the same thing.

September is the start of our fiscal year. We tie our performance reviews to the start of the fiscal year so that we can see whether or not we met our goals for the prior year organizationally, departmentally and individually. I think it’s a decent process – it allows for reflection and a kind of kick start to the new fiscal year…a back-to-school bump if you will!

As I begin to reflect on what my department, and specifically what I, accomplished last year, it’s pretty impressive: we brought in almost $8M in revenue by holding over 150 programs. Out of that 150, twenty-one of them were my programs – all face-to-face and some lasting 2 hours, others 5 days…not too shabby for a part-timer. (I won’t say that I contributed significantly to the revenue numbers, but I helped!)

I think it’s important to periodically check-in with yourself and review your body of work. Work can sometimes feel like, well, work, so understanding all that you’ve accomplished is essential to maintaining forward progress and staying energized. It’s okay to be proud!

You should also be able to articulate your role on the team. While your individual successes are what make you shine, your part in elevating the entire department or in helping the organization meet their goals is what makes you valuable. Together, these are the things that keep you employed, but they are also the recipe for increasing your own self-esteem and a metric for whether or not this job is still the right fit for you.

– Libby Bingham

Categories
Inside My Head Karen

Asking Why?

I want to expand my knowledge, so I added a trivia APP on my phone. The app is Quizoid, “Get smart with your phone.” I like it. I’m actually learning tidbits of information that I hadn’t known previously, and I’m enjoying it.

I’ve never considered myself an intellect – still don’t. Yet, I long to know more. I crave it. My curiosity is one of the highest values I uphold. I don’t ever want to lose sight of the “why.”

As little children, we start life asking “why?”

There is something so pure in wanting to know more.

When I ask “why?” I start exploring. I listen differently. I observe differently. I engage my curiosity. I engage that childlike wonder.

I think sometimes we ask “why” as a cynic or critic rather than with sincerity. What would happen if we let down our guard and asked “why?” from a place of openness instead of defensiveness? Curious, childlike wonder may just surprise us.

– Karen Thrall

*also published on www.karenthrall.com

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Inside My Head

Always On and Always Connected: What Does It Mean?

I got my first cell phone in college, back when Nextel phones were still a thing and I paid by the minute, paid long distance charges, and certainly didn’t text. And I only bit the bullet after a stalled car made me late for work and I didn’t have a way to let them know I wasn’t going to be on time. This was strictly an emergency phone (though perhaps the definition of emergency shifted as the cost of my minutes went down…but I digress). About 5 years after that, I got my first smart phone through work and I’ll admit to being thrilled because as a young professional, it was a sign that I was important (the naivete of youth is adorable, isn’t it?). Fast forward to 2015, and 92% of adults in the U.S. now have cell phones. And don’t even get me started on kids having phones…

This leaves us facing etiquette challenges that just simply didn’t exist ten or fifteen years ago. The Pew Research Center, a subsidiary of The Pew Charitable Trusts, recently released a report, Americans’ Views on Mobile Etiquette. It’s fascinating stuff.  I share this not to reminisce about the good ol’ days before cell phones ruined our lives or propelled us into the greatest technological era of all time (depending on your view), but I do find our attitudes interesting when it comes to the appropriateness of using our phones.

When asked for their views on how mobile phone use impacts group interactions, 82% of adults say that when people use their phones in [social] settings it frequently or occasionally hurts the conversation. Meanwhile, 33% say that cell phone use in these situations frequently or occasionally contributes to the conversation and atmosphere of the group. Women are more likely than men to feel cell use at social gatherings hurts the group: 41% of women say it frequently hurts the gathering vs. 32% of men who say that the same. Similarly, those over age 50 (45%) are more likely than younger cell owners (29%) to feel that cellphone use frequently hurts group conversations.

And while those 82% said that using phones may hurt the conversation, 89% of adults who own a cellphone say they used it at their last social gathering. 89%. Yowza. Yet, before we mourn the loss of personal connection, of those 89%, 78% reported using their phone for what Pew termed a “group contributing” action: posting a video or photo about the gathering, sharing something that happened, looking up information to contribute to the conversation or connecting with someone at the gathering. My, how the times have changed from Zach Morris’ Saved by the Bell phone…

The report goes on to talk about always being connected, the types of activities for which we use our phones and how much usage we tolerate in different public spaces. As you would expect from a research study, Pew simply presents the facts. They don’t chastise us for our behavior, nor credit cell phones for bringing us together across the globe. Rather, they present the information and let you decide what it means to you. And it’s certainly had the wheels of my brain turning since I read it. What does your connectivity mean to you? And what do you think it says to others?

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Inside My Head Melissa

Being Present

I wanted my first post to be good, honest, and something you’d like to read, but last week held a lot of events that even when written down and made flashy with em dashes and explanation points ended up being not very good at all. The phrase “Should I write about this?” has been said multiple times over the past week, but my mind has been elsewhere, too foggy to concentrate on that question. I’ve been constantly going over the to-do list in my head and adding new bullets and pushing other “to-dos” further into the future.

“Why don’t you write about that?” The “that” in that question is the list I made late last week, which was not a to-do list or not intended to be a to-do list, but a things-I-absolutely-need-to-be-happier list. This list included everything from “I need to be more self-confident” to “I need to buy a vacuum” (really opening up to myself on that last one, I know).

Perhaps it’s the endlessness of summer heat, but I am having a hard time staying present and it’s wearing on me. I am overwhelmed, I have a pinch of sadness, and I am desperately looking forward to October – a month that currently has few to-dos.

There’s something about the DC humidity that causes me, in very real and very inconvenient ways, to lose my mind. I find it hard to focus. I get easily upset about minor things. I cram too much into every day, or I do nothing at all. It’s a challenge to stay present – to hear stories, to remember conversations, to appreciate sensations: sights and touches, the heat of a September afternoon.

My roommate, Ben, came home last week to find me mid list making and close to tears. He had work to do and I had a to-do list that felt miles long, but instead, we went for a walk. We left the apartment with no destination and ended up getting ice cream.

“Can you believe,” I said “with everything we have to do tonight, we’re doing this?”

I took a spoonful. It was a flavor made with spices and the man behind the counter had informed me that despite being cold, it would taste scalded.

I ate for a moment, and thought. I closed my eyes. I lost myself in the act of tasting, which, for only a moment, seemed to require my full attention.

“Are you getting it?” Ben asked.

I looked up. Yes, I said, I was.

– Melissa Grant

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Awesomeness in the World Karen

What are Your Non-Negotiables?

I’ve been thinking about my line of work and what makes me so unbelievably passionate about what I do. As I reflect, there are four non-negotiables that are important to me when working with teams, leaders and organizations. I’d like to share them with you.

  1. PEOPLE: People Matter. Right now, right here, you and/or your team are all that matter to me. I listen: intently. I’m captivated by every word you say. Your words, how you think, how you process, how you strategize, how you lead – it all matters. And I have all the time in the world for you. When I went through therapy several years ago, we were limited on time. The last 10 minutes of the counseling session I’d begin to shut off. I was aware that we were coming to the end. People need time.
  2. HEART: The heart of your business/organization/leadership matters. It was passion that started you on your path. You were full of vision, enthusiasm, confidence, hope, determination, tenacity, and courage. It’s important that this never be compromised; that the richest qualities you and/or your team possess remain strong and unwavering. It is humans that are leading organizations. It is humans that are living their lives. It is humans to whom I am committed.
  3. UNDER-PROMISE: My on-going commitment is to under-promise. I often ask myself, “what would I want?” This is an important question because it keeps the focus on your success. By keeping this question in the forefront of my mind, my hope is that I will deliver outcomes that exceed your expectations.
  4. AVAILABLE: At any time, we’ll explore whatever potential worries, stresses and uncertainties that may arise that could thwart your progress. At any time, I will be your sounding board and help you process any hurdles you may come across so you can resolve issues and frustrations quickly. At any time, I will facilitate any brainstorming or strategic thinking that you require. At any time, I am available to help formulate tasks and timelines to make sure the ball keeps rolling. At any time, I will coach your processes so that they’re executed exactly the way you want it; the way you like it; and the way you need it. At any time, I will help resolve unsettledness, conflict or misunderstandings. At any time, I am here for you. Period. I will support you…. at any time.

What are your non-negotiables? What is the contribution you bring to your work that is vital to the team’s success? Where do you shine? What matters to you? Which or your skills have you invested in? What are your work principles? Why are you valuable?

– Karen Thrall

*also published on www.karenthrall.com

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Awesomeness in the World

Workplace Unicorn Sighting!

We all know you’re not supposed to judge a book by its cover, but I’m not immune to judging an article or post by its title, and I was absolutely going to click on “11 Signs You’re the Workplace Unicorn.” Amazing. I love the thought of a workplace unicorn in the first place, but 11 signs that I could actually be one? Magical!

When I was talking about this with my husband, he questioned the unicorn. “So you’d be a mythical creature who doesn’t actually exist?” he asked. I chose to go with a loser, less strict interpretation of unicorn – a rare and amazing creature, sought be everyone. And if you look long enough and believe hard enough, you might just find it.

With that in mind, I’ll admit to feeling a little sad that the behaviors and actions listed here are associated with rare (okay, okay…mythical) creatures. Things like sharing credit and making others look good should be what we all strive to do. And anticipating needs of your boss and colleagues? That just makes my life easier, too! While some may argue that a few of these 11 signs (suggestions?) are too touchy-feely and don’t belong in the workplace, I beg to differ. I firmly believe that the more we care about each other at work, the more successful our companies and organizations will be. The more invested I am in my colleagues, the more invested I am in coming to work and enjoying my time here. And the more I enjoy my time at work, the more productive I’ll be and you’ll hear me at those networking events talking about how much I love my job.

So go on…be rare and amazing. Prove the haters wrong and show them that workplace unicorns are totally a real thing.