Category: Awesomeness in the World

Categories
Awesomeness in the World Gabriel

Good Luck, Gabriel!

At the beginning of this year, I introduced you to Gabriel Oigbokie and he was kind enough to share some of his inner thoughts with us (my personal favorite was the connection he and I shared with Chipotle’s paper bag wisdom). It’s been a while since we’ve heard from Gabriel and I didn’t want to leave anyone hanging. It’s been a busy past few months for our friend. As he eluded to back in March, Gabriel was thinking about packing up and moving across the country to California. Well, that thinking turned to planning and planning turned to moving and Gabriel set off for California last month.

This is the sort of situation for which ‘bittersweet’ was created. I am sad to not have Gabriel right across town and know I can find him hanging out at John Fluevog Shoes in Georgetown. However, I am trilled for this new chapter in his life and so proud of him for taking a huge leap into the unknown. I’m also hopeful we won’t have heard the last from Gabriel here. I know he’s headed for big things and hopefully he’ll still be willing to share his voice with us here from time to time again. In the meantime, I hope you’ll join me in wishing Gabriel all the best in his new adventures. We love you and can’t wait to see what you do next, friend. xo

 

Categories
Awesomeness in the World Karen

Worthy of Love

A few years ago, I dated this guy who, after 7 months, said to me, “I don’t have feelings of love for you.” I was quite taken back. I had not heard that phrase before.

“You have no feelings of love?”

Like, I love pizza. I love this movie. I love golf. No feelings of love?

It was important to him that I know this ‘truth’.

My truth, in response to him was: “I need to be with someone who loves me. I want to be loved.”

The irony is we continued dating.

I conjured an enabling theory that could keep me in this dating relationship: “He doesn’t know how to love. He’s been so hurt. Be patient, Karen.”

A few months later we parted ways. His intentions were clear and it continued to play out: this relationship was not a loving relationship and would never be one.

Karen Thrall could not ‘fix’ this. I could not ‘change’ this. I could not act better, try harder, do more, serve more, give more.

I struggle with being an enabler. It’s something that rears its ugly head on occasion. I’ve come a long way in progress; but it still shows up every so often. It’s a pattern I created in my life from a very young age. Perhaps it will be a life-long journey. I hope not.

However, I look back and look at my present and celebrate, because I can see how far I’ve come. I can see how much I’ve grown, matured and advanced. I’m a work in progress. As long as I continue to grow and learn, this bane will be a gift to me.

A few days ago, the memory resurfaced. It’s a sentence that stuck and I’ve allowed it to fuel feelings of unworthiness: to believe I was not worthy of love.

Why would I allow my inner-person to embrace these feelings of unworthiness? Why would I allow my self to entertain the notion that I’m not worthy of love? How did this lie creep into my subconscious, into my life?

The story I share is just a story. It happened once. In my entire life, I’ve only heard that phrase once. How could I possibly allow one phrase to have that kind of power?

I was chatting with my sister about it last night. Musing upon this memory and the effect it had on me.

She said, “Starting now, it no longer has an effect. It’s that easy. The bottom line is, you’re worthy of love. Choose it. Make the switch immediately.”

It’s exactly what I needed to hear. Replace the lie with truth.

I am worthy of love.

I chose to share this with you, not for your sake, but for mine. Today I reclaim the truth that I’m worthy of love. And I say to Karen, “Please forgive me for letting feelings of unworthiness cloud your heart, your soul and your hope.”

I am worthy of love. Not for what I do, not because of who I am, or what I say. I am worthy of love because I am worthy of love. There are no stipulations or criteria. There is no merit system. There is no checklist. There are no conditions. There are no hoops for me to jump through. To be worthy of love is the beauty of being human. When you’re born, you are instantly worthy of love. This is what I truly believe. And I stand strongly on this truth. Not wavering, not clouded.

How people treat you with regards to your worth does not define your worthiness.

You are loved. You are worthy of love.

I’d like to share this gift of truth and self-acceptance with you. May it touch your heart as it has touched me this morning.

Today I shed a memory that does not help me shine. I shed a memory that darkens my self-worth. I shed a memory that caused me to question my worthiness. And today, I re-launch the solid, non-negotiable truth that sets me free to truly live: I am worthy of love.

– Karen Thrall

*also published on www.karenthrall.com

 

 

 

 

Categories
Ashley Awesomeness in the World Uncategorized

5 Things for which I’m Thankful

It’s only fitting that this is the time of year we stop and reflect on the things that make us warm and fuzzy inside and the things that make our days a little brighter. I’ll spare you from the warm and fuzzy (husband, family, my sweet pup — you get the picture) and focus on some of the not-so-glamorous little things that make my days better, brighter, easier.

  1. My new iPhone 6S – It’s a digital world, folks! My iPhone is about a month old now, and I am thrilled with the battery life improvement — no more “oh no! my phone is going to die!” end-of-day stress. I’m also thankful it’s working beautifully (knock on wood), despite being dropped in the toilet for 2 seconds at a dive bar a few weeks ago; of course only after all the wisdom of the internet plus a bag of rice (and a good sanitation session).
  2. unroll.me – My friend and colleague, Melissa, has been frightened by the number of email notifications my phone displays in that scary red circle. It scares me too, so when she mentioned unroll.me and the daily roll up, I knew I should probably give it a shot. I finally did this weekend and I’m already sooooo happy my inbox is less frightening.
  3. Sparkling water – I’ve been addicted to sparkling water for awhile, and debated whether or not to just buy a soda stream. I couldn’t justify it so my go-to is the Poland Spring brand from Whole Foods. When I feel like treating myself though, I buy the beautiful, glass bottled Whole Foods Italian Sparkling Mineral Water, preferably strawberry.
  4. Cetaphil Moisturizing Cream – My colleague and I have been sharing skin care products and routines recently and this will forever be my favorite daily use product. Unscented, non-oily, no frills really — just straight up moisture. Go get a tub of this stuff right now.
  5. Nylabone Oral Care dog treats – I know what you’re thinking…what in the world? But hear me out. Who wants a snuggly 9lb teddy-bear pup with stinky breath?! My sweet pup is almost five years old and the older he gets, the more his dental health declines. Totally natural, but a challenge nonetheless. We brush his teeth to keep plaque at bay (have you ever seen this process? It’s a sight!), but these dental treats have been knocking it out of the park. They’re like doggy crack, too. He’s obsessed.

So there you have it; some of the tangible, bizarre things I can’t live without and for which I am truly thankful. I hope you, too, will stop to appreciate some of the little things this season. And I hope the warm and fuzzy stuff is making you grin ear to ear, too!

– Ashley Respecki

Categories
Awesomeness in the World Uncategorized

Caring What Others Think

So often, we’re told not to listen to what others say about us – not to worry about what they think, pay no attention to their opinions. And while that’s good advice for some things, I think we miss out on some valuable intel. Set aside, for a moment, the notion of constructive criticism or looking for the gem of good feedback delivered in a mountain of shit. I’m not talking about those things (at the moment, anyway – I think we can get a lot out of feedback, even if it’s not delivered in the best way. But that’s another blog post from another day.).

What I’m talking about is what our friends and trusted advisers see in us. I wouldn’t have gotten into the type of consulting I do now if it hadn’t been for a friend who had a job and thought I could help her out. She described me as being good with teams and getting buy-in and consensus. These aren’t the primary ways I would have described myself, but she was right. I am good at those things, even if they don’t pop into my mind as the things I’m best at (they are now, thanks to her).

We know we’re usually our harshest critic, but why is it so hard to listen to those around us who have seen what we’re capable of? It’s easy to believe the bad things, but so much harder to believe we have talents we may not even know about or think of as strong skills. You value your friends’ judgment, so why not value it when it’s about you and your amazingness?

I was recently approached about a job opening and I believe I know the perfect person for it, so I connected the employer and the candidate. It’s not quite a job the candidate has done before, but there’s no question in my mind that she would knock it out of the park in this position. She was hesitant as we talked about it. As we talked through the skills and experience I thought she could bring to it, I think I was able to convince her, but it took some doing. From the outside, I don’t even see how that’s possible – this job was made for her. But the job title was making her uneasy. The job title was just the title. It didn’t get to the heart of her skills and passion, which were absolutely what the employer wants and needs. I’m happy to report they’re in discussions now, so we’ll see where it goes.

So the moral of the story – don’t listen to the haters, but listen to the people who have your back. They know your talents and abilities and want the best for you. And you have great taste in friends, so listen to them.

Categories
Awesomeness in the World Karen

Reciprocity

When strolling on the beach, it’s not uncommon to greet someone with a smile and be greeted in return with a smile. A word describing this kind of interaction is reciprocity.

Last week, I needed to focus and get some work done efficiently. Sometimes I get a bit of cabin fever because my office is in my home. I love working from home but, by the afternoon, I sometimes need to relocate to get those last few hours of work completed.

So I took my computer to a great local restaurant, Rimel’s Bar and Grill DelMar, which is walking distance from my home. I ordered a glass of wine paired with delicious calamari and ahi poke. I sat in the corner of their bar area and set up camp: laptop, notebook, pencil and… eraser (have to write in pencil. KT does a loooot of erasing…).

It was my first time visiting this restaurant. I’d been wanting to check it out. (I’ve only lived in the area for 6 months)

As I looked around, I see that I’m the only one working. Every guest was socializing and enjoying vibrant conversations. Great vibe. I was happy I chose this place.

In the mix of head down and fingers on the keyboard, I’d glance up on occasion to enjoy some people watching.

The server, at first, didn’t know what to think of me. She was polite and not accustomed to having someone with their laptop working in this fabulous dining facility.

I smiled. She half-way smiled. I asked her a few questions about her menu. She answered politely.

As the time went by, she’d check on me, ask me how the food was or if I needed anything else. Each time I warmly smiled, engaged her with friendly light-heartedness, and let her know I was appreciative of her service.

By the time I paid my bill, she had warmed up to me. Her smile matched mine. Her friendliness matched mine. Her comfortableness matched mine.

Reciprocity is a wonderful gift we can freely share with every human on this planet. It supersedes all language barriers, all cultures, all lifestyles; igniting environments of human-kindness.

What is your favorite way of expressing reciprocity? We will each have our own unique expression. Live yours every day.

– Karen Thrall

*also published on www.karenthrall.com

Categories
Awesomeness in the World

The Power of a Compliment

I got the nicest compliment yesterday. A woman I worked with said she though I was awesome and that being around me made her want to be a better person. Wow. Her words floored me. It was incredibly kind, and I was overwhelmed with the sentiment. I value her opinion and this sort of comment coming from her absolutely made my day.

I share this not because I want you to know how awesome she thinks I am, but because I am once again reminded of the power of our words. She took 30 seconds out of her day to extend our email conversation and let me know she appreciated me, and it changed my whole outlook. 30 seconds of appreciation. It can be that simple to alter someone’s day. Sure, there are lots more elaborate ways of showing someone we appreciate them, but it doesn’t have to be so grand. It’s easy to skip that step and assume people know we think they’re awesome. But even if they do, who doesn’t like to hear it every now and again?

“Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a battle you know nothing about.”

30 seconds of your life won’t win the battle for anyone, but a reminder of awesomeness is a powerful weapon in any battle. Who can you share 30 seconds with today to let them know how much you appreciate them?

Categories
Awesomeness in the World Karen

It Was Luck!

When I read Good To Great, it really resonated with me when Jim Collins wrote about great leaders believing in luck – they believe in good fortune.

“Later, when asked to discuss the factors behind the enduring nature of the transformation, he said, ‘The first thing that comes to mind is luck…I was lucky to find the right successor’.” – Jim Collins, Good To Great

Sometimes the answer to our success is “we were fortunate.”

I wish for you a waterfall of good fortune in your professional lives and aspirations; that you will be in the right place at the right time.

Keep chasing your longing. You just never know what’s around the corner. None of us ever really know.

And with regards to your vision – anything is possible. Surround yourself with great people. Look to those around you as invaluable contributors and positive influencers.

All the great leaders – and there are many – give “luck” or “good fortune” a lot of credit for their success.

Based on the insights these influential leaders offer, the beautiful part of good fortune means nothing is impossible. It’s truly possible for you to encounter good fortune.

We only know what life offers us right now, right here, in this moment. We don’t know what tomorrow holds. We don’t even know what will occur an hour from now.

When you happen upon good fortune, remind yourself how lucky you are. It doesn’t mean you are better than someone else, nor does it mean you’re more qualified or more experienced or more impressive. It means you were chosen in that moment, and that’s something quite wonderful to be thankful for.

Feeling lucky is not the same as being lucky. We can have a good feeling about something, but that doesn’t necessarily mean it will translate to good fortune.

When we happen upon good fortune, it’s the realness that favor knocked on our door unannounced, we answered the door and welcomed it in.

On a side note: to only carry wishful thinking is a deterrent to your good fortune.

“Diligence is the mother of good luck.” – Benjamin Franklin

Denzel Washington (I’m a fan!) also made this statement that I respect, “I say luck is when an opportunity comes along and you’re prepared for it.”

Continue being diligent, and keep yourself in a posture of preparation, and let’s see what unfolds for you. You just never know…..

– Karen Thrall

*also published on www.karenthrall.com

Categories
Awesomeness in the World

What’s Wrong with Being Confident?

Jennifer Lawrence has been in the news lately for a post she wrote for Lenny, Lena Dunham’s latest creation. The post is titled “Why Do I Make Less Than My Male Co-Stars?” It’s short and to the point, which is that pay gap is still very real, regardless of the scale (it’s possible Jennifer and I may be in different tax brackets…). And it’s not just the pay gap – it’s the expectations around our behavior. When it comes to negotiating, sharing our ideas or stating an opinion, we’re too busy trying to be liked to be as effective as we could be. While certainly not a universal truth for all women everywhere in every scenario, this issue obviously hit close to home for many of us, given all the attention her post is receiving.

I’ve been pretty neutral on most things Demi Lovato up to this point, but her newest song is my jam. And while this might seem wholly unrelated to Jennifer Lawrence’s post, bear with me. Confident is the second release off Demi’s upcoming album of the same name. It’s no secret that I love a good pop anthem, and this song doesn’t disappoint. But in the middle of the strong bass line and ridiculously catchy tune, she asks a good question – what’s wrong with being confident? Her chorus goes a little something like this:

So you say I’m complicated
That I must be outta my mind
But you’ve had me underrated
What’s wrong with being confident?

It’s a good reminder for me to not let others define who I am (plus, the song is just fun). And that’s Jennifer’s point, too – we define our value. As women, more often that not, we need to remind others that they’ve underrated us. Yes, it’s not fair and it’s ridiculous that we need to do any reminding at all. But until that changes, there’s not a damn thing wrong with being confident.

Categories
Awesomeness in the World Karen

Leaving An Impression

It was early in the morning. I decided to take the train to work. I wasn’t doing very well. I felt sad and chose to sit in the back corner of the car so I could stare out the window while wearing my invisible-you-can’t-see-me cloak.

The doors open and I watched her push his wheelchair onto the train. They must have been in their late 70’s, possibly early 80’s. An elderly Chinese couple. A bald man whose face was round and jolly. His eyes were content. His countenance peaceful. Her hair was white and coiffed in a classic 60’s rolled voluminous style.   She was wearing a tweed, three-quarter length coat with white gloves and her satchel rested on her wrist. Her lips painted red and her eyebrows lined perfectly.

I felt love. Love for these two. I watched them from a distance. They caught my attention. I was instantly smitten.

And something interesting happened. My spirits lifted.

Somehow, these two strangers, who not once glanced my way nor had any idea I was there, brightened my day.

My grey cloud vanished. My perspective cleared up. I smiled warmly. I was given a second chance to a new day.

They brightened my world. Not with anything they said or did – just their presence captivated me.

Quite amazing the power we have, and we rarely are aware of it.

You leave an impression – whether positive or negative – you leave an impression. And you influence your environment.

Never underestimate that you’re capable of brightening the day of those you come into contact with.

Every day matters. Anytime, anywhere, anyone. Someone will be influenced by you. You matter.

You matter to people like me.

To the strangers in this world, thank you for being you.

 

– Karen Thrall

*also published on www.karenthrall.com

 

 

Categories
Awesomeness in the World Melissa

Are You Having a Good Time?

From a New York Times essay titled “The Myth of Quality Time” by Frank Bruni:

“People tend not to operate on cue,” Bruni writes. “At least our moods and emotions don’t. We reach out for help at odd points; we bloom at unpredictable ones.”

This line was referenced on the NYTimes homepage as a lead to the greater essay. It resonated with me instantly. I get along wonderfully with my parents and siblings. I’m always a little shocked when I find out friends don’t communicate with a sibling who is only a few years older or younger. However, when scheduled family times approach on the calendar for upcoming weekends, or worse, holidays, I find myself dreading this time. I panic a little. I wonder where we are going to eat, will the restaurant have food my mother likes (she’s vegan), will they have beer that my stepdad likes (only stouts these days), what will I put on the itinerary (what if they hate it), and how many times will we be insincere. We’re tough on each other, but we all bruise easily. The phrase “you can dish it, but you can’t take it” should be our family motto. I certainly heard it enough growing up.

I love the suggestion that “…our moods and emotions [don’t work on cue].” I’m persistently anxious when my parents are in town. I ask them if they are having a good time upwards of 5 times a day. And I know that must be obnoxious, but I just want to make sure they are happy, when, in reality, I’m making everyone stand on their tiptoes to force a good time.

I need to think of ways that are more spontaneous to show them how much I love them – more than mundane texts, and more than the weekly phone call. I need to ask them about their days, their passions, and what they want to accomplish in the next year. I need to surprise visit them on a weekend that is very much unplanned. I need to finally ask my sister why her nickname for me is Regina.

Back to Bruni. I wrote the above paragraphs before reading the essay. Now, having read it, I encourage you to read it as well but if you’re short on time below is my favorite excerpt:

“With a more expansive stretch, there’s a better chance that I’ll be around at the precise, random moment when one of my nephews drops his guard and solicits my advice about something private. Or when one of my nieces will need someone other than her parents to tell her that she’s smart and beautiful. Or when one of my siblings will flash back on an incident from our childhood that makes us laugh uncontrollably, and suddenly the cozy, happy chain of our love is cinched that much tighter.”

– Melissa Grant