Tag: Growth

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Libby On the Job

But What if I Don’t Like Turkey?

Happy post-Thanksgiving food coma regards! I had a lovely weekend with family, fun and food, and I hope you did, too. We spent Thanksgiving with my in-laws and it was a turkey-free environment – Grandpa prefers duck and since he’s hosting… It was actually delicious and I got a turkey fix on Saturday when we got back, but it got me thinking…what if you don’t like turkey?! How does that affect a certain fowl focused feasting holiday? What if you’re a vegetarian or just prefer a four-footed entrée?

Families look very different than they did years ago – they are no longer the two parent, 2.5 kid paradigm, so maybe the traditions that feature them are in transition as well. Maybe it’s possible to have a bonding experience full of gratitude over a ham or a brussel sprout casserole…why not? It’s about recognizing things for which you are thankful and spending time with people who are important to you – why should a bird who didn’t make the cut for our national symbol have to be the focal point for a holiday celebrating the saving of a bunch of buckle-wearing runaways by native people we thanked by giving them smallpox?

All of this is to ask…what’s your work turkey? Is there a project, program or person that is the focus of your organizational energy and it’s no longer working? Maybe your work family makeup has changed – new staff, new members or new clients – and you need a new focal main course for your efforts and energies. Don’t let tradition color your ability to make forward progress – ensure a meaningful family gathering by changing things up with a pork roast or baked lasagna, or try a new marketing tactic or educational delivery system – your Uncle Jerry will appreciate it. But no matter what you serve, don’t forget to say thank you.

– Libby Bingham

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Awesomeness in the World Uncategorized

Caring What Others Think

So often, we’re told not to listen to what others say about us – not to worry about what they think, pay no attention to their opinions. And while that’s good advice for some things, I think we miss out on some valuable intel. Set aside, for a moment, the notion of constructive criticism or looking for the gem of good feedback delivered in a mountain of shit. I’m not talking about those things (at the moment, anyway – I think we can get a lot out of feedback, even if it’s not delivered in the best way. But that’s another blog post from another day.).

What I’m talking about is what our friends and trusted advisers see in us. I wouldn’t have gotten into the type of consulting I do now if it hadn’t been for a friend who had a job and thought I could help her out. She described me as being good with teams and getting buy-in and consensus. These aren’t the primary ways I would have described myself, but she was right. I am good at those things, even if they don’t pop into my mind as the things I’m best at (they are now, thanks to her).

We know we’re usually our harshest critic, but why is it so hard to listen to those around us who have seen what we’re capable of? It’s easy to believe the bad things, but so much harder to believe we have talents we may not even know about or think of as strong skills. You value your friends’ judgment, so why not value it when it’s about you and your amazingness?

I was recently approached about a job opening and I believe I know the perfect person for it, so I connected the employer and the candidate. It’s not quite a job the candidate has done before, but there’s no question in my mind that she would knock it out of the park in this position. She was hesitant as we talked about it. As we talked through the skills and experience I thought she could bring to it, I think I was able to convince her, but it took some doing. From the outside, I don’t even see how that’s possible – this job was made for her. But the job title was making her uneasy. The job title was just the title. It didn’t get to the heart of her skills and passion, which were absolutely what the employer wants and needs. I’m happy to report they’re in discussions now, so we’ll see where it goes.

So the moral of the story – don’t listen to the haters, but listen to the people who have your back. They know your talents and abilities and want the best for you. And you have great taste in friends, so listen to them.

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Career Libby Uncategorized

Mindset and Success

My son, who is in second grade, is going to be taking some tests in the next few months; the results will determine whether or not he is eligible to be in a gifted and talented program moving forward. It’s a tremendous opportunity if he gets in, and my husband and I want him to be prepared, but he already is feeling a lot of pressure to succeed. We are trying really hard to put it all in perspective. We’re looking for practice examples so that the types of questions are familiar to him when he takes the test – not to “hothouse” him, but so that he’ll have less anxiety. In looking for those, my husband found a Ted Talk by Eduardo Briceño that expounds on the power of “mindset.” According to Briceño, people fall into one of two categories: fixed mindset or growth mindset. Apparently, if you have a growth mindset, you are better able to deal with losing/failing – you can turn it into a learning event and actually grow and get smarter.

We’re hoping to diffuse the pressure my son is putting on himself to do well by sharing this idea with him. In reviewing it and anticipating our conversation, it occurs to me that I could benefit from a deeper understanding of these concepts myself. In a recent post I talked about how I’m nervous about taking on some new areas at work and how this both frightens and excites me. I have always been a pretty high-achiever in life, but every time I am given a new skill to build or experience to try, I am rife with self-doubt. From a very young age, I have thought of myself as “unable to do math” – this is clearly an example of the “fixed” mindset. My opportunity to work on some new projects in areas less familiar to me is a chance for me to embrace the “growth” mindset. It isn’t fair for me to promote this to my kid without believing it myself. So, I am going to embrace it with abandon…and who knows? If it goes well, there could be a career in the mathematical arts in my future!

– Libby Bingham

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Karen On the Job

Market Research Gets a Rebirth Over and Over and Over…Again

How’s your company doing? Still doing the same advertising, marketing and promotional routines? How long has it been the same? What if you’re in a rut? And how do you know if you are in a rut?

Simple. Are numbers increasing, stagnant or decreasing?

Increasing? Then, you’re not in a rut.

Stagnant or decreasing? You’re in a rut.

It might be time for some market research again. A rebirth. I believe we should continually evaluate/assess our marketing strategies. Sometimes what used to work may no longer be as effective. That doesn’t mean the business is over, just means we look at it from a different angle.

(1)  Word of mouth is contagious and it’s your free advertising. Definitely do not compromise this one!! It’s a good idea for organizations to invest heavily in their customers. Your customers are your best sales people because they love what you offer and provide. Bottom line: they love you! They’re a fan! Are your customers spreading the love? Is their enthusiasm about your services and product infectious? Ask yourself, “What is missing in our organization that is keeping our customers from bragging about us?” Find out. Don’t dismiss any notion or stream of thought. Explore the wonderful possibilities that will emerge from your analyses. And remember, your employees are also your customers.

(2)  What is the goal you want? Be specific. Write it out. Share your goal EVERYWHERE!  And stay true to it. Dream about it. Think, strategize, brainstorm, analyze, plan, build – do whatever it takes (well, almost whatever!)! This business you launched was birthed from your incredible and extraordinary creativity. That very same creative resource will continue to grow your business. Your creativity is a key component to your success! Stick to one goal and stay tenacious until you’ve accomplished it. Your confidence is also fundamental.

I believe every organization needs to reinvent their public persona every 3-5 years. Keep it fresh! I learned this personal life principle from one of my best friends, Graham. It’s effective and provides a freshness to help you keep growing. Think about all the investment you’ve made to get you this far – it’s worth the time to look over your organizational map and see where you can explore a new way of thinking.

– Karen Thrall

* also published on www.karenthrall.com

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How to be Awesome Melissa

An Accountability Partner

I’ve been thinking a lot lately about how I often fall short with my follow through. I let my self slide on things I should be taking more seriously, mostly because the only person it affects is me (don’t let me get you wrong, I let others down too, and Ashley explains the feeling well here). I tell myself more often than I’d like to admit that it’s okay to push something to next week or next month seems like a fine time to finally start x. Perhaps you do it, too. If so, I’m glad I’m not alone.

There are a few items in my life that I don’t push around and these are items where people have an indirect dependency on me to be there. I go to work everyday because my team expects me to be there, and I go to German every week because I have classmates that count on me being there. But, and this is a big but, if I have to do something that isn’t a “necessary” then you can find me writing it down and putting “January 2016???” next to it. I then happily talk myself into the fact that January seems like a great time to start x, and yes Melissa, you can absolutely take a nap this afternoon and then proceed to nap in every room of the house for the rest of the evening. YIKES.

So I started thinking that I need to have more accountability in my life. I need to have check-ins on my progress, and that’s when I came across the idea of having an accountability partner. Someone to help me hold myself responsible for those important, but not necessarily urgent, items in my life.

I imagine that my accountability partner and I would check in weekly at a designated time to share our successes (as well as any setbacks). The hope is that when I feel myself slipping during the week I would remember to not make little compromises and then rationalize them, but to think of my weekly report, to remind myself to keep up with my goals, and to keep morale up for her so she also stays accountable.

A few items I’m thinking of including on my future accountability list include: monitoring how much I spend on clothing each month, how much progress I’ve made in my currently secret small-batch craft company, and perhaps parlaying accountability into work items, like purposefully checking emails at certain times throughout the day versus whenever my Outlook app pings me. Other items I think would be nice to add later on (and I imagine they can change monthly) include me time, hobbies, and even reading 50+ pages from a book each week.

Has anyone else tried this? If so, let me know your process, how you keep each other accountable, and what makes a great accountability partnership.

– Melissa Grant

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Awesomeness in the World Karen

It Was Luck!

When I read Good To Great, it really resonated with me when Jim Collins wrote about great leaders believing in luck – they believe in good fortune.

“Later, when asked to discuss the factors behind the enduring nature of the transformation, he said, ‘The first thing that comes to mind is luck…I was lucky to find the right successor’.” – Jim Collins, Good To Great

Sometimes the answer to our success is “we were fortunate.”

I wish for you a waterfall of good fortune in your professional lives and aspirations; that you will be in the right place at the right time.

Keep chasing your longing. You just never know what’s around the corner. None of us ever really know.

And with regards to your vision – anything is possible. Surround yourself with great people. Look to those around you as invaluable contributors and positive influencers.

All the great leaders – and there are many – give “luck” or “good fortune” a lot of credit for their success.

Based on the insights these influential leaders offer, the beautiful part of good fortune means nothing is impossible. It’s truly possible for you to encounter good fortune.

We only know what life offers us right now, right here, in this moment. We don’t know what tomorrow holds. We don’t even know what will occur an hour from now.

When you happen upon good fortune, remind yourself how lucky you are. It doesn’t mean you are better than someone else, nor does it mean you’re more qualified or more experienced or more impressive. It means you were chosen in that moment, and that’s something quite wonderful to be thankful for.

Feeling lucky is not the same as being lucky. We can have a good feeling about something, but that doesn’t necessarily mean it will translate to good fortune.

When we happen upon good fortune, it’s the realness that favor knocked on our door unannounced, we answered the door and welcomed it in.

On a side note: to only carry wishful thinking is a deterrent to your good fortune.

“Diligence is the mother of good luck.” – Benjamin Franklin

Denzel Washington (I’m a fan!) also made this statement that I respect, “I say luck is when an opportunity comes along and you’re prepared for it.”

Continue being diligent, and keep yourself in a posture of preparation, and let’s see what unfolds for you. You just never know…..

– Karen Thrall

*also published on www.karenthrall.com

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Inside My Head Karen

Where is Your Heart?

Where is your heart? As in, that on which your life centers?

Have you ever said the phrase, “My heart says one thing, but my mind thinks differently.” This is a common paradox for individuals wrestling with life.

How do you get your heart and your mind on the same page?

Time.

Allow room for time.

Always let your heart lead the way. But allow a timeline for your mind to get on board. Your mind needs time to wrap itself around your longings. It wants to be in agreement with you, but doesn’t know how and needs to find the answers to the what, why, when, and where. Your mind wants to cooperate. Your mind wants to ask questions. And your mind wants to argue with you – not to hold you back – but rather to help you come up with a game plan.

“You make it sound so simple Karen.”

It is simple. We over complicate things.

Take a sheet of paper and draw a line down the middle. On one side, write the words “What my hearts says,” and on the other “What my mind says.”

Compare notes, and then start making a plan. A compromise. A negotiation. A meet-half-way. A big picture. A timeline. Set goals. And accomplish each goal, one step at a time. When the mind and heart unite and cooperate, the adventure begins.

And guess what that adventure is? You begin to believe and trust with forward steps.

Where is your heart?

– Karen Thrall

*also published on www.karenthrall.com

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Career

What All the Cool Kids Know

It’s cool to know what’s going on. Nerd culture has gone mainstream and being unimpressed and unconcerned went out with flannel in the 90’s. And while fashion trends come back around, I sure hope it won’t be cool again to be uninformed. I like knowing what’s going on. I don’t mean in the annoying, all up in everyone’s business sort of way, but rather, in the way that I can easily make connections and know where to find information. Sure, it may sound altruistic, but let’s be honest. It makes things easier for me. I can figure out where to plug in to make sure my projects get the attention they need. I can get a new perspective or improve an idea I have when I consider someone else’s point of view or a new audience.

When we talk about communication and knowing what’s going on, it’s easy to point out what someone else isn’t doing for you – what they’re not giving you, how they’re not making it easy or what they’re not sharing. But in the middle of that, it’s important to take a look at what you’re doing that keeps you in the dark. Keeping your head down and staying at your desk is a great way to ensure you don’t know what’s going on. Ignoring readily available resources is just silly. Zoning out in a meeting is a sure-fire way to miss an important detail. I know we’re all busy, but how much time does it really take to read your company newsletter? Sure, it’s another logon to remember, but taping into your organization’s intranet or social media platform is a great way to access bits of information while you’re away from the office. And attending social events at work will help establish more personal connections, and we know we enjoy working with people we like. We also like to tell them what’s going on, ask their advice or share a challenge. And when people share with us, we learn.

Take it upon yourself to learn about what’s going on in your organization. Don’t wait for the formal updates or for information to come to you. Ask your colleagues what they’re working on. Include yourself in conversations as appropriate. Offer to help outside your area. Participate. Read. Raise your hand. All the cool kids area doing it, so don’t just sit back and wait. Make it your business to know what’s going on.

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Inside My Head Karen

4 Reasons We Get Upset

I was recently asked, “When we’re upset with someone, is it because we see our reflection in their behavior?” Sometimes, yes, but not every time.

There are four reasons we get upset with people.

  1. They mirror us.
  2. They hurt us.
  3. They harm us.
  4. They offend us.

THEY MIRROR US

This one’s a tricky one because it takes swallowing your pride to admit you see yourself in their behavior. How do you know if the annoyance, the nuisance, the irritation is a reflection of you? Ask yourself, “Have I ever acted this way?” Although you may have answered with a small, whispering “yes,” a yes is still a yes (sorry to break it to you). If you can identify ever so slightly with the negative behavior, find a position of understanding before resolving. If someone is reacting emotionally to you, and you have in the past reacted emotionally to someone else, how did you get over it? What did you need to help you resolve? Then offer that same helpful resource in resolving this conflict.

THEY HURT US

Hurt is a normal part of relationships. Your feelings can get hurt. You may feel misunderstood, rejected, overlooked, ignored, dismissed, patronized, insulted, provoked, challenged, the list goes on. This is normal. Being hurt is the lowest form of offense. We get upset if the car in front of us slams on their breaks, or we spill coffee on our shirt or the dirty dishes are still in the sink. If you experience hurt – good news! – it’s fixable and resolvable. Stay in it and figure out how to amend the situation. Avoid phrases like “You are” and “You never” etc. If someone hurts you, share the specific story of what hurt you. The story, not how it made you feel, is key to the resolve. If you only share how you feel it comes across as accusatory.

THEY HARM US

If a human being speaks threateningly to you, is physically aggressive, verbally aggressive, demoralizing, bullying you, demands submission, dominates you with fear, calls you names, and so on, you are in harm’s reach. And you need to seek help and you need to be rescued. Here’s the good news: you can stand up with confidence against aggression of all forms. You are a delightful human being worthy of love, respect and honor. You have one life to live, and your life is not at the mercy of a mean oppressor. Aggressive behavior is very intimidating and can quickly paralyze our thoughts and our ability to express our thoughts. You have a voice and your voice matters. Even the slightest verbal statement will liberate you. You can start with a simple phrase such as, “This is not okay with me.” Please seek out help.

THEY OFFEND US

When you feel a human offends you, find out why their behavior is offensive. For example, if they are making racial discriminatory comments, then yes, that makes sense that you’re offended. If it’s not that blatant, then perhaps they are offending your personal core values. For example, if your core value is that your words and actions match and people can count on you, but you have a friend that is unreliable and not following through on their commitments, then your values are offended. To resolve core value offenses, share your experience or story and share what is important to you and what you value. Find that shared value and try again.

– Karen Thrall

*also published on www.karenthrall.com

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Inside My Head Melissa

The Importance of Routine

By definition, routine is a series of actions that we repeat daily and without much thought. These repetitive tasks are often the most mundane moments of life, but for some, routine is sacred – a ritual that keeps life glued together.

I love the idea of having routines, of having a moment that is the same today as it was 10 weeks ago; there’s comfort in that, there’s solace in it’s simplicity. But I don’t have any. Every day is different, every morning and every evening are new terrain for me. I don’t know when it happened, but at some point I gave up on any semblance of structure (I don’t even set an alarm), but now I’m sitting here waving my white flag because I desperately need to create routines. I need to spend less energy wishing my life had order and more energy into creating order.

I googled “how to set routines” and the first result was “1. Wake at 4:30 a.m.” Well, that routine seems like it would require too much energy (how would I ever make it to noon, let alone dinner). I need to start smaller, but first, a confession: it is a rare occurrence that I wash my face before bed. It sounds downright glamorous to carve out 20 minutes at night where I light a candle, wash my face, brush my teeth, and then stretch. But goodness, how does one make themselves do that every night? Are routines something you have to force for awhile? Albeit uncomfortable, and possibly annoying?

I’m going to try a little experiment for the next week and do my best to hold myself to a nighttime routine. Routines are not created in a day, but for the next week I’m going to introduce a consistent pattern to my evenings in hopes that a little structure will leave me feeling calmer and more appreciate of the art of slowing down.

Here’s to hoping it sticks and to little victories.

– Melissa Grant