Tag: Motivation

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Inside My Head Melissa

The Importance of Routine

By definition, routine is a series of actions that we repeat daily and without much thought. These repetitive tasks are often the most mundane moments of life, but for some, routine is sacred – a ritual that keeps life glued together.

I love the idea of having routines, of having a moment that is the same today as it was 10 weeks ago; there’s comfort in that, there’s solace in it’s simplicity. But I don’t have any. Every day is different, every morning and every evening are new terrain for me. I don’t know when it happened, but at some point I gave up on any semblance of structure (I don’t even set an alarm), but now I’m sitting here waving my white flag because I desperately need to create routines. I need to spend less energy wishing my life had order and more energy into creating order.

I googled “how to set routines” and the first result was “1. Wake at 4:30 a.m.” Well, that routine seems like it would require too much energy (how would I ever make it to noon, let alone dinner). I need to start smaller, but first, a confession: it is a rare occurrence that I wash my face before bed. It sounds downright glamorous to carve out 20 minutes at night where I light a candle, wash my face, brush my teeth, and then stretch. But goodness, how does one make themselves do that every night? Are routines something you have to force for awhile? Albeit uncomfortable, and possibly annoying?

I’m going to try a little experiment for the next week and do my best to hold myself to a nighttime routine. Routines are not created in a day, but for the next week I’m going to introduce a consistent pattern to my evenings in hopes that a little structure will leave me feeling calmer and more appreciate of the art of slowing down.

Here’s to hoping it sticks and to little victories.

– Melissa Grant

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Inside My Head Libby

Believe in Your Damn Self

Last weekend I attended a leadership program designed to get women focusing on their dreams, feeling empowered and moving forward. While the target age demographic was well below my own, the energy was timeless. I was truly amazed at the drive and passion so many of these women exhibited – education, entrepreneurial spirit, fighting for equal pay, saying yes to both the personal and professional loves of their lives…wow. I am in mourning for my younger self and what I (maybe, I am quite lazy sometimes…) could have accomplished. Moving on…

Another impressive thing was their lack of fear – I’m not saying that they aren’t worried or feel some trepidation about doing something new, but they’re also comfortable with trying. They know that it might not work out, but they’re still going to make a go at it. And if it doesn’t work out? They’ll try something else – they know this isn’t their last shot, their only opportunity. How do they know? Because they’re making their own opportunities – they’re not waiting for something to happen to them, they are making it happen for them.

Last week on Project Runway, (spoiler alert!!) Laurie Underwood, 29, owner of design label Wanda Grace, was kicked off. Did she cry? No! Was she angry and bitter? No! Did she tell all the other contestants/friends not to cry for her? Yes! This was her final monologue as she cleaned up her workspace and turned out the light…

“This isn’t the end for me because I believe in my damn self. This does not stop my shine. There are other spotlights for Laurie Underwood…to be in and she will be there. I’m still writing my story and the best part is yet to come.”

Amazing. This is the attitude we should all strive for – to try new things that we think will make us happy. And if it doesn’t work out, we should chalk it up to experience, pick ourselves up and move on. Hell to the yes, Laurie Underwood and all you other ladies out there getting bossed up and finding your way!

– Libby Bingham

Categories
Awesomeness in the World Karen

Leaving An Impression

It was early in the morning. I decided to take the train to work. I wasn’t doing very well. I felt sad and chose to sit in the back corner of the car so I could stare out the window while wearing my invisible-you-can’t-see-me cloak.

The doors open and I watched her push his wheelchair onto the train. They must have been in their late 70’s, possibly early 80’s. An elderly Chinese couple. A bald man whose face was round and jolly. His eyes were content. His countenance peaceful. Her hair was white and coiffed in a classic 60’s rolled voluminous style.   She was wearing a tweed, three-quarter length coat with white gloves and her satchel rested on her wrist. Her lips painted red and her eyebrows lined perfectly.

I felt love. Love for these two. I watched them from a distance. They caught my attention. I was instantly smitten.

And something interesting happened. My spirits lifted.

Somehow, these two strangers, who not once glanced my way nor had any idea I was there, brightened my day.

My grey cloud vanished. My perspective cleared up. I smiled warmly. I was given a second chance to a new day.

They brightened my world. Not with anything they said or did – just their presence captivated me.

Quite amazing the power we have, and we rarely are aware of it.

You leave an impression – whether positive or negative – you leave an impression. And you influence your environment.

Never underestimate that you’re capable of brightening the day of those you come into contact with.

Every day matters. Anytime, anywhere, anyone. Someone will be influenced by you. You matter.

You matter to people like me.

To the strangers in this world, thank you for being you.

 

– Karen Thrall

*also published on www.karenthrall.com

 

 

Categories
Inside My Head Karen

Your One Sentence Summary

If you could take 6 months off with unlimited resources, what is the first thing that comes to your mind?

1. _____ Rest and relax and enjoy not having any pressing responsibilities
2. _____ Plan an outdoor excursion: _____________________________________
3. _____ Enjoy your community with a ‘staycation’
4. _____ Invest in your hobby: _____________________________________
5. _____ Work on house projects or renovations: _________________________________
6. _____ Spend more time gardening and being in your backyard
7. _____ Visit family and relatives
8. _____ Travel the world: ______________________________________
9. _____ Try something new: ________________________________________
10. _____ Volunteer for a humanitarian cause: _______________________________________

Place this list in your order of preference.

Did you do it? Pause. Don’t read anymore until you’ve filled it out.

Ready?

What are your top 4? What are you bottom 4?

Question: What is this saying about you? Write down 5 things.

This says/shows that I….
1. _________________________________________________________________________________
2. _________________________________________________________________________________
3. _________________________________________________________________________________
4. _________________________________________________________________________________
5. _________________________________________________________________________________

There are core values we live by that are so woven into the deepest parts of our being that they never slumber and never go away. They are so part of us that sometimes we need to be reminded that they want to live on the outside, not just as a dreamer on the inside.

If you could sum up your five statements and turn it into one phrase about yourself, explaining why these phrases are so important to you, what would you write?
_______________________________________________________________________________________
_______________________________________________________________________________________

Okay, one last question.

How will you live the one-sentence summary today? This week? This month?

Don’t lose site of how you’re designed. It is a living spring bursting inside you, the fountain of your youth.

You don’t need six months off to live out what lives inside you. You can do that anywhere, anytime with anyone.

When I did this exercise, I resolved once again something that I’ve always known. I reflected on my ‘summary’ sentence and made a fresh commitment to myself to keep it alive, not only on the inside, but in who I am in this world. It is a gift to me and a gift to others; that’s the beauty of core values – they create wonderful energy in our environment, culture and community.

– Karen Thrall

*also published on www.karenthrall.com

Categories
Jams

Sometimes You Just Feel Tired

‘Cause sometimes you just feel tired,
Feel weak, and when you feel weak, you feel like you wanna just give up.
But you gotta search within you, you gotta find that inner strength
And just pull that shit out of you and get that motivation to not give up
And not be a quitter, no matter how bad you wanna just fall flat on your face and collapse.

These are the lyrics to one of my new favorite jams, Eminem’s ‘Till I Collapse. It’s from his 2002 album, The Eminem Show, but it’s new to me more than a decade later. When Eminem first came on the scene, I liked some of his stuff, but wasn’t impressed with how much specific graphic violence showed up in some of his lyrics. I took a break from anything that I didn’t hear on the radio, but since the release of Recovery a few years ago, I’ve given his music another chance. This particular song was on at my boxing gym a few weeks ago and it’s become a new go-to to get me up and running, whether it’s for a workout, a little mid-day pep talk or just to get going in the morning at the end of a long week.

What’s your go-to pep talk jam?

Categories
Awesomeness in the World Karen

What are Your Non-Negotiables?

I’ve been thinking about my line of work and what makes me so unbelievably passionate about what I do. As I reflect, there are four non-negotiables that are important to me when working with teams, leaders and organizations. I’d like to share them with you.

  1. PEOPLE: People Matter. Right now, right here, you and/or your team are all that matter to me. I listen: intently. I’m captivated by every word you say. Your words, how you think, how you process, how you strategize, how you lead – it all matters. And I have all the time in the world for you. When I went through therapy several years ago, we were limited on time. The last 10 minutes of the counseling session I’d begin to shut off. I was aware that we were coming to the end. People need time.
  2. HEART: The heart of your business/organization/leadership matters. It was passion that started you on your path. You were full of vision, enthusiasm, confidence, hope, determination, tenacity, and courage. It’s important that this never be compromised; that the richest qualities you and/or your team possess remain strong and unwavering. It is humans that are leading organizations. It is humans that are living their lives. It is humans to whom I am committed.
  3. UNDER-PROMISE: My on-going commitment is to under-promise. I often ask myself, “what would I want?” This is an important question because it keeps the focus on your success. By keeping this question in the forefront of my mind, my hope is that I will deliver outcomes that exceed your expectations.
  4. AVAILABLE: At any time, we’ll explore whatever potential worries, stresses and uncertainties that may arise that could thwart your progress. At any time, I will be your sounding board and help you process any hurdles you may come across so you can resolve issues and frustrations quickly. At any time, I will facilitate any brainstorming or strategic thinking that you require. At any time, I am available to help formulate tasks and timelines to make sure the ball keeps rolling. At any time, I will coach your processes so that they’re executed exactly the way you want it; the way you like it; and the way you need it. At any time, I will help resolve unsettledness, conflict or misunderstandings. At any time, I am here for you. Period. I will support you…. at any time.

What are your non-negotiables? What is the contribution you bring to your work that is vital to the team’s success? Where do you shine? What matters to you? Which or your skills have you invested in? What are your work principles? Why are you valuable?

– Karen Thrall

*also published on www.karenthrall.com

Categories
Career Karen

Frustration is the Opportunity to Reinvent

Frustration is an indicator that what is going on in your life or at work is simply not “good enough.” It’s the opportunity to re-think and re-invent how you do what you do, why you do what you do, how you think, how you perceive and how you will move forward.

A phrase I say often in coaching is, “What are you going to do about it?”

Frustration is an indicator that something indeed needs to be done. Whether it’s a conversation, a plan of action, a new goal or a different perspective, something needs to be done.

Frustration = Opportunity.

Frustration = Something more and something better.

Frustration = Change, adjustment

Frustration = A sign that it’s time to reinvent!

Note the word “reinvent.” Not all change is dramatic or drastic. Not all change is cut and dry. And not all change requires you to choose between options. Often, change is as simple as a reinvention of your life.

For example, a New Year’s Resolution is not about dramatic change; it’s usually associated with incremental change; an adjustment to how we live or view our lives.

In the business world, frustration is good news! It is a barometer on how a company moves forward. When frustration hits, stop! Evaluate. Assess. Analyze. Examine. Explore. Get feedback. Research. Find out more information. In other words, do something about it!

Create a think tank or have a group of friends over and begin to address the area of frustration you and/or your organization is experiencing.

We are to move through frustration, not settle for it.

– Karen Thrall

*also published on www.karenthrall.com

Categories
Awesomeness in the World

The Thing That Only You Can Do

I was having lunch with a friend recently and she was telling me about a new coach she was using – for her dating life. I admit, this was the first time I’d heard of a dating coach, but the more I think about it, the more I love the concept. I fully believe in career coaching and personal training, and that doesn’t even get into the other areas of expertise I need in my life. I find value in doctors, attorneys, plumbers, landscapers, movers, designers…why would a dating coach be any different? We can all learn something from someone who has devoted their life to a specialty that’s different than ours.

I had a boss in my past who used to say “do the thing that only you can do,” and it’s a piece of advice that’s stuck with me. While I would like to think I’m well-rounded, I can’t possibly be good at everything. Or even most things. Realistically, I can discover and select a few things and do them exceptionally well and leave the rest to other folks. It relates back to the concept of spending 10,000 hours on something before we can be considered an expert at it. We can’t possibly spend 10,000 on very many things, so it only makes sense to look to the people who have spent 10,000 hours in an area where we need help.

Even if we don’t have 10,000 hours logged yet, we can still be on the lookout for the things that only we can do. At work, there may be a meeting that only I can lead. That means someone else can wrap up the report. Maybe only I can sort through and organize my closet, but maybe someone else can make the donation run afterwards. And perhaps I’m the only one who can be that shoulder to cry on and we’ll let someone else take care of dinner tonight.

What’s your thing that only you can do?

Categories
Inside My Head Karen

Three Ways to Find Peace Before Your Day Begins

Karen Peace
Photo by Demi DeHerrera

Although there are many methods, I want to touch on three practical and effective ways to invite a peaceful environment into your life before your day begins.

With these three steps, you will start your day peacefully and keep that need to hurry to a minimal.

  1. Be aware of how you wake up. Stay clear of the need to rush-out-of-bed. Why do you need to rush out of bed? Don’t do that. Get out of bed slowly, which confirms a relaxed state. Enjoy the feeling of waking up slowly.
  1. Be aware of how fast you walk. From the moment you wake up to the moment you arrive at work, or getting your kids to school, slow down your pace. Walk slower and let all and any of your movements be at a slower pace.
  1. Be aware of your breathing and the speed of your voice. In your mornings, keep track of when you’re holding your breath while thinking or doing something; and talk slowly and quietly. Imagine speaking in an art gallery or watching a sunset.

Guaranteed, these three simple tips will create a bigger space in your morning for peace.

– Karen Thrall

*also published on www.karenthrall.com

Categories
Inside My Head Karen

Fear + Humans = Normal

Karen Fear
photo credit @michaelhull

Fear.

Of?

______________________________________________.

Fill in the blank.

My Aha Moment: Every human on the planet can write something on that line.

Isn’t that incredible?! Think about that for a moment. The entire human race, from every region of the planet, can identify with fear. It manifests itself differently in all of us. What might create fearfulness in one person may help another experience fearlessness.

Someone is afraid of heights while another is fearless of heights.

Someone is afraid of large social gatherings while another is fearless and the life of the party.

If I’m a child, I may be afraid of the dark or afraid of monsters in the closet. If I’m a teenager, I may be afraid of not having friends or being picked last in classroom games. If I’m an adult, I may be afraid of not having enough money or afraid of getting a serious illness.

Doesn’t matter what the age, what part of the world you live in, or whatever status you perceive to have – you do experience fear. We all do. Whether fleeting or immobilizing, momentarily or hauntingly – fear is real.

I was reading a bunch of quotes on the Internet about fear. Countless quotes on fear! That in and of itself is mind blowing. Could it be the topic of fear is one of the most researched, talked about, counseled and examined? Does fear land in the top 5 psychological analyses? (I don’t know. These are genuine questions.)

These countless quotes were actually pretty inspiring: encouraging us to let go of fear and reminding humans we can overcome fear.

As I reflected on my personal life, I notice my fears morph. What might have caused me fear at one point in my life, no longer causes me fear. Each fear I encounter is usually associated with The Unknown.

My Resolve #1:  Fear is universal and woven into the human race. The reassurance: someone identifies with each of us.

My Resolve #2:  Fear changes and Experience is its overcomer. The reassurance: we will learn deep truths and get through it.

My Resolve #3:  Fear does not isolate us from community. The reassurance: we belong and we are loved.

My Resolve #4:  Fear is waiting for us in our tomorrow world. The reassurance: we will conquer yet again.

My Resolve #5:  Fear does not make us weak. The reassurance: we are strong and perceptive.

My Resolve #6:  Fear commands us to trust that which we do not know. The reassurance: we’re being propelled into new understandings and empathies.

My Resolve #7:  Fear is a gift to others. The reassurance: because of our fears, we are able to support someone else in his or hers.

– Karen Thrall

*also published on www.karenthrall.com