Tag: Personal Development

Categories
Career Libby Uncategorized

Mindset and Success

My son, who is in second grade, is going to be taking some tests in the next few months; the results will determine whether or not he is eligible to be in a gifted and talented program moving forward. It’s a tremendous opportunity if he gets in, and my husband and I want him to be prepared, but he already is feeling a lot of pressure to succeed. We are trying really hard to put it all in perspective. We’re looking for practice examples so that the types of questions are familiar to him when he takes the test – not to “hothouse” him, but so that he’ll have less anxiety. In looking for those, my husband found a Ted Talk by Eduardo Briceño that expounds on the power of “mindset.” According to Briceño, people fall into one of two categories: fixed mindset or growth mindset. Apparently, if you have a growth mindset, you are better able to deal with losing/failing – you can turn it into a learning event and actually grow and get smarter.

We’re hoping to diffuse the pressure my son is putting on himself to do well by sharing this idea with him. In reviewing it and anticipating our conversation, it occurs to me that I could benefit from a deeper understanding of these concepts myself. In a recent post I talked about how I’m nervous about taking on some new areas at work and how this both frightens and excites me. I have always been a pretty high-achiever in life, but every time I am given a new skill to build or experience to try, I am rife with self-doubt. From a very young age, I have thought of myself as “unable to do math” – this is clearly an example of the “fixed” mindset. My opportunity to work on some new projects in areas less familiar to me is a chance for me to embrace the “growth” mindset. It isn’t fair for me to promote this to my kid without believing it myself. So, I am going to embrace it with abandon…and who knows? If it goes well, there could be a career in the mathematical arts in my future!

– Libby Bingham

Categories
Inside My Head Libby

Seasonal Change

It has been a beautiful autumn in the Washington, DC area. The weather is cool, but mild; the trees are a riot of red, yellow and orange. One thing I’m always inspired to do when the weather changes is to attempt to “get it together.”

This is naming a very ambiguous, yet permeating feeling which compels me to change along with the weather. Here’s what has taken place so far:

  1. Hair: I always get my hair cut when the seasons change – not always something drastic, but enough to signify that something has changed. Even if you’re not feeling like it, it’s helpful to look like you’re put together!
  2. Wardrobe: Unfortunately, I can’t afford to buy a new wardrobe every season, but I like to go through what I have, give stuff away that I’ve lost interest in, try on things I haven’t worn in a while or rediscover things I’ve forgotten about. I am also lucky because I have friends who do the same thing, and what may be old to someone else could be new and exciting to you!
  3. Exercise: Honestly, my desire for change when it comes to exercise is a daily battle, but when the weather changes, it really hits home. Since things have been mild here, I have been trying to do more outdoor activities (walking, biking) but it’s also a time to reassess your diet and overall health – go ahead and make that doctor appointment you’ve been putting off!
  4. Work: As the leaves change colors, it is an excellent opportunity to update your resume. Not because you’re going to go off and get a new job, but it’s not a bad idea to keep your skills fresh and review your accomplishments.
  5. Home: Staying organized is good for your mental health – if you use seasonal changes as a reminder to tidy up clutter, do a big shop or rearrange your linen closet, you will feel more in control of your life as you move speedily along.

– Libby Bingham

Categories
How to be Awesome Melissa

An Accountability Partner

I’ve been thinking a lot lately about how I often fall short with my follow through. I let my self slide on things I should be taking more seriously, mostly because the only person it affects is me (don’t let me get you wrong, I let others down too, and Ashley explains the feeling well here). I tell myself more often than I’d like to admit that it’s okay to push something to next week or next month seems like a fine time to finally start x. Perhaps you do it, too. If so, I’m glad I’m not alone.

There are a few items in my life that I don’t push around and these are items where people have an indirect dependency on me to be there. I go to work everyday because my team expects me to be there, and I go to German every week because I have classmates that count on me being there. But, and this is a big but, if I have to do something that isn’t a “necessary” then you can find me writing it down and putting “January 2016???” next to it. I then happily talk myself into the fact that January seems like a great time to start x, and yes Melissa, you can absolutely take a nap this afternoon and then proceed to nap in every room of the house for the rest of the evening. YIKES.

So I started thinking that I need to have more accountability in my life. I need to have check-ins on my progress, and that’s when I came across the idea of having an accountability partner. Someone to help me hold myself responsible for those important, but not necessarily urgent, items in my life.

I imagine that my accountability partner and I would check in weekly at a designated time to share our successes (as well as any setbacks). The hope is that when I feel myself slipping during the week I would remember to not make little compromises and then rationalize them, but to think of my weekly report, to remind myself to keep up with my goals, and to keep morale up for her so she also stays accountable.

A few items I’m thinking of including on my future accountability list include: monitoring how much I spend on clothing each month, how much progress I’ve made in my currently secret small-batch craft company, and perhaps parlaying accountability into work items, like purposefully checking emails at certain times throughout the day versus whenever my Outlook app pings me. Other items I think would be nice to add later on (and I imagine they can change monthly) include me time, hobbies, and even reading 50+ pages from a book each week.

Has anyone else tried this? If so, let me know your process, how you keep each other accountable, and what makes a great accountability partnership.

– Melissa Grant

Categories
Awesomeness in the World Karen

It Was Luck!

When I read Good To Great, it really resonated with me when Jim Collins wrote about great leaders believing in luck – they believe in good fortune.

“Later, when asked to discuss the factors behind the enduring nature of the transformation, he said, ‘The first thing that comes to mind is luck…I was lucky to find the right successor’.” – Jim Collins, Good To Great

Sometimes the answer to our success is “we were fortunate.”

I wish for you a waterfall of good fortune in your professional lives and aspirations; that you will be in the right place at the right time.

Keep chasing your longing. You just never know what’s around the corner. None of us ever really know.

And with regards to your vision – anything is possible. Surround yourself with great people. Look to those around you as invaluable contributors and positive influencers.

All the great leaders – and there are many – give “luck” or “good fortune” a lot of credit for their success.

Based on the insights these influential leaders offer, the beautiful part of good fortune means nothing is impossible. It’s truly possible for you to encounter good fortune.

We only know what life offers us right now, right here, in this moment. We don’t know what tomorrow holds. We don’t even know what will occur an hour from now.

When you happen upon good fortune, remind yourself how lucky you are. It doesn’t mean you are better than someone else, nor does it mean you’re more qualified or more experienced or more impressive. It means you were chosen in that moment, and that’s something quite wonderful to be thankful for.

Feeling lucky is not the same as being lucky. We can have a good feeling about something, but that doesn’t necessarily mean it will translate to good fortune.

When we happen upon good fortune, it’s the realness that favor knocked on our door unannounced, we answered the door and welcomed it in.

On a side note: to only carry wishful thinking is a deterrent to your good fortune.

“Diligence is the mother of good luck.” – Benjamin Franklin

Denzel Washington (I’m a fan!) also made this statement that I respect, “I say luck is when an opportunity comes along and you’re prepared for it.”

Continue being diligent, and keep yourself in a posture of preparation, and let’s see what unfolds for you. You just never know…..

– Karen Thrall

*also published on www.karenthrall.com

Categories
Career

Expecting the Unexpected

I saw a teaser on LinkedIn last week about taming your schedule. As someone who feels like my calendar has gotten completely out of control these days, I was obviously intrigued. Shane Atchison talks about a skill he leaned from a mentor of his and titled his post Scheduling for the Unexpected. The idea is simple – block a portion for your day for the inevitable surprise. It’s not a question of whether or not something will come up, but what that will be. Atchison shares that he schedules some time at the end of the day, typically an hour, and that helps him keep on track. And while he does usually need that time, on the rare occasions he doesn’t, he’s able to leave work an hour earlier and prioritize something else.

This certainly isn’t a new concept, but I so love the idea of scheduling unstructured time (I know, I know…scheduling unscheduled time? Could my Type A be any more obvious?). I personally do best with structure and plans. It helps me organize, stay focused and not feel overwhelmed. That does mean I’m not always great when the unexpected comes my way, but I want to be better at being more flexible, and this seems like just the tool to help. The idea of building in time to handle what I didn’t expect really resonates with me. The hard part, of course, is sticking to it. That time, at least for me, will always be the first thing to go as the calendar gets tighter and demands pile up. But that’s also something I’m trying to be better at – sticking to my priorities. So if carving out time for the unexpected means I feel less crazed and I can get things done? Sign me up. I’m blocking the time on my calendar right now.

Categories
Inside My Head Karen

Where is Your Heart?

Where is your heart? As in, that on which your life centers?

Have you ever said the phrase, “My heart says one thing, but my mind thinks differently.” This is a common paradox for individuals wrestling with life.

How do you get your heart and your mind on the same page?

Time.

Allow room for time.

Always let your heart lead the way. But allow a timeline for your mind to get on board. Your mind needs time to wrap itself around your longings. It wants to be in agreement with you, but doesn’t know how and needs to find the answers to the what, why, when, and where. Your mind wants to cooperate. Your mind wants to ask questions. And your mind wants to argue with you – not to hold you back – but rather to help you come up with a game plan.

“You make it sound so simple Karen.”

It is simple. We over complicate things.

Take a sheet of paper and draw a line down the middle. On one side, write the words “What my hearts says,” and on the other “What my mind says.”

Compare notes, and then start making a plan. A compromise. A negotiation. A meet-half-way. A big picture. A timeline. Set goals. And accomplish each goal, one step at a time. When the mind and heart unite and cooperate, the adventure begins.

And guess what that adventure is? You begin to believe and trust with forward steps.

Where is your heart?

– Karen Thrall

*also published on www.karenthrall.com

Categories
Career

What All the Cool Kids Know

It’s cool to know what’s going on. Nerd culture has gone mainstream and being unimpressed and unconcerned went out with flannel in the 90’s. And while fashion trends come back around, I sure hope it won’t be cool again to be uninformed. I like knowing what’s going on. I don’t mean in the annoying, all up in everyone’s business sort of way, but rather, in the way that I can easily make connections and know where to find information. Sure, it may sound altruistic, but let’s be honest. It makes things easier for me. I can figure out where to plug in to make sure my projects get the attention they need. I can get a new perspective or improve an idea I have when I consider someone else’s point of view or a new audience.

When we talk about communication and knowing what’s going on, it’s easy to point out what someone else isn’t doing for you – what they’re not giving you, how they’re not making it easy or what they’re not sharing. But in the middle of that, it’s important to take a look at what you’re doing that keeps you in the dark. Keeping your head down and staying at your desk is a great way to ensure you don’t know what’s going on. Ignoring readily available resources is just silly. Zoning out in a meeting is a sure-fire way to miss an important detail. I know we’re all busy, but how much time does it really take to read your company newsletter? Sure, it’s another logon to remember, but taping into your organization’s intranet or social media platform is a great way to access bits of information while you’re away from the office. And attending social events at work will help establish more personal connections, and we know we enjoy working with people we like. We also like to tell them what’s going on, ask their advice or share a challenge. And when people share with us, we learn.

Take it upon yourself to learn about what’s going on in your organization. Don’t wait for the formal updates or for information to come to you. Ask your colleagues what they’re working on. Include yourself in conversations as appropriate. Offer to help outside your area. Participate. Read. Raise your hand. All the cool kids area doing it, so don’t just sit back and wait. Make it your business to know what’s going on.

Categories
Awesomeness in the World

What’s Wrong with Being Confident?

Jennifer Lawrence has been in the news lately for a post she wrote for Lenny, Lena Dunham’s latest creation. The post is titled “Why Do I Make Less Than My Male Co-Stars?” It’s short and to the point, which is that pay gap is still very real, regardless of the scale (it’s possible Jennifer and I may be in different tax brackets…). And it’s not just the pay gap – it’s the expectations around our behavior. When it comes to negotiating, sharing our ideas or stating an opinion, we’re too busy trying to be liked to be as effective as we could be. While certainly not a universal truth for all women everywhere in every scenario, this issue obviously hit close to home for many of us, given all the attention her post is receiving.

I’ve been pretty neutral on most things Demi Lovato up to this point, but her newest song is my jam. And while this might seem wholly unrelated to Jennifer Lawrence’s post, bear with me. Confident is the second release off Demi’s upcoming album of the same name. It’s no secret that I love a good pop anthem, and this song doesn’t disappoint. But in the middle of the strong bass line and ridiculously catchy tune, she asks a good question – what’s wrong with being confident? Her chorus goes a little something like this:

So you say I’m complicated
That I must be outta my mind
But you’ve had me underrated
What’s wrong with being confident?

It’s a good reminder for me to not let others define who I am (plus, the song is just fun). And that’s Jennifer’s point, too – we define our value. As women, more often that not, we need to remind others that they’ve underrated us. Yes, it’s not fair and it’s ridiculous that we need to do any reminding at all. But until that changes, there’s not a damn thing wrong with being confident.

Categories
Inside My Head Libby

Believe in Your Damn Self

Last weekend I attended a leadership program designed to get women focusing on their dreams, feeling empowered and moving forward. While the target age demographic was well below my own, the energy was timeless. I was truly amazed at the drive and passion so many of these women exhibited – education, entrepreneurial spirit, fighting for equal pay, saying yes to both the personal and professional loves of their lives…wow. I am in mourning for my younger self and what I (maybe, I am quite lazy sometimes…) could have accomplished. Moving on…

Another impressive thing was their lack of fear – I’m not saying that they aren’t worried or feel some trepidation about doing something new, but they’re also comfortable with trying. They know that it might not work out, but they’re still going to make a go at it. And if it doesn’t work out? They’ll try something else – they know this isn’t their last shot, their only opportunity. How do they know? Because they’re making their own opportunities – they’re not waiting for something to happen to them, they are making it happen for them.

Last week on Project Runway, (spoiler alert!!) Laurie Underwood, 29, owner of design label Wanda Grace, was kicked off. Did she cry? No! Was she angry and bitter? No! Did she tell all the other contestants/friends not to cry for her? Yes! This was her final monologue as she cleaned up her workspace and turned out the light…

“This isn’t the end for me because I believe in my damn self. This does not stop my shine. There are other spotlights for Laurie Underwood…to be in and she will be there. I’m still writing my story and the best part is yet to come.”

Amazing. This is the attitude we should all strive for – to try new things that we think will make us happy. And if it doesn’t work out, we should chalk it up to experience, pick ourselves up and move on. Hell to the yes, Laurie Underwood and all you other ladies out there getting bossed up and finding your way!

– Libby Bingham

Categories
Awesomeness in the World Karen

Leaving An Impression

It was early in the morning. I decided to take the train to work. I wasn’t doing very well. I felt sad and chose to sit in the back corner of the car so I could stare out the window while wearing my invisible-you-can’t-see-me cloak.

The doors open and I watched her push his wheelchair onto the train. They must have been in their late 70’s, possibly early 80’s. An elderly Chinese couple. A bald man whose face was round and jolly. His eyes were content. His countenance peaceful. Her hair was white and coiffed in a classic 60’s rolled voluminous style.   She was wearing a tweed, three-quarter length coat with white gloves and her satchel rested on her wrist. Her lips painted red and her eyebrows lined perfectly.

I felt love. Love for these two. I watched them from a distance. They caught my attention. I was instantly smitten.

And something interesting happened. My spirits lifted.

Somehow, these two strangers, who not once glanced my way nor had any idea I was there, brightened my day.

My grey cloud vanished. My perspective cleared up. I smiled warmly. I was given a second chance to a new day.

They brightened my world. Not with anything they said or did – just their presence captivated me.

Quite amazing the power we have, and we rarely are aware of it.

You leave an impression – whether positive or negative – you leave an impression. And you influence your environment.

Never underestimate that you’re capable of brightening the day of those you come into contact with.

Every day matters. Anytime, anywhere, anyone. Someone will be influenced by you. You matter.

You matter to people like me.

To the strangers in this world, thank you for being you.

 

– Karen Thrall

*also published on www.karenthrall.com