I’ve never been big on New Year’s resolutions (or maybe that’s just me being lazy and uncommitted), but there’s always been something about spring and fall that seem like much more natural times of reflection. They don’t feel forced or like I’m setting myself up for failure. These seem to be the times of year I’m truly ready for a change or to recommit to priorities that have fallen by the wayside. And it clearly isn’t just me. There’s a restlessness about, and it’s evident all around. In the past two weeks alone, I’ve had friends who have quit their jobs, announced plans for international or cross-country moves, ended or wholly committed to long-term relationships and contemplated major career moves. Thankfully, these major changes are not all the same person – I’m fairly certain that would be a recipe for insanity if I’ve ever heard one.
One could certainly make the argument that it’s not necessarily the time of year, but rather, the time of life all my friends seem to find themselves in. And that could be true, but these friends are scattered across North America, span 20 years of age difference and are at very different life stages. All this makes it hard to ignore the feeling that, as we’re all shaking off the gray of winter, we’re also finding a renewed commitment to living the lives we truly want to lead. That’s not to say that you need to make a major life change to live the life you’d like. Perhaps you’re doing exactly what you want to be doing with exactly the right people and figuring out how to keep that balance is your spring challenge. Personally, I’m recommitting to making time for the people who are most important in my life. Time with them helps keep me grounded, makes me happy and is, well, good for my soul. What does spring cleaning mean for you this year?
When curiosity and engagement are interwoven and lived out simultaneously, it creates this magical wonder we call: being present
What does it look like to curiously engage?
You are approachable.
You ask questions.
You are personable.
You explore conversations.
You laugh freely.
You open yourself up to new experiences.
You pursue understanding
You expand your knowledge.
You radiate safety and warmth.
You extend respect easily.
You appreciate more.
You welcome camaraderie.
You create community.
You express belonging.
You offer space for others to be known.
And the cool part is – while gallivanting around in curious engagement – you become contagious. Not a bad return on investment!!
May I suggest that curiosity be viewed as a verb rather than a noun? When curiosity is a thing it loses its power. When curiosity is alive, it is a blazing unstoppable force that opens doors you never thought imaginable.
Working in teams is hard, and it’s difficult to pinpoint all the reasons why. I’m sure you have some ideas as to why – I sure do. Varying personalities, goals, passions, work styles, and so much more make teamwork challenging. While teams can struggle when priorities differ, there is also incredible value in recognizing the strengths of individuals to optimize the efforts of the team and create dynamic results.
There’s a great tool that’s caught on at work recently; the Gallup StrengthsFinder 2.0 assessment. (The Chief Goodness Officer here at Good for the Soul knows this tool well – she shared her own experience back in January!) If you’ve never heard of the assessment, it’s worth a look, and more than that, a consideration as an asset to your personal and professional future. You answer a series of questions in split second time and at the end, and then you receive a custom report based on your top 5 strengths. I won’t oversell it here, I’ll just say, it’s been enlightening for me, and impacted the way our team works together.
What’s happened with the StrengthsFinder 2.0 outcomes for our team is this: it’s given our team a platform to openly recognize one another’s genuine strengths. Sure, it sounds like the outcomes could be pretty stale and obvious, but they’re not. Even if you have an overlapping strength with a teammate, your custom report highlights the variation in your strength given the order, makeup, etc., of your top 5. The results have also afforded our team an opportunity to speak frankly about what makes us tick, and what we see as opportunities for our future work model.
For me personally, this exercise has taught me a lot about trust and leadership. When leaders trust their team, they can more easily develop consensus for priorities and projects. When leaders allow their team to make decisions on the team’s behalf and team members step up to the plate to make decisions without having to confer with a team lead at every corner, the results can be vast! Shortened decision making time frames and more dynamic and reiterative outcomes are just a couple of the positives results. The best leaders don’t just lead; they empower. When you recognize your team’s strengths, focus on building trust, and tackle challenges through empowerment, in my book, you’re doing great things as a leader.
I was having dinner with a colleague last night and found myself fascinated by the stories he was telling. Not fascinated in the way that you pretend to be when someone is in town visiting and you’re trying to get dinner to go by faster, but really genuinely interested in hearing more about his family and past career adventures. And as I was enjoying his tales, I got to thinking about my own stories and how he was definitely getting the raw end of this deal. I’ve got far less international intrigue, and while I’ve chosen not to have children, they definitely provide some great material. To be fair, he’s got a few years on me, so maybe I just haven’t caught up yet. And I also feel like it’s important to say that nothing he said or did made me feel like my stories weren’t just as interesting (there was no excessive yawning or picking up imaginary phone calls that suddenly came in). He was a great active listener to my tales, which was another part of what made the conversation so great.
I suppose the other part of this is that I’ve also told most of my stories before. Sure, we covered some new ground, and I shared some things with him about my work that were unique to the conversation we were having. But many of my stories are oldies but goodies to me. And all of his stories were new and shiny to me. In that shininess, I so enjoyed hearing his perspective on life and learning more about what makes him who he is. That connection to people is what drives me to do what I do, both in my personal and professional lives. And in the middle of our dinner, I decided anytime I’ve picked a dinner companion whose stories were more interesting than my own, I’ve done something right. So I told him such and will I very much look forward to the next time we’re able to share a drink and a story.
This weekend I went camping with my family. We usually do a car camping kind of thing (drive up in the car, pitch the tent, open up the bundle of wood we bought at the camp store, go a few steps to a pump for water, fire up the camp stove to make mac ‘n cheese, sit and sip cocktails in the nice firelight)…fun! Not this weekend. This weekend we had to hike half a mile – in the rain and mud with all our stuff – to stay in a cabin with no running water, an outhouse halfway up the hill, collecting and processing our own wood…a different kind of fun, to be sure, but easy it is not.
It’s amazing what we take for granted. I’m not saying our problems are not important and that we should all shut-up and stop complaining, but it is very interesting to compare the trials of having to wait in line for self-checkout with having to hike .25 miles to the spring every time you need water. It kind of helps put things into perspective.
This is something my husband and I have done on several occasions on our own, and we’ve taken our son a few times as a carry-in-a-pack age baby, but this is the first time he’s come as a real kid. We were interested to see how the unplugged experience would resonate with our digital native boy. There were some negotiations regarding the bringing of his laptop (I won with the logic that he’d have to carry it himself), but ultimately, we were all device free. During the day, we did “chores,” hiked around, looked for crayfish, ran screaming through the woods (one of us); at night, we read books, told jokes, played UNO, checkers and Yahtzee at night. It was exhausting, but delightful.
The book Joey and I are reading together is Farmer Boy, the second in the Little House series. It is an historical fictional account of a nine-year old boy who lives on a farm in upstate NY in the 1860s – the story focuses on all the chores (morning and night), work on the farm (animals and plants), daily routines of bathing, cooking and going to school (when he doesn’t have farm work to do, of course). Joey and I are both exhausted by the end of every chapter! It has led to a new appreciation on his end for zippers, Gore-Tex, toilets and the refrigerator. He even has changed his morning refrain to “I can’t wait to go to school today!”
These reminders – both in theory and practice – have served to reframe some of my thoughts on my own daily routine (laundry, dishes, dinner…) and as a result, I have found peace in the daily minutiae. A shout-out to the men and women of the past, who worked so hard to feed, clothe and care for their families – all their hard work, struggles and lack of “downtime” have made it possible for me to look at their daily chores as recreational activity, for me to read to my son at night, and then blog about it.
Last week, my flight was delayed and it was evening. I was feeling a bit tired; content to be quiet, listen to music, watch a movie, and snooze. Although quiet, I was very aware of my surroundings – curiously aware.
Across from me were a Middle Eastern mother and her two sons. Beside me was a Canadian on holidays and an American traveling with some of his mates. The two primary flight attendants that served us were Asian and French.
Diversity.
Our world is so big, yet so small all at the same time. Five ethnic cultures represented within arms reach. What a privilege to be surrounded by global culture.
Diversity. Variety. Assortment. Mixture. What I admire about bakers is their talent in blending together ingredients with perfection and presenting delectable treats. This big ol’ world is just like dessert! When mixed together, we are delicious!
It is enriching to embrace diversity – to know that your world might be different from my world. Your thoughts different from mine. Your principles; your opinions; your routines; your passions; your hobbies; your knowledge; your views; your tastes; your beliefs; your style; your convictions; your expressions – you get the idea. I like it.
Thanks, big ol’ world for being within arms reach. I have learned so much from you. You enrich me.
You can’t help but be drawn into Ashley’s energy. You can tell she’s got a lot going on inside her head and just can’t quite get it out fast enough. I’m immediately drawn to that enthusiasm for life. That kind of excitement means Ashley may not know exactly what the plan is yet, but she knows enough to know she’s in, regardless of what it is. I’ve not yet known her for a year at this point, but she is genuine, passionate, wicked smart and not afraid to laugh at herself, and I already feel like I’ve been lucky enough to know her far longer. One of my favorite things about Ashley is her dedication to making things beautiful – not just through design, but in a very human way. Pure joy is a beautiful thing, and she’s committed to bringing it into her life and the lives of those around her. In the work we’ve been doing together in our day jobs, we have a goal of being so happy and excited to get to work that you skip on your way, and Ashley reminds us of that goal all the time. It’s impossible not to have your day be beautiful when that’s what you’re working towards. Ashley is a natural voice for our Creative Community here, and I can’t wait for you to get to know her. Thanks for sharing your awesomeness with us, Ashley!
Ashley Respecki – Cool Gal, Cool Photos
Before I realized the posts from new bloggers were simple, easy “Introducing So-and-So” posts, I had planned to title this post “What I’ve Learned About Self-Worth.” Now admittedly, I was feeling like the title promised a bit too much. But nonetheless, I offer you this introduction and mini inspirational kick-off as a new, incredibly honored, contributor here in the Good for the Soul Creative Community.
Sometimes you’re just cruising; life has dealt you a few good cards and you’re feeling on top of the world. In my case, 2014 was a solid year. I received a great opportunity to travel to Australia for an exchange program with a partner association, I was asked to contribute to real organizational change that will impact our entire workplace culture, plus, a promotion! (Did I mention health, happiness, and an amazing husband?) Then, out of nowhere, a shift happened. You know what I’m talking about, right? When the vibe, the energy, it just shifts. You feel as though you’ve lost support, you’re more excited about “offline” projects, and the people you’re surrounded by aren’t keeping you energized, challenged, or helping you grow.
A few weeks ago, Catherine reached out to me about the opportunity to share inspirations with the Good for the Soul community. Here’s the thing – it caught me off guard. When you’ve hit that shift, it’s often hard to take great offers and opportunities seriously. But when I started to evaluate the shift, I began recognizing a flip side. I noticed that the people in my life that see in me what I hope to convey to the world stand by me no matter what the mood. Sometimes these people get drowned out by the negative noise, but they’re still present. They’re there as mentors and friends, cheerleaders and lunch dates, advocates and collaborators, and they’re all helping each of us make it one step further, one day further.
What I’ve learned about self-worth is to listen. The people you choose to surround yourself with, or that you’re naturally drawn to, are often sending you a strong message. (Hell, they’re probably even telling you pretty often how great you are!) You should feel good about the support they offer, the kudos they share, and the opportunities they present.
I hope to share more about listening. It’s not one of my strengths, but it’s something I’m working on. As my time here at Good for the Soul evolves you’ll likely realize what I truly enjoy is telling stories; hence the longest introductory blog post known to man. If we meet in person you’ll realize I talk too much and way too fast. (Okay, let’s face it – I’m an over-sharer.) Expect stories and inspirations about architecture, design, photography, travel and culture. And if anything brings you back, hopefully it’s to hear inspiration or a story from my years of work at a video store when VHS tapes were still a norm, how and why I bartended my way through college, or the insanity that is being married to an architect. Thanks for having me!
Palm trees, the soothing sounds of crashing waves and pink sunsets. Some consider California to be a little slice of heaven. A slice that could soon have its first teeth marks from yours truly. But it’s an interesting situation to “follow” your significant other to another state. Many my age would stay far away from something of this nature, I figure but fortune favors the brave.
Opportunities like this don’t happen often enough to good people. But who wouldn’t be anxious about something like this? Major steps towards this and that, commitments to his and hers fuel the fire of doubt. Yet, the last few months, I have been fairly set on embarking on such a journey. I was recently discussing the Chinese New Year with a friend of mine who read me the prediction or whatever for my year, the monkey.
She read out loud what had been buzzing in my head for a little while at that point. This would be a year of major decisions. Some of which could alter my life’s trajectory. It struck me as strange on one hand, but on the other, it didn’t. It just reaffirmed what I knew. So now the whole hanging on the fence thing comes together (I think). The monkey, hanging, big decisions…you get the picture. I guess what I’m trying to say is: take the leap. Make your mark. Know that anything can lead to something. They say 90% of success is just showing up. Well, this guy is already up and getting dressed.
One of my friends and I often lament the lack of gold stars for being an adult. Not that I’d like to pay fines and go to jail, but every now and again, couldn’t we get a positive incentive for us to do what we need to do as adults? In between doing our jobs well, making healthy food and exercise choices, being good partners and friends, raising happy kids, sending thank you notes, getting car inspections, going to the doctor, paying bills, getting enough sleep, donating our time and money, keeping up with the news, running errands and so on and so on, it’s exhausting. Let’s just be honest. Being an adult and doing everything we’re supposed to do is a lot of work without a whole lot of thanks. So here’s to you today – a big gold star for being awesome and doing everything you do!
Last week I hung out with a friend of mine. It was catch up time. We hadn’t connected in awhile. I asked if, instead of meeting for dinner or at a coffee shop, we could sip our hot beverage of choice while strolling the Vancouver seawall.
It was nightfall. The West End was beginning to settle in for the night. The air was refreshing. The sound of the water was peaceful. The boulevard was quiet, with a few evening runners and people walking their dogs.
Amidst the city lights, we shared life. The tales were filled with victories, defeats and self-reflection. My eyes sparkled as I listened to his joy and my shoulders slumped when he shared his hardship.
Also last week, I received a text message from a friend letting me know he lost a close friend in a car accident; another experienced unsettledness and is re-thinking their career; another went through a painful break-up; and one heard the news that her mother has cancer.
All in one week.
I find myself intently aware that circumstances knock on our door unannounced. Our lives are interwoven with elation and disappointment. Life is unpredictable.
And when we connect to each other’s lives, two powerful expressions of friendship are manifested: we listen & we are present. We extend compassion or a standing ovation; comfort or celebration; high fives or a shoulder to lean on; tears of joy or tears of grief. Whichever it may be, one thing is clear – we need each other.
GOOD FOR THE SOUL 