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Awesomeness in the World Libby

Personal Training Wisdom

So, I bit the bullet and decided to hire a personal trainer at my gym – I really think having that extra push is necessary for me as I make the effort to change things up in my life. It doesn’t hurt that Joseph is super nice and, well, hot, but he’s also smart…I thought I would share some of the wisdom from our sessions.

  1. Innovation is good. We already know that innovation is the buzz word of the century, but Joseph applies it to training and it totally makes sense. I’m not getting anywhere doing the same thing I’ve been doing – I need a different approach, a do-over, a new start. He is creating innovative workouts that continually changes and keeps my body guessing – it never knows what to expect! It also keeps me from getting bored.
  2. Try slowing down. So on top of being super nice and very fit, Joseph is also an app designer – he’s working on an app that will help runners train or that can help newbies get started. He recently told me that they’re making a lot of progress but also encountering a lot of bugs so he recommended to his partners that they slow things down. This is excellent advice for everybody – take your time! If you’re not rushing through things, you’re less likely to make mistakes, waste money, or get hurt, while at the same time, more likely to learn something and make real progress.
  3. Little things mean a lot. 0-60 is great for engine performance, but progress in life is much more incremental. Instead of adding 10lbs to my bar every time I lift weights, it is better for me to tack on one or two repetitions to every set. Today I told him that I don’t seem to have lost any weight but my pants are fitting better and I went up a notch on my bra strap…I got a “way to go” AND a high-five! It’s not necessarily a lot (those pounds are stubborn!) but it is progress and any positive change should be celebrated.
  4. Keep your head in the game. One of the reasons I like working with Joseph is he understands that – for me – the idea of working out is mostly mental and emotional. It’s not enough for me to sweat, lift the weights or do the crunches, I have to truly believe that the effort I put in will make a difference, that I deserve to be healthy and that I am able to stay the course. If you can get your head in the right place – whatever you’re taking on – that’s more than half the battle.
  5. Lists are good for blogs! According to Joseph, who has a friend who is a professional blogger, lists are the way to go for blogs – much easier for the reader. So, expect to see more lists in the future…you’re welcome!

– Libby Bingham

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Awesomeness in the World Libby

Gardening

The weather in the Washington, DC area has been really nice this spring and it has done its job in motivating me to get outside and dig. I find gardening to be relaxing, good exercise (I have a lot of weeds to pull) and a terrific way to connect with others. Although I am alone most of the time I am doing the work, I find that people will stop and want to chat while I’m out there (covered in dirt, sweaty…good thing I’m already married…). My marathon days of reconnecting with my garden are also days of reconnecting with my neighbors and my family. My son and I both love rocks and collecting them. My husband does not really share this interest, so he encouraged us to build a rock garden together – it’s terrific! Every morning on the way to school, we both stop to admire the garden…sure, nothing has grown, but it’s fun to recognize a new rock that we hadn’t seen before and relive the memory of when it was found. My mother and her entire family are avid gardeners, and my mother has two green thumbs and three green fingers. Her gardens are amazing. Every time I go to her house, she sends me home with cuttings or seedlings or plants she just digs up. Every time they bloom after I’ve planted them at my house (when they survive the transition), I am reminded of her and I call and give her a progress report. This is the same kind of connection I feel with my aunt who died from a brain tumor, or my uncle who died in a car accident – they may be gone, but they live on through the beauty of a blooming iris. By planting and cultivating living things, my relationships are rooting and multiplying, and I love admiring that growth as well. What’s growing in your garden?

– Libby Bingham

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Inside My Head

What’s Lurking Around the Corner

I recently had a conversation with a friend who was laid off not too long ago. She’d reached out to me to ask if we could talk, and was very clear about what had just happened to her and how it was a good thing – a very good thing. She was looking forward to spending the summer with her children and taking the time to figure out what she really wanted to do. She’d already had one job offer since she’d been laid off, but had turned it down. She’s determined to take advantage of this time and I’m so impressed by her. It takes a lot of confidence and courage to be that comfortable with ambiguity, especially when it comes to your livelihood.

That conversation has been rattling around in my head for the past few days. When we think about losing our job, it’s usually in some kind of worst case scenario. But I’m so proud of my friend’s outlook and her ability to see the flip side of this coin. Rather than seeing tragedy and fear, she’s embracing the opportunity to focus on what’s most important to her. She’s prioritizing her family in the immediate future and using the time to think through what her long-term future could be. We so often get bogged down by the unknown, and seeing her excitement and optimism is refreshing. Yes, her husband is in a stable job and they’ve planned well. And they’ll save money by not putting the kids in daycare for the summer. They’ve planned and are ready with a list of adjustments to their lives that they can make at various points along this journey. Of course, this all affords her a certain amount of freedom, and I realize not everyone has that. If she was solely responsible for the family income, insurance and the like, it’s a different scenario. Even then, however, knowing my friend, she would have made plans in case something like this happened. She’s a planner and makes sure she’s prepared for whatever needs handling – whatever may be lurking around the corner.

What strikes me in addition to her embracing this situation is the reminder of the resilience we all have in us – the ability to get our shit handled, no matter what comes at us. Yes, we may have to change course and shift direction. Sure, things may not look exactly like we’d imagined, or turn out as we’d planned (does life ever turn out how we’d planned???). We may have to adjust the way we live and approach the world, but at the end of the day, we all have the confidence and courage to find our own path. We may just need to dig a little deeper, but it’s there. And I’m grateful for the people and events that remind me of my own ability to persevere – it’s a valuable life lesson for me that I learn over and over again.

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Book Reports Libby

Dead Wake

I was at my cousin’s wedding and my uncle was discussing the new Erik Larson book about the sinking of the Lusitania in 1915. As a fan of Larson (Devil in the White City, In the Garden of Beasts), I was excited to read his latest book, Dead Wake. I read it in just a few days – as per his style, the true tale gripped me from the get-go. Larson tells his stories from the perspective of those who lived them. By researching passenger biographies, ship manifests and captains’ logs, Larson paints a picture of all the people involved in this tragedy, from the youngest of the ship’s passengers to President Woodrow Wilson. Admittedly, I did not really know the story of the Lusitania – only that it was sunk by a German U-boat and that its sinking is what brought the U.S. into the First World War.

But the story is so much more than that – a story of technology, of communication (or lack thereof), of luck and of hope. Mostly, though, it is a story about decision-making: the many opportunities for things to have gone another way, if only a different decision had been made. What if those passengers had taken another ship on another day? What if the British intelligence agency had shared information more readily? What if the U-Boat captain had gone in a different direction? What if the ship had been using all its power instead of conserving? It’s a tragic story, but also fascinating when you consider how many decisions each of us makes on a daily basis – which of those, even the most mundane, have saved us from unbridled success and which from personal tragedy? It is enough to paralyze one into inaction, or propel one into reckless behavior. How you weigh information and what you do with it is the most important part of writing your own story. What’s your next chapter?

– Libby Bingham

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Inside My Head Libby

Procrastination

I am a terrible procrastinator. I always have been…in fact, my brother made up a character for me called The Procrastinator. My tagline was, “I’ll be back…later…” I procrastinate at losing weight and getting in shape, at doing the gardening and the dishes, calling my friend from college, and definitely at work projects. (I have – in an earlier post on this blog, I am aware – previously touted the idea of being prepared. I will state for the record that procrastination does not necessarily preclude being prepared, but it does make it harder.)

Why do I procrastinate? I’m sure it’s either genetic or some kind of childhood trauma…but that’s irrelevant. I do it. And it makes for a lot of stressful times…but somehow, it also motivates me and lights a fire under my lazy bum. It may even be (partially) responsible for some of my best work! So what I’ve decided to do is Embrace the Procrastination! Instead of fighting the inevitable, I’m learning how to work with it and to use it as a motivator. I haven’t perfected it yet, but I’m getting there. My advice: never stop with whatever self-improvement efforts you have going on, BUT part of those efforts should include cutting your losses. Instead of fighting The Thing that make you feel bad that you continually try to “fix,” figure out how you can mitigate the negative impact of The Thing and use it as your touchstone, your hyper-drive, your magic bean. You, too, can turn that frown upside down…tomorrow, of course.

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Awesomeness in the World

Delightfully Unexpected

Over the weekend, my husband pointed out an article in the Washington Post, “How Kathmandu’s ‘kung fu nuns’ sprang into action after the quake.” It’s a quick read, and absolutely worth the time. These Buddhist nuns have been studying kung fu for about four years, not with the intent of fighting, but applying their learnings in ways that you wouldn’t expect.

“The nuns began learning kung fu from a Vietnamese teacher in defiance of accepted gender codes in the Buddhist monastic system. But over time, they have harnessed the ancient Chinese martial art for meditation, community work, edgy campaigns against toxic waste, and for women’s empowerment and walkathons against the prevalence of plastic products in everyday life.”

Most recently, they’ve used their physical and mental strength to help those affected by the horrific earthquake in Nepal. It’s easy to feel disconnected to something going on across the world and think there’s nothing we can do to help, but these nuns are a reminder that we can all have an impact in our own, and sometimes unexpected, way. And sometimes it’s a simple as that.

For more on how to help those affected in Nepal, visit the Better Business Bureau’s website for accredited organizations collecting donations.

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Ashley Inside My Head

Dropping the Ball

Today’s the day where I publicly admit to dropping the ball on things that I’ve committed to and truly care about. It’s often too easy to tell friends and family that you’ll do something for them and not follow through. I’m guilty of that lately. There are people that depend on me, and believe in me, and I’m guilty of letting them down.

Whew. I feel better.

It’s not easy to admit that, despite the efforts of those holding me accountable, I’m feeling lack-luster about my performance. Even though I’m terrible at saying “no,” when I commit to something, it’s usually because my heart is in it – full force. Often I feel like I rationalize failure to follow through internally with thoughts like “they’re not paying my salary so it’s cool, right?” (Please tell me you’ve had similar evil thoughts…)

I think it feels worse when the amazing people around you are keeping their word. “How do they do it?! They must be superhuman.” I’ve decided that I admire the incredible ability my friends and family have to keep their word, and that it’s an example I try to model my own behavior around – hence the disappointment I’m feeling in myself.

Eleanor Roosevelt once said, “With the new day comes new strengths and new thoughts.” I’m taking the days ahead to refresh and reboot so I can keep the ball rolling. I have some emotional strength to build and some new perspectives to consider. Hopefully the people I care about most will notice!

– Ashley Respecki

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Awesomeness in the World Gabriel

Kenny Rogers is That Guy

Have you ever seen those quirky Geico car insurance commercials? You know, the ones when they act out useless pieces of information that are compared to the well-known fact that fifteen minutes could save you whatever on car insurance (clearly we love those here in Good for the Soul’s Creative Community!). The embarrassing amount of TV I watch sort of makes me a self-proclaimed expert on these odd skits. Engaging recently in your classic game of phone tag (America’s favorite pastime), a friend of mine and I finally got a chance to talk and update the other on what’s happening in our lives. Something about that particular conversation reminded me of one of the commercials which featured an appearance by Kenny Rogers.

If you don’t know who Kenny Rogers is, then you should probably stop reading now. Fair warning. Classic American pop and country singer. Silver mane and goatee of the same color. Strong and hardy, yet smooth chops. Kenny is definitely a guy you want to have breakfast with, enjoying his sultry sounds while drinking OJ. The commercial that featured him showed him playing poker and singing his famous “The Gambler” to emphasis the overkill. But I began to think about the song and its lyrics after I spoke to my friend, who was considering not going through with his initial post-grad plans of going to China to study and teach.

I asked him why he decided to abandon such a solid plan, and his answer was simple: it wouldn’t make sense. He and his father have begun to build up their name into a brand back home in Memphis, having started a cigar bar empire that continues to expand. With a passion for business and a few good things going for him in Memphis, he couldn’t find a good enough reason to leave what he had started. Though he originally thought he didn’t want that, deciding to stay is the best choice, even if it might not seem like he’s moving forward. My friend now understands that his decision and the current circumstances are just an extra step in his plan for success. It just hadn’t showed up in his instructional manual yet.

So back to Kenny. Like my friend here, you’ve got to know when to fold them and when to hold them. What may seem like the worst or insensible thing to do at the time could be your best move yet. Always keep your hand strong.

– Gabriel Oigbokie

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Inside My Head

Spring Cleaning

I’ve never been big on New Year’s resolutions (or maybe that’s just me being lazy and uncommitted), but there’s always been something about spring and fall that seem like much more natural times of reflection. They don’t feel forced or like I’m setting myself up for failure. These seem to be the times of year I’m truly ready for a change or to recommit to priorities that have fallen by the wayside. And it clearly isn’t just me. There’s a restlessness about, and it’s evident all around. In the past two weeks alone, I’ve had friends who have quit their jobs, announced plans for international or cross-country moves, ended or wholly committed to long-term relationships and contemplated major career moves. Thankfully, these major changes are not all the same person – I’m fairly certain that would be a recipe for insanity if I’ve ever heard one.

One could certainly make the argument that it’s not necessarily the time of year, but rather, the time of life all my friends seem to find themselves in. And that could be true, but these friends are scattered across North America, span 20 years of age difference and are at very different life stages. All this makes it hard to ignore the feeling that, as we’re all shaking off the gray of winter, we’re also finding a renewed commitment to living the lives we truly want to lead. That’s not to say that you need to make a major life change to live the life you’d like. Perhaps you’re doing exactly what you want to be doing with exactly the right people and figuring out how to keep that balance is your spring challenge. Personally, I’m recommitting to making time for the people who are most important in my life. Time with them helps keep me grounded, makes me happy and is, well, good for my soul. What does spring cleaning mean for you this year?

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Gabriel Inside My Head

Hanging on the Fence

Palm trees, the soothing sounds of crashing waves and pink sunsets. Some consider California to be a little slice of heaven. A slice that could soon have its first teeth marks from yours truly. But it’s an interesting situation to “follow” your significant other to another state. Many my age would stay far away from something of this nature, I figure but fortune favors the brave.

Opportunities like this don’t happen often enough to good people. But who wouldn’t be anxious about something like this? Major steps towards this and that, commitments to his and hers fuel the fire of doubt. Yet, the last few months, I have been fairly set on embarking on such a journey. I was recently discussing the Chinese New Year with a friend of mine who read me the prediction or whatever for my year, the monkey.

She read out loud what had been buzzing in my head for a little while at that point. This would be a year of major decisions. Some of which could alter my life’s trajectory. It struck me as strange on one hand, but on the other, it didn’t. It just reaffirmed what I knew. So now the whole hanging on the fence thing comes together (I think). The monkey, hanging, big decisions…you get the picture. I guess what I’m trying to say is: take the leap. Make your mark. Know that anything can lead to something. They say 90% of success is just showing up. Well, this guy is already up and getting dressed.

– Gabriel Oigbokie