Tag: Sharing

Ex-Boss, Future Boss?

I had lunch with my old boss yesterday. I like her so much…she’s super smart and I feel privileged that she wants to continue our relationship. Actually, I’m friends with all three bosses I had at that organization; however, I am not in touch with the bosses I had in the two subsequent jobs after that organization…interesting, I think. Was it the organization or the people? Maybe it was the organization that attracted the people.

In any event, I have been able to maintain this important relationship which has had incredible positive outcomes for me. I’ve learned so much, including: the importance of data in decision-making, how you can – and should – still consider the emotional side, delegation is not a weakness, and that having a good team can make all the difference. As a supervisor of staff, I have tried to emulate all the good things she showed me. Even in the jobs where my relationship was not positive with my supervisor, I was able to help and support other folks I worked with. Since then, their careers have grown and completely eclipsed my own. That makes me feel so good – to know that I played a role (not “the” role necessarily – clearly they had something all on their own!) in their professional growth and development. It is important – for both yourself and others – to support staff and co-workers who are coming up through the ranks. We cannot be afraid of another’s success, that they may somehow outshine us. The truth is that by making everyone on your team stronger, you reap the rewards, both personally and professionally.

– Libby Bingham

Tags Career, Growth, Sharing

Ashley On the Job

Trust & Empowerment

Working in teams is hard, and it’s difficult to pinpoint all the reasons why. I’m sure you have some ideas as to why – I sure do. Varying personalities, goals, passions, work styles, and so much more make teamwork challenging. While teams can struggle when priorities differ, there is also incredible value in recognizing the strengths of individuals to optimize the efforts of the team and create dynamic results.

There’s a great tool that’s caught on at work recently; the Gallup StrengthsFinder 2.0 assessment. (The Chief Goodness Officer here at Good for the Soul knows this tool well – she shared her own experience back in January!) If you’ve never heard of the assessment, it’s worth a look, and more than that, a consideration as an asset to your personal and professional future. You answer a series of questions in split second time and at the end, and then you receive a custom report based on your top 5 strengths. I won’t oversell it here, I’ll just say, it’s been enlightening for me, and impacted the way our team works together.

What’s happened with the StrengthsFinder 2.0 outcomes for our team is this: it’s given our team a platform to openly recognize one another’s genuine strengths. Sure, it sounds like the outcomes could be pretty stale and obvious, but they’re not. Even if you have an overlapping strength with a teammate, your custom report highlights the variation in your strength given the order, makeup, etc., of your top 5. The results have also afforded our team an opportunity to speak frankly about what makes us tick, and what we see as opportunities for our future work model.

For me personally, this exercise has taught me a lot about trust and leadership. When leaders trust their team, they can more easily develop consensus for priorities and projects. When leaders allow their team to make decisions on the team’s behalf and team members step up to the plate to make decisions without having to confer with a team lead at every corner, the results can be vast! Shortened decision making time frames and more dynamic and reiterative outcomes are just a couple of the positives results. The best leaders don’t just lead; they empower. When you recognize your team’s strengths, focus on building trust, and tackle challenges through empowerment, in my book, you’re doing great things as a leader.

Tags Organizational Development, Personal Development, Sharing

Ashley New Friends

Introducing Ashley Respecki

Post author By catherinewemette
Post date March 13, 2015
No Comments on Introducing Ashley Respecki

You can’t help but be drawn into Ashley’s energy. You can tell she’s got a lot going on inside her head and just can’t quite get it out fast enough. I’m immediately drawn to that enthusiasm for life. That kind of excitement means Ashley may not know exactly what the plan is yet, but she knows enough to know she’s in, regardless of what it is. I’ve not yet known her for a year at this point, but she is genuine, passionate, wicked smart and not afraid to laugh at herself, and I already feel like I’ve been lucky enough to know her far longer. One of my favorite things about Ashley is her dedication to making things beautiful – not just through design, but in a very human way. Pure joy is a beautiful thing, and she’s committed to bringing it into her life and the lives of those around her. In the work we’ve been doing together in our day jobs, we have a goal of being so happy and excited to get to work that you skip on your way, and Ashley reminds us of that goal all the time. It’s impossible not to have your day be beautiful when that’s what you’re working towards. Ashley is a natural voice for our Creative Community here, and I can’t wait for you to get to know her. Thanks for sharing your awesomeness with us, Ashley!

ashleyrespecki — Ashley Respecki – Cool Gal, Cool Photos

Before I realized the posts from new bloggers were simple, easy “Introducing So-and-So” posts, I had planned to title this post “What I’ve Learned About Self-Worth.” Now admittedly, I was feeling like the title promised a bit too much. But nonetheless, I offer you this introduction and mini inspirational kick-off as a new, incredibly honored, contributor here in the Good for the Soul Creative Community.

Sometimes you’re just cruising; life has dealt you a few good cards and you’re feeling on top of the world. In my case, 2014 was a solid year. I received a great opportunity to travel to Australia for an exchange program with a partner association, I was asked to contribute to real organizational change that will impact our entire workplace culture, plus, a promotion! (Did I mention health, happiness, and an amazing husband?) Then, out of nowhere, a shift happened. You know what I’m talking about, right? When the vibe, the energy, it just shifts. You feel as though you’ve lost support, you’re more excited about “offline” projects, and the people you’re surrounded by aren’t keeping you energized, challenged, or helping you grow.

A few weeks ago, Catherine reached out to me about the opportunity to share inspirations with the Good for the Soul community. Here’s the thing – it caught me off guard. When you’ve hit that shift, it’s often hard to take great offers and opportunities seriously. But when I started to evaluate the shift, I began recognizing a flip side. I noticed that the people in my life that see in me what I hope to convey to the world stand by me no matter what the mood. Sometimes these people get drowned out by the negative noise, but they’re still present. They’re there as mentors and friends, cheerleaders and lunch dates, advocates and collaborators, and they’re all helping each of us make it one step further, one day further.

What I’ve learned about self-worth is to listen. The people you choose to surround yourself with, or that you’re naturally drawn to, are often sending you a strong message. (Hell, they’re probably even telling you pretty often how great you are!) You should feel good about the support they offer, the kudos they share, and the opportunities they present.

I hope to share more about listening. It’s not one of my strengths, but it’s something I’m working on. As my time here at Good for the Soul evolves you’ll likely realize what I truly enjoy is telling stories; hence the longest introductory blog post known to man. If we meet in person you’ll realize I talk too much and way too fast. (Okay, let’s face it – I’m an over-sharer.) Expect stories and inspirations about architecture, design, photography, travel and culture. And if anything brings you back, hopefully it’s to hear inspiration or a story from my years of work at a video store when VHS tapes were still a norm, how and why I bartended my way through college, or the insanity that is being married to an architect. Thanks for having me!

Tags Fun, Introduction, Sharing

Inside My Head Karen

Life Is Unpredictable

Last week I hung out with a friend of mine. It was catch up time. We hadn’t connected in awhile. I asked if, instead of meeting for dinner or at a coffee shop, we could sip our hot beverage of choice while strolling the Vancouver seawall.

It was nightfall. The West End was beginning to settle in for the night. The air was refreshing. The sound of the water was peaceful. The boulevard was quiet, with a few evening runners and people walking their dogs.

Amidst the city lights, we shared life. The tales were filled with victories, defeats and self-reflection. My eyes sparkled as I listened to his joy and my shoulders slumped when he shared his hardship.

Also last week, I received a text message from a friend letting me know he lost a close friend in a car accident; another experienced unsettledness and is re-thinking their career; another went through a painful break-up; and one heard the news that her mother has cancer.

All in one week.

I find myself intently aware that circumstances knock on our door unannounced. Our lives are interwoven with elation and disappointment. Life is unpredictable.

And when we connect to each other’s lives, two powerful expressions of friendship are manifested: we listen & we are present. We extend compassion or a standing ovation; comfort or celebration; high fives or a shoulder to lean on; tears of joy or tears of grief. Whichever it may be, one thing is clear – we need each other.

– Karen Thrall

Tags Growth, Quiet Time, Sharing

Gabriel Inside My Head

Right Now

The perfectly seasoned sea bass melted in my mouth as my coworkers and I joked about life’s lemonade. I felt my phone vibrate, so looked down to check the message. It read “delete the group message, dude.”

It would have been rude to pursue the issue any further in the current circumstances, so I just did what the message told me, and our dinner continued. After some lovely and interestingly colored ice cream, I left with one of my coworkers. For the entire car ride, I was anxious to hear about the particular incident that caused such an abrupt disbandment of the seemingly dynamic chemistry this group had. Once I was dropped off and able to deal with the issue at hand, I was able to have a conversation with a trusted friend with whom the incident affected the most.

I found out that within the group there had been some misunderstandings between my old friend and another one of the guys. It escalated to the point of delusion and recklessness, and a decision was made to no longer include the divergent and intense thoughts of this individual amongst the group of friends.

Amidst all the commotion, my friend and I spoke in very positive terms about our future plans and how we can continue to progress towards our goals. I had shared the feeling of inadequacy that had been plaguing my mind recently. And he told me something I needed to hear: that I am doing just as well as anybody else. Given the resources at my disposal right now, I’m the best that I can be. Not confusing this with complacency, the recognition of success begins with the definition of success.

The next day my friend sent me a link to a YouTube video of an audio clip. It was a recording of a lecture called “The Strangest Secret” by Earl Nightingale. In the lecture, Nightingale shares why 5 out of 100 people will be successful: they do the work they do because they want to and love to. If you get up in the morning, get ready, and go to do whatever it is you do because you want to, then you are successful. The recording played as my eyes widen. It seemed as if Nightingale was listening in on our conversation the night before. Continued progression should always be the goal, but don’t forget to pat yourself on the back every now and then. Because right now, you’re doing just fine.

– Gabriel Oigbokie

Tags Growth, Personal Development, Sharing

Awesomeness in the World Karen

First Receive, Then Give

There is a presupposition about giving that I’ve noticed is quite popular. It is the mindset that we are to give more than we receive.

I disagree. Actually, I believe the opposite.

For you to truly give – you must give from what you already have.

How can I possibly give what I have not?

Therefore, receive first – then give.

Does that sound selfish? Not at all.

From what I have been given; from what I have received; from what I have experienced for myself – from that place I will give generously to you.

When I need help with my golf game, to whom do I turn? I turn to my friends that are scratch golfers, or I make an appointment with my golf coach. What they are able to give me is a surplus of information and experience. It is effortless for them to share golf tips with me that will improve my game. They are giving from what they have. They are giving from what they’ve also received that helps them play well.

KAREN: I am going to give you a dozen apples.

INVISIBLE CYBER VOICE: Do you have a dozen apples?

KT: Well, no.

ICV: How many do you have?

KT: I have one apple.

ICV: Then why would you tell me you’ll give me a dozen apples when you don’t have a dozen? Why don’t you just give me a portion of the apple you have?

KT: Oooo, good idea. A win/win.

You can’t pretend to give a dozen apples. The receiver will figure out soon enough that you don’t have a dozen apples to give!

Why would other forms of giving be any different? Why do we treat giving of ourselves as a sacrifice? The whole point of giving is generosity.

What does generosity mean? The quality or fact of being plentiful! Give from a place of plentifulness; a place of abundance. Give from what we have. What I have, I will give.

“Karen, what if I don’t have anything to give?”

Impossible.

There is always something to give. BUT only give what you have! Whatever you are able to give is precious. Stand in a pitch-black room where no light can penetrate. I’m talking the kind of darkness where you will not be able to see your own hand if you put it in front of your face.

Now, strike a match. What happens is extraordinary!

That little flame illuminates the entire darkened room.

Whether your “giving” is a single flame from a single match or the grandeur of a lighthouse beaming across the stormy ocean waves – light is light. Translate it now to generosity. Regardless of the quantity of giving, generosity is still generosity.

I may not have much, but what I have I will share. I like that mindset.

Never underestimate the power of your giving. It is far better to give from what you have than to give from a place of deficit.

KT: I do not have a dozen apples. But I do have one apple. Would you like to share it with me?

ICV: That is so generous of you KT. I would love to share it with you.

KT: I wish I could give you a dozen apples. But I only have one.

ICV: The fact that you’d be willing to share the only apple you have with me, means more to me than a thousand apples. Thank you.

Do you understand what I’m saying? Do you get my point?

“Karen, I am giving from a place of deficit. What do I do?”

Be honest. Stop sacrificing. Generosity was never meant to be equated with sacrifice. The whole point of generosity is giving from a place of abundance. If you ain’t got it – don’t give it! Simple enough.

I am adamant about this.

Trust me, you will experience more joy and pleasure in giving when you only give what you have. Whether that is a physical resource, your time, your heart, your soul, your energy, your mind, your talent, your wisdom, etc. Give from a place of abundance.

Only give what you have. Share only what you have. Stop giving from an empty tank – please fill it back up.When you invest in nurturing your well-being, you will give abundantly. Do not measure the amount of your giving, measure the generosity of your giving. Keep it simple.

If I give from an empty place, then I’m going through the motions of giving – giving has now become a duty – and I convince myself it’s the right thing to do.Giving from a place of surplus, however small the gesture, will have the greatest impact.

How do you know when and how much to give? What is your mindset around giving? Is it…

I really, really want to! – OR – I must.

I am so happy that I’m able to give. – OR – It’s the right thing to do.

It’s not much, but I want to share it with you. – OR – They really need my help.

Yes, there will be times in our lives we will sacrifice. However, remember what true sacrifice is. In those moments of sacrifice, there is great joy because we want to. Sacrifice is done as an expression of generosity; not hardship.

“Karen, what about at work? The demands are exhausting me. I keep piling work on my desk.”

How urgent is it? How much time do you have to get the work done?
What other areas of work are they willing for you to neglect while you focus on the newest task?
Communicate honestly what you have to give. Your colleagues and superiors understand. They know what it’s like to have a heavy workload. They will negotiate the completion date with you.
Ask for help. Teamwork rocks!

When John Fluevog (the person I report directly to) approaches me with ideas, projects or research – I ask him one simple question: “When do you need this by?” This will help me gauge if I can put the time into my work to complete the task. More so than not, it has a flexible timeline. And the few times it’s immediate, I call my colleague and let him know that I’ll be distracted for the next couple of days and I ask for his help to keep the ship on course.

I have a favor to ask of you… please practice receiving. It is a remarkable resource for giving. Ohhhh, that from a place of surplus you may give lavishly, extravagantly, wholeheartedly, effortlessly and generously.

– Karen Thrall

Tags Growth, Personal Development, Sharing

Inside My Head Libby

Involved and Engaged

I’m what my mom calls a “Do-Bee” – since I was a little kid, I was a helper, pitching in, taking the lead on school projects and the like. Back in the day, when I used to work in the office, I was a pretty involved employee – I volunteered for party-planning, task forces, charitable give-backs and the whole thing. Now I’m so far removed from a daily office routine that I usually go in on a Sunday so I don’t bogart the copy machine. It’s not so much that I miss the specific activities, but I now have to find other ways to expend my Do-Bee energy. Last year this looked like me being a homeroom parent for Kindergarten (talk about demanding!), summer camp researcher and family reunion organizer. This year it’s more like the outdoor classroom’s pond committee chair, hockey mom and retirement party organizer. All this activity should make me feel good, connected to the community and fulfilled, right? What I really feel is just plain tired.

How do I stop the Do-Bee cycle? Why am I compelled to volunteer, to help, to be involved, to do more? The thing is that if I’m not doing, I feel anxious, like I should be doing something (yes, please feel free to send me your therapist recommendations.), but when I am engaged in all these activities, I feel like I’m doing nothing well. Luckily, a friend recently posted an article on Facebook ( I definitely do NOT have time for Facebook, but this was worth it…) that spoke about women needing to cut themselves a break on how they’re living their lives – constantly worried about whether or not we’re making the right choices and if we’re doing enough and doing it well. It made me think in a new way about all the things I do – family, work, my Do-Bee activities – and I realized that I’m doing okay. I have my bad days, but generally, I can keep it all together and be a pretty good wife, mother, friend, worker, scheduler, planner and participant. Sure, I’m tired, but if I take a little pressure off myself, I realize that I’m pretty happy, too. That’s okay – not perfect, but pretty cool.

– Libby Bingham

Tags Growth, Personal Development, Sharing

Gabriel Inside My Head

Little by Little

The drive took way longer than we expected. Not long after we exited the city did we run into the northbound evening traffic we had so ambitiously tried to avoid. But I thought, “Hell. At least I’m out of DC.”

We crawled higher up the column of vehicles in front of us, all friends embarking on a trip for the city that never sleeps for a tasteful, yet raucous, weekend that threw itself together. The rented silver mom van sat all six of us comfortably. We all spoke often of how sweet it would be to own such a van in another life, while making fun of the oldest of us, who indeed was driving this homage to the loss of one’s dignity and/or cajones. We finally passed the dreaded obstacle of all road trips, hitting much sought after open road. After making a few stops along the way, we crept upon New York City as night fell.

The last two times I had been to the city are some of my fondest memories since living in the Northeast. Yet, I’ve always seen New York as an unapproachable beast of concrete, engines, and lights that I could never get acquainted with. However, on this particular trip, I found myself taking on the city with an approach that surprised me. I didn’t feel overwhelmed or stressed about the immensity of the crowds or the possibilities. I took the reins and walked through the city at my own pace. As the weekend progressed, I came to appreciate the company I was in, past that of my friends. I realized that even though things may seem large, intimidating, or just too big to handle, I shouldn’t shy away, but calmly approach it – little by little. Look at me! It took three separate trips to say, “I can handle New York.”

It just goes to show that any experience can facilitate growth, so keep your ears and mind open. Attack that unapproachable beast, one blow at a time.

– Gabriel Oigbokie

Tags Fun, Growth, Personal Development, Sharing

Jams

Throw Some Glitter, Make it Rain

Post author By catherinewemette
Post date February 11, 2015
No Comments on Throw Some Glitter, Make it Rain

Some mornings are harder than others for me to get out of bed (okay, okay – most mornings). I love the idea of being a morning person, but it’s just not me. I’m much more of a second wind in the evening sort of gal, though that’s not necessarily the best schedule for everything I like to get done in a day. So on days like today when the alarm goes off and I hit snooze (three times if we’re being honest), I need a little extra help. And that’s easiest for me to find in my playlists.

Music is important to me. It has the power to transport me to another time in my life, make me feel connected to something bigger and most importantly for me, music makes me want to have fun. I love the songs where you can’t help but sing along and dance around while you’re getting ready for the day. I’ve been accused of having the musical taste of a tween and I’m okay with that. There’s something to the catchy pop beats, easy-to-sing lyrics and the raw emotions found in these songs. Sure, they’re mass produced and there probably hasn’t been a truly original song in the past couple decades, but I’ll take them just the same. I like other genres of music, too, but my 25 most played give me away. You’ll find Ke$ha, Christina Aguilera, Nicki Minaj, Miranda Lambert, Kanye West, Fall Out Boy and an embarrassing amount of Britney Spears (she’s got 8 of the top 25 slots). These songs all help me set a tone for the day and transition from my morning workout to breakfast to getting ready for the day. I love the inspiration to have fun, kick some ass and enjoy doing it all – what more can you ask for from a playlist?

Tags Fun, Music, Sharing