Category: Inside My Head

Involved and Engaged

I’m what my mom calls a “Do-Bee” – since I was a little kid, I was a helper, pitching in, taking the lead on school projects and the like. Back in the day, when I used to work in the office, I was a pretty involved employee – I volunteered for party-planning, task forces, charitable give-backs and the whole thing. Now I’m so far removed from a daily office routine that I usually go in on a Sunday so I don’t bogart the copy machine. It’s not so much that I miss the specific activities, but I now have to find other ways to expend my Do-Bee energy. Last year this looked like me being a homeroom parent for Kindergarten (talk about demanding!), summer camp researcher and family reunion organizer. This year it’s more like the outdoor classroom’s pond committee chair, hockey mom and retirement party organizer. All this activity should make me feel good, connected to the community and fulfilled, right? What I really feel is just plain tired.

How do I stop the Do-Bee cycle? Why am I compelled to volunteer, to help, to be involved, to do more? The thing is that if I’m not doing, I feel anxious, like I should be doing something (yes, please feel free to send me your therapist recommendations.), but when I am engaged in all these activities, I feel like I’m doing nothing well. Luckily, a friend recently posted an article on Facebook ( I definitely do NOT have time for Facebook, but this was worth it…) that spoke about women needing to cut themselves a break on how they’re living their lives – constantly worried about whether or not we’re making the right choices and if we’re doing enough and doing it well. It made me think in a new way about all the things I do – family, work, my Do-Bee activities – and I realized that I’m doing okay. I have my bad days, but generally, I can keep it all together and be a pretty good wife, mother, friend, worker, scheduler, planner and participant. Sure, I’m tired, but if I take a little pressure off myself, I realize that I’m pretty happy, too. That’s okay – not perfect, but pretty cool.

– Libby Bingham

Tags Growth, Personal Development, Sharing

Gabriel Inside My Head

Little by Little

The drive took way longer than we expected. Not long after we exited the city did we run into the northbound evening traffic we had so ambitiously tried to avoid. But I thought, “Hell. At least I’m out of DC.”

We crawled higher up the column of vehicles in front of us, all friends embarking on a trip for the city that never sleeps for a tasteful, yet raucous, weekend that threw itself together. The rented silver mom van sat all six of us comfortably. We all spoke often of how sweet it would be to own such a van in another life, while making fun of the oldest of us, who indeed was driving this homage to the loss of one’s dignity and/or cajones. We finally passed the dreaded obstacle of all road trips, hitting much sought after open road. After making a few stops along the way, we crept upon New York City as night fell.

The last two times I had been to the city are some of my fondest memories since living in the Northeast. Yet, I’ve always seen New York as an unapproachable beast of concrete, engines, and lights that I could never get acquainted with. However, on this particular trip, I found myself taking on the city with an approach that surprised me. I didn’t feel overwhelmed or stressed about the immensity of the crowds or the possibilities. I took the reins and walked through the city at my own pace. As the weekend progressed, I came to appreciate the company I was in, past that of my friends. I realized that even though things may seem large, intimidating, or just too big to handle, I shouldn’t shy away, but calmly approach it – little by little. Look at me! It took three separate trips to say, “I can handle New York.”

It just goes to show that any experience can facilitate growth, so keep your ears and mind open. Attack that unapproachable beast, one blow at a time.

– Gabriel Oigbokie

Tags Fun, Growth, Personal Development, Sharing

Inside My Head Karen

Weariness

This past Monday, while walking to work, I became more and more intrigued.

What did I see? Exhaustion. Weariness. Tiredness.

As people approached me I’d look at them, into their eyes, and think: ”There’s another one. Another tired person.”

I enjoy casually walking to work with an Earl Grey in hand. What normally takes 30 minutes to walk, usually takes me 40 minutes. I stroll. I don’t like to rush. I don’t want to rush. By strolling, I soak in my environment. The ol’ saying “stop and smell the roses.” That would be the best description of how I view each morning.

What awaits me at work is a fast-paced, high energy, highly stimulated environment. For an introvert, although gregarious, this could easily suck the life out of me. But I’ve learned, over the last 13 years, that peace and tranquility are uncompromising resources in my life. I will not negotiate these two life sources. Since 2002, I am committed to finding my rest before my day begins.

I naturally wake up early, without an alarm clock (early, as in 5:30-6:00am). I like it. It allows me to just be. There’s nothing urgent at that hour. On the rare occasion that I need to move quickly in the morning, I instantly experience stress, pressure and anxiety. I do not want to start my day that way! No thanks! However, those rare occasions become gifts to me, reminding me once again that I MUST start my day with peace and tranquility. This is not just a good idea; it is a principle I live by. Good for the soul!

So, here I am, walking to work, soaking in the people – and my compassion begins to kick in. “So many weary people.”

Why?

Here are a few reasons I’d like to propose:

Busy, because they need a holiday and a slower pace of life to give themselves the opportunity to refuel again.
Striving, because they put pressure on themselves to perform at high levels.
Sleeplessness, because they can’t turn off their minds.
Bored, because they are in a rut and don’t know how to create fresh life for themselves.
Lonely, because they don’t know how to freely express the longing for what they truly desire and want.
Restless, because they are dissatisfied with part or all of life.
Worried, because they have financial debt and are not living within their means.
Hurt, because they carry an un-resolve for wrongdoings they’ve experienced.
Shame, because they can’t seem to quite forgive themselves for one, or ten, or countless mistakes – in other words, they can’t forgive themselves for being human.
Disappointment, because they thought their lives would have been so much different than the outcome they are presently in.

Weariness is a result of excessive exertion or lack of sleep. The opposite of weary? Refreshment.

Excessive exertion can take place in your body, your mind and your soul. You may be doing too much and your body is tired; you may be thinking too much and your mind is tired; you may be feeling too much and your soul is tired.

Pause for a moment. If any of the proposed reasons for weariness applies to you, then it’s time for you to find your rest. By finding rest, you will be refreshed.

Refreshment means to gain new strength; to restore; to revitalize…to wake up.

How does one find rest? Sometimes it requires only simple adjustments:

Slow your pace down. Walk slower. Sit longer. Breathe slower. Talk slower.
Give yourself that extra 15 minutes so you don’t have to experience feeling rushed; or late; or in a hurry.
On the weekends, start your day one or two hours later. It’s the weekend – the opportunity to not have a responsible schedule (unlike what is required of you at work).
Sip your coffee/tea in silence. Learn to enjoy the sound of quietness again.
Don’t make excuses for your tiredness: avoid “yeah, but…”
When’s the last time you really had a day off? It’s not sustainable to keep yourself busy every day. (and I’m referring to all three: body, mind and soul).
Instead of using electricity, light candles. Candlelit rooms create an environment for tranquility.
Take a break from your computer, mobile and/or television.
Stroll or sit outdoors and breathe in the fresh air.
Take a break from using your car.

I’m not asking you to change your life. Keep everything exactly the way it is.

I’m only asking one thing… add rest.

-Karen Thrall

Tags Growth, Personal Development, Quiet Time

Gabriel Inside My Head

If You Could Fly, Would You?

Post author By catherinewemette
Post date February 6, 2015
No Comments on If You Could Fly, Would You?

I don’t know how many people have gotten the opportunity to see Michael Keaton’s new film Birdman, but it is, to say the least, interesting. With a stellar cast that includes Zach Galifianakis and Edward Norton, the film follows washed-up actor Riggan Thomas (Michael Keaton), who, after turning down a fourth installment of his well known superhero role “The Birdman,” tries to re-launch his career by putting on a Broadway play which he writes and stars in. You can imagine how much heat he receives for even attempting to do this. Throughout the movie, it seems as though Riggan, constantly taunted by the voice of his Birdman character, has been blessed with telekinesis and the ability to fly. None of the other characters are ever around to witness this. This little motif struck me to be a representation of the internal battle we all have with our past selves.

Attempting to do something new and different can be scary and intimidating in the beginning – like all new challenges. However, in many cases, we can be our own worst enemy or obstacle when trying to move forward on a new path. From then on, a battle incites within. Like Riggan allowing all the critics and his fears to dictate his performance, we let outside distractions block our way and then may use them as excuses not to continue. But sometimes listening to the voice inside is just what we need. When Riggan ultimately gives in to the Birdman character, his “larger than life” movie star persona is revived. After his psychological transformation, Riggan puts on an opening show that turns each sour critic sweet and gains him the respect he sought so earnestly.

In the final scene of the film, we see Riggan’s daughter, Sam, find her father flying outside of the window. Riggan finally decides to let his inner Birdman fly. Hence, my title. If you have the opportunity to take that stomach-turning leap into something potentially awesome, do it. Don’t let anything or anyone stop you from trying to fly. Who knows? Maybe you’ll just soar.

– Gabriel Oigbokie

Tags Change, Growth, Movies

Inside My Head Karen

Carefree Moments

It was a rainy morning. I was in my car, approaching an elementary school. I saw something so full of life. My curiosity heightened. I had to pull over. And watch.

A little girl was walking through the open field, heading to school. She carried a bright pink umbrella. The winds were powerful. All of a sudden, its force grabbed the umbrella from her little hands.

The umbrella starts rolling and jumping across the field.

She chases it…

Laughing!

The wind became her playmate.

She ran to catch her umbrella. And the wind would twirl it in the air and bounce it across the grass. This continued until at last she captures her umbrella.

She tilts her head back, with a big smile on her face, as though she were saying “Oh Wind! You are so silly.”

Her laughter made me laugh. I smiled. And drove away.

A little girl reminded me to never stop living whimsically – regardless of the storm.

There is wonderful adventure awaiting us at any moment. Remind yourself, again, that you love carefree moments.

What carefree moment have you experienced in the last seven days?

– Karen Thrall

Tags Fun, Growth, Quiet Time

Gabriel Inside My Head

Karate Choppin’ with Your Head Up

Post author By catherinewemette
Post date January 28, 2015
No Comments on Karate Choppin’ with Your Head Up

As this technological engagement continues, my passion for movies and television will become very apparent, starting now. I’ve been in sort of a rut lately about where I’m headed in this crazy thing we call life, but recently I was flipping through the channels on the tube and came across a favorite movie of mine. Before we get too far into this, I have to give a short history of my love for martial arts movies. High flying kicks, lightning fast fists, and tons of harnesses and cables couldn’t create a more beautiful picture. Who doesn’t want the strength to break stone slabs with an open hand?! I’ve always loved the greats like Bruce Lee and Jackie Chan (a god amongst men). But this particular film stars the very talented Jet Li, who may be in a class of his own.

Jet Li’s Fearless tells the story of Huo Yuanjia, a martial artist who lost everything due to his aimless greed and ambition. But after this tragedy, he rises from his lowest point to become a peaceful, wise, and confident man. Through his hardships, he understands the fervor and confidence with which he fought his enemies is just what his country needed to save its identity from being washed out by British colonies. This simple moral truly spoke to me at the time. From watching one man’s journey, I learned that even in your worst moment it only takes that tiny spark of courage to pick yourself up and make a change. Hopefully you don’t have to hit rock bottom in order to realize that it only takes a bit a confidence to inspire millions or even pitch that idea you’ve been sitting on for two months. Telling yourself “just try it” can take you from zero to hero before you can turn around. With all that in mind, I hope you feel as if you can take on the world, level by level, one karate chop at a time. And remember inner strength is the strongest of all.

– Gabriel Oigbokie

Tags Fun, Movies, Sharing

Inside My Head

Beautiful Things

I did a bit of traveling last week – a few days in Austin for a meeting of leaders in the architectural community and then on to Salt Lake City for some quality friend time and the Sundance Film Festival. While this work and play seem unrelated on the surface, it was interesting to see the overlap and the similarities between architects and filmmakers who, in the most basic sense, want to leave the world better than they found it. Architects are interested in addressing client desires and challenges through practical, sustainable and beautiful design. Filmmakers are interested in sparking conversations through relatable, compelling and beautiful stories.

My favorite beautiful experience from the week had to be Dope, a comedy/crime drama/love letter to 90’s hip hop (yes, the music is as good as you’d imagine). The movie was funny and poignant, and you so badly want everything to work out for the trio of high school seniors who bring the story to life. What was more exciting than the story, however, was the energy in the small Park City theater. This was the world premiere and the writer/director, cast and their friends and family had all shown up for the debut. As the lights came down and the title screen showed up, there was cheering from the large reserved section in the back. That cheering and the loud, appreciative laughs for the first joke (the first of many well-executed and timely jokes), invited the rest of us to enjoy this experience as a group. It was an endearing and inspiring movie that took advantage of having the audience on its side to ask some big questions about race and our expectations of people in our society. Those big questions brought uncomfortable silence, cheers and a few tears. It was an incredible experience to share all that with everyone in the theater, including those who brought the story to life.

I’m so grateful to have been a part of that audience, at that theater in that moment in time, and I hope many more people will have the opportunity to experience Dope. In the meantime, I’m looking forward to more beauty, however it may appear.

Dope1 — Dope director, Rick Famuyiwa, and lead actors

Tags Fun, Movies, Sharing

Inside My Head Karen

Believe and Trust

Every December, before the new year begins, I contemplate what the next theme will be; what journey will I embark on; what learnings will I experience; what stories will unfold.

It hit me with strength and clarity as I sat looking out over the Pacific Ocean in Vancouver: My theme for 2015 is #Believe&Trust.

Believe: Believe in your present and in your future with expectancy; with hope; with confidence.

Trust: Trust with relentless surrender in the very things you long for; trust the path you are on.

Believe and Trust in the uncommon and the extraordinary. The remarkable.

In reflecting, I think Believe and Trust are some of the hardest verbs to surrender to:

They are our bane and our delight.
They haunt us and exhilarate us.
They unsettle us and draw us to peace.
They disturb us and heal us.
We shame ourselves when we lack them and are content when we lavish in them.

Believe and Trust meld us into raw vulnerability. Inviting us to surrender over and over and over again. Not easy…

Perhaps to Believe and to Trust means to let go of control, just a little more. Doors will open and doors will close. And all will be well.

Is there an area in your life where this resonates with you?

Sometimes we allow our circumstances to thwart our confidence. We’ll let conversations, moments and environments infect us with doubt. Whatever is going on in your life right now doesn’t define you – it shapes you. And this is good. Valuable. Your life is a series of chapters – being woven into your story. And the reader, captivated, turns each page with wonder to see what happens next.

Believe. And trust.

-Karen Thrall

Tags Growth, Motivation, Personal Development

Inside My Head Libby

You’re My Greatest Inspiration

Post author By catherinewemette
Post date January 19, 2015
No Comments on You’re My Greatest Inspiration

So a couple weeks ago, Joey, my 6 and half year old son, climbed into bed with me in the middle of the night (we’re working on it). I was somewhat startled awake by a soft little caress on my cheek – I opened my eyes and his face was right there. Smiling at me in the dark. I smiled back (what else can you do?) and he said, “Mama, have I told you that you’re my greatest inspiration?” So I did whatever any mom would do in that lovely moment and said, “Can I inspire you to go back to sleep?”

The next morning I was in a better frame of mind to really think about the whole thing – I cried a little at the beauty and laughed at it, too. I was also impressed that he knew a word like “inspiration” (a work colleague suggested that maybe he had been listening to Peter Cetera and Chicago on the down low…). And finally, I was terrified. Me? Somebody’s “inspiration”? Come on.

People who inspire other people are GREAT people, people like Martin Luther King, Jr. (happy birthday, by the way), Ghandi and Susan B. Anthony. Inspirational people are those that change the world and have grand thoughts; guts AND glory. Not me. But then I looked up the definition; according to Merriam-Webster online it means:

something that makes someone want to do something or that gives someone an idea about what to do or create : a force or influence that inspires someone; a person, place, experience, etc., that makes someone want to do or create something; : a good idea

These definitions put inspiration into a totally different light for me – I started thinking about how Pink’s music can inspire to me to go to the gym more, how my friend – who is a mother of twins, works part-time out of the home, fights for reasonable gun control measures in her spare time, bakes and is still laid-back and funny – inspires me to be more engaged, how my husband’s small gestures of love and respect inspire me to reinvest in our relationship on a daily basis, and how an appreciative word from a member or colleague about a program or project inspires me to want to do even better.

I am Joey’s primary caretaker – I get him ready in the morning, walk him to school, pick him up, hang out with him afterwards, take him to music and hockey practice, etc. We spend a lot of time together – it’s not always fun – it can be stressful, exhausting and we are both cranky sometimes. But when I think about his ability to read chapter books on his own, use words like “inspiration”, try new activities like taekwondo and the School of Rock all on his own, tie his shoes and say something kind to his friends or the lady at the grocery store, I can kind of see how I’ve inspired him…and remember how he inspires me every day to be more than I think I am and maybe even inspire someone else. You can be inspirational, too…how cool is that?

-Libby Bingham

Tags Motivation, Personal Development, Sharing